Bloody Children
Discussion
Last week, whilst bathing my 11 month old son, we invented a new game. This game was the funniest thing he'd ever come across and resulted in him laughing solidly for about 30 minutes. The rules of the game were simple. I popped one of his foam shapes into my mouth, and fired it out over his head and into the bath, which he would laugh uproariously at. He would then collect the foam shape and post it back into my mouth for a repeat performance.
This week he's been off with a bad bout of D&V, which has often resulted in him having to be showered off as the nappies were inadequate to maintain the pressure boundary between his arse and his clothing. On Sunday he had yet another bout of said screaming ab dabs, which meant I had to sit in him in the bath whilst I attempted to undress him.
My less than elegant attempts resulted in him sat in his own poo, with his clothes liberally smeared in it. So as I attempted to hose him off - holding him in one hand, and the shower head in the other - he decided that this was boring and that we should play a game. So he decided to post his poo covered hand into my mouth, which in itself was less than pleasant. Only, because I had no hands free, I was unable to protect myself from his s
tty advances so he must have decided that because I'm now retching at this point that this must be a new game. Running with this new concept he decided that he'd join in by smearing his hand all over my face. As you can imagine, Sunday was not a high point of Fatherhood.
Eventually I managed to get him sorted, and when I finally got chance to clean myself up I looked in the mirror to see something akin to a film, the likes of which would get me banned from PH if I posted a link to it.
This week he's been off with a bad bout of D&V, which has often resulted in him having to be showered off as the nappies were inadequate to maintain the pressure boundary between his arse and his clothing. On Sunday he had yet another bout of said screaming ab dabs, which meant I had to sit in him in the bath whilst I attempted to undress him.
My less than elegant attempts resulted in him sat in his own poo, with his clothes liberally smeared in it. So as I attempted to hose him off - holding him in one hand, and the shower head in the other - he decided that this was boring and that we should play a game. So he decided to post his poo covered hand into my mouth, which in itself was less than pleasant. Only, because I had no hands free, I was unable to protect myself from his s
tty advances so he must have decided that because I'm now retching at this point that this must be a new game. Running with this new concept he decided that he'd join in by smearing his hand all over my face. As you can imagine, Sunday was not a high point of Fatherhood.Eventually I managed to get him sorted, and when I finally got chance to clean myself up I looked in the mirror to see something akin to a film, the likes of which would get me banned from PH if I posted a link to it.
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