Happy families, or not... need some advice
Discussion
Thankfully not my family, but my son is involved and frankly I'm a bit stumped as to what to do..
Long story shortend..
Ex GF (mother of my son) doesnt speak to her parent any more, I see them a couple of times a year.
Been this way for 2 or 3 years.
Ex's dad is going to have a kidney transplant in a few days, he's previously had a couple of heart attacks and had a variety of other ailments so his chances of surviving surgery are about 50/50.
He's asked to see my son before going in for the op as it might be his last chance.
Ex said no. She's in charge with the boy, she could cut the time I get to see my son in half if she wanted and what she says goes. (had a lengthy and expensive court battle, but thats a different story).
Following some persuasion from her brother she's now having second thoughts, the main issue now is how would it affect a 10 year old boy seeing a grandfather he's pretty much forgotten about (been nearly 3 years) who will either recover and he wont be able to see again or die and he wont be able to see again.
She's willing to put her amimosity towards her parents aside and is now stuck with the same problem as me, is letting the boy see his grandfather going to do more harm than good?
Saying no would be the easy option, no explaining, no potential for upset if the grandfather kicks the bucket, but also seems like a massive lazy get-out of having to do the explaining and trying to be over protective to the boy.
I dont really have a lot invested in this one emmotionally from the grandfathers point of view, only from my sons.
Fire away PH.....
Long story shortend..
Ex GF (mother of my son) doesnt speak to her parent any more, I see them a couple of times a year.
Been this way for 2 or 3 years.
Ex's dad is going to have a kidney transplant in a few days, he's previously had a couple of heart attacks and had a variety of other ailments so his chances of surviving surgery are about 50/50.
He's asked to see my son before going in for the op as it might be his last chance.
Ex said no. She's in charge with the boy, she could cut the time I get to see my son in half if she wanted and what she says goes. (had a lengthy and expensive court battle, but thats a different story).
Following some persuasion from her brother she's now having second thoughts, the main issue now is how would it affect a 10 year old boy seeing a grandfather he's pretty much forgotten about (been nearly 3 years) who will either recover and he wont be able to see again or die and he wont be able to see again.
She's willing to put her amimosity towards her parents aside and is now stuck with the same problem as me, is letting the boy see his grandfather going to do more harm than good?
Saying no would be the easy option, no explaining, no potential for upset if the grandfather kicks the bucket, but also seems like a massive lazy get-out of having to do the explaining and trying to be over protective to the boy.
I dont really have a lot invested in this one emmotionally from the grandfathers point of view, only from my sons.
Fire away PH.....
Edited by davido140 on Wednesday 14th April 20:58
MrTom said:
Explain to your son if he is old enough to understand what is happening to Grandfather and whether he wants to see him.
That was going to be my suggestion - however, I have no idea of the maturity of a 10 year old. I'd imagine, however, that it's probably sufficient.One thing your ex may want to consider is that, whichever decision she makes, if he does pop-his-clogs, it will be the only chance she'll have to make that decision. If that makes sense? i.e. She'll only have regret in the future, not a chance to make it different.
I'd take him to see his Grandad, and get him to give his Grandad a kiss and a cuddle.
I don't think he'll quite understand that his Grandad may not survive an operation etc. so it's easier to my mind not to tell him that, but if the worst happens, you can just tell him that Grandad has gone away now (assuming he ever asked).
I don't think he'll quite understand that his Grandad may not survive an operation etc. so it's easier to my mind not to tell him that, but if the worst happens, you can just tell him that Grandad has gone away now (assuming he ever asked).
Jasandjules said:
I'd take him to see his Grandad, and get him to give his Grandad a kiss and a cuddle.
I don't think he'll quite understand that his Grandad may not survive an operation etc. so it's easier to my mind not to tell him that, but if the worst happens, you can just tell him that Grandad has gone away now (assuming he ever asked).
This.I don't think he'll quite understand that his Grandad may not survive an operation etc. so it's easier to my mind not to tell him that, but if the worst happens, you can just tell him that Grandad has gone away now (assuming he ever asked).
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