"QUOTES"

[bomberharris]

some funny thought provoking quotes from people past

• "Some cause happiness wherever they go others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde

• "If they can make penicillin out of mouldy bread, they can sure make something out of you" - Muhammad Ali

• "Even if I knew that tomorrow the world gos to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree" - Martin Luther

• "I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception." - Groucho Marx

• "Choose a job you like and you will never have to work a day of your life - Confucius

• "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on a Saturday night." - Woody Allen

• "Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves."- Confucius

now lets look at some quotes from people of today

• "There are many other kinds of milk available. Why don't we try drinking rats' milk and dogs' milk?" - Heather Mills

• "I've always thought Marilyn Monroe looked fabulous, but I'd kill myself if I was that fat." - Liz Hurley

• "If I could read a book, I'd definitely read one of yours." - Paris Hilton to Jackie Collins

• "Wasn't Winston Churchill the first black president of America? There's a statue of him near me... that's black..." - Danielle Lloyd

• "Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident... you know you have to do something about it because you know you're the only one that can really help." - Tom Cruise

• "Is an egg a vegetable?" - Jodie Marsh

• "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey

anybody else got any funny or doomed quotes

Edited by bomberharris on Sunday 7th March 14:19

[soad]

"I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada." - Britney Spears

"I don't diet. I just don't eat as much as I'd like to." - Linda Evangelista

"The only happy artist is a dead artist, because only then you can't change. After I die, I'll probably come back as a paintbrush." - Sylvestor Stallone,

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country." - Mayor Marion Barry

"I'm not anorexic. I'm from Texas. Are there people from Texas that are anorexic? I've never heard of one. And that includes me." — Jessica Simpson

[Comfortably Dumb]

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. " - Einstein


There have always, and will always, be stupid people. Why not quote some Dawkins or Hawkings to redress the balance?

[al1991]

Oscar Wilde 'I can resist everything but temptation'

[Cock Womble]

Friedrich Nietzsche said:

That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Ian Dury said:

...Apart from Polio.

[anonymous-user]

Think i prefer the jokers version of nieztshe' comment

That which doesnt kill you, makes you stranger

[davido140]

“Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be. ”

“I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop. ”

“Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs"

All Noel Coward

Edited by davido140 on Sunday 7th March 19:09

[ErnestM]

Some from others more intelligent than myself:

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a well-armed lamb contesting the vote!" - Benjamin Franklin

"The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg." - Thomas Jefferson

"The two enemies of the people are criminals and government, so let us tie the second down with the chains of the Constitution so the second will not become the legalized version of the first." - Thomas Jefferson

"You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift. You cannot help small men by tearing down big men. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong. You cannot lift the wage-earner by pulling down the wage-payer. You cannot help the poor man by destroying the rich. You cannot keep out of trouble by spending more than your income. You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred. You cannot establish security on borrowed money. You cannot build character and courage by taking away men's initiative and independence. You cannot help men permanently by doing for them what they could and should do for themselves." - William Boetcker

"The beauty of the Second Amendment is that it will not be needed until they try to take it." - Thomas Jefferson

"When the people fear their government, there is tyranny; when the government fears the people, there is liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither safety nor liberty." - Benjamin Franklin

"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies." - Groucho Marx

"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable." - John F. Kennedy

"What luck for rulers that men do not think." - Adolf Hitler

"When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic." - Benjamin Franklin

[slomax]

A friend of mine- "Would you walk on the sun if we paid you?"
Another aquiantance- "Nah man, It's too hot innit... Actually yeah, I'd have to do it at night though yeah?"
We had a good laugh at the level of his stupidity.

[RosscoPCole]

'If everyone is thinking alike, someone isn't thinking.' General Patton
'Strive for perfection in everything you do. Take the best that exists and make it better. When it does not exist, design it' Sir Henry Royce
'The man who has no imagination has no wings.' Muhammad Ali
'Wisdom begins in wonder.' Socrates
'Do or do not, there is no try.' Yoda

[leeeeshad]

"I ate a big red candle"

[Simpo Two]

ErnestM said:

"When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic." - Benjamin Franklin

And the democracy (see Welfare State)

[mikeyr]

"i wish i was a dustman as they only have to work one day a week" - my work colleague

[Mojooo]

That Conficius seemed to have a lot to say for himself. Gobby Muppet.

(Mojooo, 2010)

Edited by Mojooo on Sunday 7th March 21:26

[CardShark]

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by - Douglas Adams

[Cock Womble]

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance..."

[SFMXKR]

I intend to live forever, or die trying.
Groucho Marx

[Gun]

"Imagination will often carry us to worlds that never were. But without it we go nowhere."

"In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."

"We live in a society exquisitely dependent on science and technology, in which hardly anyone knows anything about science and technology."

All by Carl Sagan.

[Outbound]

"The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it." ~Dudley Moore


"If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane." ~Author Unknown


"A tree never hits a car except in self defense." ~Author Unknown



There are lots of them on here:

http://www.quotegarden.com/

[rayny]

"I don't have an attitude problem,
you have a perception problem."

From a great actress whose name escapes me in the rum induced stupor