Soooo, teenage pregnancy...

[Hairspray]

Yesterday, I found out that someone very close to me is pregnant. It is a complete mindfk, if I'm honest, because I'm worried about her and what is going to happen to her. She is most definately not the type of girl to fit that stereotype of 'booze swilling tracksuit wearing benefit cheating scab on the face of society' that the media portrays them as, just a girl that was unlucky and doesn't want to terminate.

I guess I was wondering if anyone on here has any close encounters with teenage pregnancy and whether it really could be alright in the end? I love her and am worried about her really, and her future.

[sleep envy]

I s'pose we can be sure this time that it really is 'a friend' who's the dad

[Jasandjules]

Family member got pregnant at 15 or so. It was hard for the rest of the family but they got married etc.. and hated each other for a while then got divorced...

So it's not all bad...........

In all honesty, ask her does she want to spend her life regretting not having a "childhood" and doing all the things that her friends are doing like going out and getting p***d of a weekend, starting a new job etc.. because she WILL be fairly alone (save for family of course) but I also think that when she is 25-30 she will then do the things that she should have done at 16-21 because she will realise she has missed out.

Sorry, that sounded like a sermon there. Suffice to say, FFS don't do it.

[Mazda Baiter]

Hairspray said:

I love her and am worried about her really, and her future.

Does not compute.

Seriously, if she has the right sort of people around her and is offered the right kind of support, then there is no reason that, with the right attitude, she should not bring up a well behaved member of society as well as contributing to society herself.

If she doesn't have the right attitude, it won't matter who is around her.

[joewilliams]

My OH counts as a teenage mother.

Having a child at any stage of your life involves compromise and hard work, but I think that she's giving up more than older mothers. That said, it's the choice she made and she wouldn't swap our son for anything.

The Boy was the result of some bad luck and an unwillingness to go through an abortion. Terminations are medically simple but emotionally complex, and should not be seen as an easy way out.

If she's made her choice, then support her. She'll need it.

[Westy Pre-Lit]

[ArtVandelay]

A friend of mine got pregnant about a year ago now and is now the proud parent of a baby boy. She lives with his father and everything seems to be going okay. Upon hearing the news, I initially thought "fking hell, she's far too young to have a bairn!" She's a couple years younger than me yet she surpasses me in maturity easily, as does her boyfriend since the child's birth.

I listened to her story, she was clearly worried and didn't know what to do. As it wasn't really anything to do with me, I tried to give a balanced opinion and discussed her options. I didn't feel it was my place to push her toward keeping it or abortion, despite myself personally thinking that abortion was probably the best option at the time. Thankfully I didn't force my opinion on her and her son is beautiful and they're both very happy. Her parents have apparently been fantastic as have the boyfriends.

Pregnancy at a young age is not the worst thing that can happen if it is handled sensibly. Both of the parents have made sacrifices and have a stable environment for the boy to grow up in. It came as a shock to me, being told she had some "big news" I expected her to tell me that she'd managed to get a gig (she's a very good singer) and I was completely taken aback by the news of pregnancy.

I think she was right to keep the child as she knew who the father was (seemingly a rarity these days if Jeremy Kyle is anything to go by*)

• O/T but Jeremy Kyle had a couple on, with a father wanting to know whether the child was his or not. Miss White claimed it was whereas Mr White was unsure. Baby Black just smiled oblivious

[Gnits]

I heard that the teenage pregnancy rate had dropped recently. Is that because they are now all too fat, ugly and smell bad to shag?

[tj2002]

Happened to someone close to me. She's now 19, in her second year at uni studying to be a social worker and her son is a legend, the family is closer than ever partly as a result if the little in. It can work out she will need alot of support and love from those close to her because I'm sure she's scared sh!tless.

[robinhood21]

Westy Pre-Lit said:

Dear father, dear father, I must confess
I left a girl in a terrible mess
Her dress is torn and her tits are bare
And there's something inside her that shouldn't be there

Dear son, dear son, you should have known better
You should have used a French letter
Dear father, dear father, you do me unjust
I used a johnny but the fking thing bust.

[Kit80]

I was technically one (19), shock to the system and some HUGE sacrifices to make but there is life after children, if you have a decent sense of responsibility and common sense.

I am alright now to, just In between jobs at the moment but I have a career, my own home, my own car etc. Just need to put in some graft for it.

[catmartin]

One of my friends got pregnant at 15. This was in a really posh school and she was from quite a well off/strict family, so it was certainly a talking point for a long time.

8 years on and she is a nurse with a good degree under her and AAA at Alevel. Fair enough she didn't go out all the time when we were going anywhere, but she made it a lot of the time. Things might have been different had her family not had the means to support as well as they did financially and in terms of minding him, but I think it really is about attitude.

She kept on with her education the entire time and the experience changed her for the better. She is one of the most level-headed and non-judgemental people I know, probably because she has been judged so badly before. Just to add that she is ridiculously goodlooking and it's amazing the amount of guys who suddenly "love kids" and "would love to go to the park some day"!

[Penny-lope]

Having a baby at a young age doesn't mean life has to stop.

A close friend from school fell preggers aged 16.....she is now a qualified doctor, happily married (to a younger man), and along with her 18 year old daughter, also has a 6 year old son and a new baby daughter.

Yes the early days were tough for her, with no social life and very little money.....but she never regretted a day.

I myself don't think I could have ever been so brave, and would have went down the route of termination. But each to their own.

[EDLT]

I know someone who had her first child at 15, then got her first grandchild 16 years later.

For some people there is just no hope.

[spanna123]

So, I'm 18, 19 in 2 months and I have a 3 month old son. A year ago now I had just found out my girlfriend of (then) 6 months, who was 16 at the time, was pregnant. We were always careful, she was on the pill and we used a condom every time.

The thing is, you never expect it to happen to you. I have no regrets about having child so young, though at times it is very hard trying to combine education, work, spending time with family and finding time for socialising (which is quite rare). I go to college, work in a family members property business and have also applied to do a HND (degree) next year.

So, all is not lost for your friend as my prospects are quite promising.

However, I am very lucky. We live together in an extension to my parents home with our own living room, bathroom, bedroom and nursery, so we have our own space which helps a lot, not being in my parents way and the lil fella crying is not heard by them.

I know of a few other people in my area who are tennage parents and they really do not have it easy. A girl I know is 17 and has a 2 month old girl and the father is currently serving 8 months in prison. Not a good situation.

From first hand and recent experience I can say that it depends on the situation. As mentioned before, a supportive family is key to hep you through the beginning until you know exactly what you're doing.

On a positive note, having my son at 18 probably means that he will have left home by the time I'm 40 and providing I don't have any more children, my life really will begin again at 40!

Good luck to your friend and I hope the future is good for her.

[HundredthIdiot]

spanna123 said:

On a positive note, having my son at 18 probably means that he will be living in the attic with my grandson when I'm 36

EFA.

[ZOLLAR]

My OH was pregnant at 19 (just within the teenage years) 2 years down the line we have an amazing little boy and gladly another due in August! We work full time (i'm full time) have own private house , depends on what sort of person you are i've always wanted a family so did she.
With regards to missing out on going out and getting drunk etc if one of us wants to go out the other looks after the little guy its all about helping each other and making sure we dont help out i know other people my same age as me with children they dont cope as well so i suppose it varies from family to family!.
If you just support her Op when ever she needs help im sure she'll be ok!.

[Beefmeister]

spanna123 said:

We were always careful, she was on the pill and we used a condom every time.

Er...........







Have you thought about a DNA test?

[RevoHJC]

hahaha

Piston Heads turns Jeremy Kyle.


FOR GODS SAKE PUT SOMETHING ON THE END OF IT!

[V8mate]

sleep envy said:

I s'pose we can be sure this time that it really is 'a friend' who's the dad

Unless the little harlot 'turned' the OP?