Wedding Lists- how do the work and why do they exist?
Discussion
This has always puzzled me, being asian we don't do this and seems so bizzare to me. Im getting married soon and the idea of giving a 'list' to people I am inviting and asking them to buy something seems from it is nuts. On principle if im spending money and inviting someone all I want is for them to have a good time, if they get something or not & what is up to them
Might be getting it wrong though as don't know the in and outs- does it only apply to close family or everyone you invite? Is there a story behind how it started?
Might be getting it wrong though as don't know the in and outs- does it only apply to close family or everyone you invite? Is there a story behind how it started?
Edited by amir_j on Friday 26th February 16:05
We just sent out a link to a John Lewis online gift list, not so much asking as just to say it's available. It's traditional, for us at least, that people coming to a wedding will bring a present, it gives them the opportunity to pick something you want and not clash with others.
I genuinely don't care if people buy 'off list' or no one buys us anything, anything we do receive is a bonus as far as I'm concerned. It's not a big deal, just a guide for people who want to use it.
I genuinely don't care if people buy 'off list' or no one buys us anything, anything we do receive is a bonus as far as I'm concerned. It's not a big deal, just a guide for people who want to use it.
Edited by cs02rm0 on Friday 26th February 16:09
Having recently got engaged i know all about these. The basica principle, as far as i can see, is to blag the entire contents of your kitchen for free from everyone you know.
Personally i think its a bit cheeky but stooped in tradition everyone seems more than happy to give us forks and plates... expensive ones from nice shops too so im not complaining.
Personally i think its a bit cheeky but stooped in tradition everyone seems more than happy to give us forks and plates... expensive ones from nice shops too so im not complaining.
we had one at John lewis many years ago. We got quite a bit of stuff but mainly the cheaper things, and ended up with half a dinner service that cost me many ££'s to buy the rest myself.
Luckily our family has a bit of a cash giving tradition at the reception line rather than presents, so about two thirds of guests just stuffed a wedge of cash or a stuffed envelope in my hand as they shook it. I had about 3 grand stuffed in my pockets by the time we sat down to eat :-)
Luckily our family has a bit of a cash giving tradition at the reception line rather than presents, so about two thirds of guests just stuffed a wedge of cash or a stuffed envelope in my hand as they shook it. I had about 3 grand stuffed in my pockets by the time we sat down to eat :-)
bigdods said:
Luckily our family has a bit of a cash giving tradition at the reception line rather than presents, )
Thats the asian way, but indian traditions dicate that its not as generous as the english way. would be £50 ish from a mate and £10 ish from distant cousins. Wedding invites normally say "no box gifts" which again I dislike.Im trying to insist we put something like "low priced, interesting & unusual gifts would be welcome"
anonymous said:
[redacted]
I went with my fiancee to John Lewis to do it - they gave us a PDA to go round with to book the stuff on, being an electronic toy they handed it to the man, quite rightly, and so if I didn't think anything should be on the list we were suddenly in a wifi blank spot.That said though, there were a few things I let through for the sake of peace and quiet and they seem to be the things that were bought first. I guess the other problem is the women buying as much as the woman putting crap on the list.
Edited by cs02rm0 on Friday 26th February 16:51
originally it was done to help the new couple in their new home (they would have lived seperately, with their own parents beforehand) by buying some things which they need but could'nt afford- towels, bed linen, toasters, kettles etc etc
It has developed since there into the opportunity to replace your Ikea stuff with John lewis stuff. its traditional, and a nice way to show how much you like the couple
really, its no different to the Hindu weddings I've been to, where you give cash at the door which gets counted and a receipt given...
It has developed since there into the opportunity to replace your Ikea stuff with John lewis stuff. its traditional, and a nice way to show how much you like the couple
really, its no different to the Hindu weddings I've been to, where you give cash at the door which gets counted and a receipt given...
anonymous said:
[redacted]
Nope I disagree! I'm the one that keeps taking stuff off the list and he gets very excited putting big TVs and a washer/dryer on!! Luckily ours hasn't gone live yet so there's time to get it sorted!I prefer buying off a gift list. Saves having to think to get them something that they don't already have, they actually want, and no one else will get. Oh and most of the time they deliver direct so you don't have to wrap it and cart it around on the day!
williamp said:
really, its no different to the Hindu weddings I've been to, where you give cash at the door which gets counted and a receipt given...
Only ever been to one, OH's mate, invite said "no box presents", she is 'occasionaly' dizzy and didn't get it, so bought a experience voucher (not cheap one though) but didnt tell me untill the day, the cash collector was quite confused and wasnt sure what to do 
amir_j said:
Might be getting it wrong though as don't know the in and outs- does it only apply to close family or everyone you invite? Is there a story behind how it started?
Originally, the idea was that a couple would be setting up home together when they got married so the gifts were to help set up, equip and furnish the house - not so relevant nowadays!Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff