Women and talking in bed... why?
Discussion
OH is great except for one thing, the need to talk in bed...
I will go to bed at 10:30 - 11 pm as Im up at 6ish to get ready to work.
So I go to bed to sleep or whatever and go when I want to sleep and last night was no different as I had been on stag do on saturday and rolled in on sunday at 11am.
If the OH joins me and then talks about the renovation, what we are going to do next week, blah, blah, blah....
Gets in a strop when I say I need sleep and thats why i have gone to bed and im up in 7 hours for work...
conversation is:
OH: 'But we dont talk anymore, we are on the laptops or watching tv at night and dont talk'
Me: 'Hang on... you used me laptop to talk to your folks for an hour or 2 and then I used it to look at buying tickets for the wedding next weekend and some stuff for the week'
OH: Yes but we dont talk when we are on the computers.
Me: Well if you want to talk or chew the fat, then do so and I will put the laptop away and we can chat.
OH: Yes but then all we do is watch tv?
Me: You wanted to watch the lizzy thing on TV?
OH: but thats not the point thats all we did.
Me: you knew I was out all saturday on a stag do and got back to the hotel at 4/5am to get the stag home and then came back at 11am, so Im a little tired and would like some sleep.
OH: But now is the only time we talk... So I would like to talk!!
Me: NO... you want to talk, then talk instead of Laptop or TV, but not now, you can stay in bed in the morning (she can do so til 11am sometimes) and I need to be up at 6am, therefore I am not talking ot chatting about things now.
OH: but we need to sort things out for tomorrow.
Me: so ring me when you get up or we will discuss it at 6am when I get up.
OH: But I will be sleepy then and not remember anything.... We never talk anymore or do anything together...
(To place the scene)
for the last 6 weeks I have been work 12 hour days and most weekends we will be out together sorting items for the bathroom renovation, we dont leave the flat till 1pm (shes is in bed) and then get back at 7pm... nearly always saturday and sunday, the only days I have not done this is saturday and 3 weeks ago when I refused to go out on a sunday.
So now I have a grumpy OH and I finally got to sleep at 1:30am.... jesus Im knackered.
why do females need to talk about anything in bed when we were in the lounge watching tv and on laptops for the previous 2 hours and not a word was mentioned other than to see if she would like a drink/food... or see who she is talking to on the laptop (ironic eh)...
Is it just a female reflex? need to talk in bed when there is no escape for the bloke?
I will go to bed at 10:30 - 11 pm as Im up at 6ish to get ready to work.
So I go to bed to sleep or whatever and go when I want to sleep and last night was no different as I had been on stag do on saturday and rolled in on sunday at 11am.
If the OH joins me and then talks about the renovation, what we are going to do next week, blah, blah, blah....
Gets in a strop when I say I need sleep and thats why i have gone to bed and im up in 7 hours for work...
conversation is:
OH: 'But we dont talk anymore, we are on the laptops or watching tv at night and dont talk'
Me: 'Hang on... you used me laptop to talk to your folks for an hour or 2 and then I used it to look at buying tickets for the wedding next weekend and some stuff for the week'
OH: Yes but we dont talk when we are on the computers.
Me: Well if you want to talk or chew the fat, then do so and I will put the laptop away and we can chat.
OH: Yes but then all we do is watch tv?
Me: You wanted to watch the lizzy thing on TV?
OH: but thats not the point thats all we did.
Me: you knew I was out all saturday on a stag do and got back to the hotel at 4/5am to get the stag home and then came back at 11am, so Im a little tired and would like some sleep.
OH: But now is the only time we talk... So I would like to talk!!
Me: NO... you want to talk, then talk instead of Laptop or TV, but not now, you can stay in bed in the morning (she can do so til 11am sometimes) and I need to be up at 6am, therefore I am not talking ot chatting about things now.
OH: but we need to sort things out for tomorrow.
Me: so ring me when you get up or we will discuss it at 6am when I get up.
OH: But I will be sleepy then and not remember anything.... We never talk anymore or do anything together...
(To place the scene)
for the last 6 weeks I have been work 12 hour days and most weekends we will be out together sorting items for the bathroom renovation, we dont leave the flat till 1pm (shes is in bed) and then get back at 7pm... nearly always saturday and sunday, the only days I have not done this is saturday and 3 weeks ago when I refused to go out on a sunday.
So now I have a grumpy OH and I finally got to sleep at 1:30am.... jesus Im knackered.
why do females need to talk about anything in bed when we were in the lounge watching tv and on laptops for the previous 2 hours and not a word was mentioned other than to see if she would like a drink/food... or see who she is talking to on the laptop (ironic eh)...
Is it just a female reflex? need to talk in bed when there is no escape for the bloke?
OP, do you live with my OH too? I've never noticed you. 
I think it's just a woman thing, like you say, you sit all night and watch TV (or as I do, work for hours as setting up business) then you go to bed as you are tired and all you get is a talk about how she is bored/frustrated/never goes out now/don't pay her enough attention/anything everything else in the world that is wrong which, obviously isn't her fault, but all yours.
I often get this talk until stupid o'clock in the morning, by which time I have to be up in half an hour, so shattered for work.
I think it's just a woman thing, like you say, you sit all night and watch TV (or as I do, work for hours as setting up business) then you go to bed as you are tired and all you get is a talk about how she is bored/frustrated/never goes out now/don't pay her enough attention/
I often get this talk until stupid o'clock in the morning, by which time I have to be up in half an hour, so shattered for work.
Kick her out of bed when you get up. Why is she in bed at 11am?
Try and get your sleep cycles realigned. Also plan to have a chat. Set time aside when both of you can talk about what you want. Get argreement on when talking is a bad idea.
It sounds as if you are in a bit of a rut as a couple. You need to do that now.
It's easy to spot as an outsider; I wish someone had told me and may be I wouldn't be getting divorced
Try and get your sleep cycles realigned. Also plan to have a chat. Set time aside when both of you can talk about what you want. Get argreement on when talking is a bad idea.
It sounds as if you are in a bit of a rut as a couple. You need to do that now.
It's easy to spot as an outsider; I wish someone had told me and may be I wouldn't be getting divorced
Its not that easy as the begining of the end, she is just a little down for the following reasons:
Cant find a job cause of the current climate.
We are sleeping at a friends flat (bathroom revamp) and for want of a better word, its a f
king dump, he never cleans (we do), it has little heating, we are slept on a hand me down matteress (I gave it to him to tide him over when he moved in) so we are effectively sleeping on the floor so sleep aint great. I miss my memory foam matteress...
No couple time as the place is small and we cant really sit on the sofa and relax as its his space so respecting it, plus sofa (2 seater and there is 3 of us) is the most uncomfortable ever and the bedroom fits a double materess and nothing else...
First thing that we need to do is to get the living accomodation sorted and back in my flat...
When we get back in there it will all go back in place, its more of a case we are both grumpy and knackered due to the renovation job and we WANT/NEED to get back asap to a more confortable enviroment...
Cant find a job cause of the current climate.
We are sleeping at a friends flat (bathroom revamp) and for want of a better word, its a f
king dump, he never cleans (we do), it has little heating, we are slept on a hand me down matteress (I gave it to him to tide him over when he moved in) so we are effectively sleeping on the floor so sleep aint great. I miss my memory foam matteress...No couple time as the place is small and we cant really sit on the sofa and relax as its his space so respecting it, plus sofa (2 seater and there is 3 of us) is the most uncomfortable ever and the bedroom fits a double materess and nothing else...
First thing that we need to do is to get the living accomodation sorted and back in my flat...
When we get back in there it will all go back in place, its more of a case we are both grumpy and knackered due to the renovation job and we WANT/NEED to get back asap to a more confortable enviroment...
jshell said:
OllieWinchester said:
Arese said:
She's going to leave you.
HTH
I fear this chap may be rightHTH
1) My remote, my TV, my choice of channel. No Eastenders, Coronation Street, Emmerdale or Holby City. Lots of Megastructures, Ice Road Truckers, Scrap Heap Challenge, Top Gear etc.
2) Choosing which film to watch is a doddle.
3) I'm online as long as I like. No sites are off-limits, and no tracks need be covered.
4) Bed is for sleep.
5) Loud, smelly farts are a source of pride, and no-one complains that I've dropped a face-melter.
Oh, I got a cracking 7 hours sleep last night and was up at 7am refreshed and raring to go. Happy days.
I can scarcely comprehend that someone has bothered to type such an irrelevant conversation in such detail. Its almost an art form.
Im going to try it
Mrs BSR: What do you want for dinner?
BSR: I don't mind
Mrs: Well decide on something. If I just make you something you will moan
BSR: OK, curry
Mrs: Chicken?
BSR: Yes. Chicken.
Thats all I can manage before even my own mind makes me stop, even though I do it in parody.
Wow.
Shame there isn't a living to be made doing that, as you would be brilliant at it.
Im going to try it
Mrs BSR: What do you want for dinner?
BSR: I don't mind
Mrs: Well decide on something. If I just make you something you will moan
BSR: OK, curry
Mrs: Chicken?
BSR: Yes. Chicken.
Thats all I can manage before even my own mind makes me stop, even though I do it in parody.
Wow.
Shame there isn't a living to be made doing that, as you would be brilliant at it.
Dupont666 said:
Its not that easy as the begining of the end, she is just a little down for the following reasons:
Cant find a job cause of the current climate.
We are sleeping at a friends flat (bathroom revamp) and for want of a better word, its a fking dump, he never cleans (we do), it has little heating, we are slept on a hand me down matteress (I gave it to him to tide him over when he moved in) so we are effectively sleeping on the floor so sleep aint great. I miss my memory foam matteress...
No couple time as the place is small and we cant really sit on the sofa and relax as its his space so respecting it, plus sofa (2 seater and there is 3 of us) is the most uncomfortable ever and the bedroom fits a double materess and nothing else...
First thing that we need to do is to get the living accomodation sorted and back in my flat...
When we get back in there it will all go back in place, its more of a case we are both grumpy and knackered due to the renovation job and we WANT/NEED to get back asap to a more confortable enviroment...
May be in that case you should both make an effort to go to bed earlier to allow yourselves your own time to chat and it not eat into your sleep time. It sounds like a temp problem, or did this happen before you moved into this situation?Cant find a job cause of the current climate.
We are sleeping at a friends flat (bathroom revamp) and for want of a better word, its a f
king dump, he never cleans (we do), it has little heating, we are slept on a hand me down matteress (I gave it to him to tide him over when he moved in) so we are effectively sleeping on the floor so sleep aint great. I miss my memory foam matteress...No couple time as the place is small and we cant really sit on the sofa and relax as its his space so respecting it, plus sofa (2 seater and there is 3 of us) is the most uncomfortable ever and the bedroom fits a double materess and nothing else...
First thing that we need to do is to get the living accomodation sorted and back in my flat...
When we get back in there it will all go back in place, its more of a case we are both grumpy and knackered due to the renovation job and we WANT/NEED to get back asap to a more confortable enviroment...
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