Stupid Automated Systems

[cazzer]

Do people who design automated phone systems ever sit back and look at what they just did?

I just tried to make a phone call and BT put me through to an automated system reminding me I haven't paid my bill. Fair do, I forgot. I was in hospital and forgot all about it.
Never mind...there's an option to pay by debit card....

Press 1....

Please enter your account number (I haven't got it I don't know where the bill is).
Please enter your account number (Why? You know I'm dialling from the phone the bill is related to)
Please enter your account number (Look it up from your database)

If you don't have your account number you can proceed but with limited card payment options.

Press 1....

Without your account number you can only pay the exact amount of your bill (why would I want to pay otherwise?)

Please enter the exact amount of your bill (I DONT KNOW I HAVEN'T GOT THE BILL!!!!!)


Christ above...they have the computers and the systems. They put me through to the automated "you haven't paid your bill line".
Why can't they cross reference your number to your account and the amount so you can pay it.
It really isn't difficult ffs.

[Lucie W]

I love automated systems!

A few months ago I called the cinema booking line.

System - Please say the name of the cinema you wish to book for
Me - Leicester
System - Did you say Lougborough
Me - NO
System - Did you say Leicester?
Me - Y E S
System - Please say the name of the film you would like to book for
Me - G R E E N Z O N E
System - Did you say Avatar?
Me - No
System - Repeat which film you would like to book for
Me - GREEN ZONE!!
System - Ok, please select the viewing time for the film AVATAR

• Hang up, set off for cinema*

It's even funnier when you have to do something like this in public...anyone in earshot thinks you're talking to someone rather deaf or stupid.

[Steamer]

Lucie W said:

I love automated systems!

You'd make a good friend for my ex then.

[davido140]

Lucie W said:

I love automated systems!

A few months ago I called the cinema booking line.

System - Please say the name of the cinema you wish to book for
Me - Leicester
System - Did you say Lougborough
Me - NO
System - Did you say Leicester?
Me - Y E S
System - Please say the name of the film you would like to book for
Me - G R E E N Z O N E
System - Did you say Avatar?
Me - No
System - Repeat which film you would like to book for
Me - GREEN ZONE!!
System - Ok, please select the viewing time for the film AVATAR

• Hang up, set off for cinema*

It's even funnier when you have to do something like this in public...anyone in earshot thinks you're talking to someone rather deaf or stupid.

like something straight off of phone jacker!

[jimmyjimjim]

cazzer said:

Do people who design automated phone systems ever sit back and look at what they just did?

You'd be surprised at what customers think is a good idea. Back in the day when I used to set such things up, they had either not really thought about it at all (at which point we got pretty much free rein and were able to tell them what they should be doing - end result, some good setups), or documented every single part of the decision tree...for an install as worthless as the one you describe.
Basically, someone who orders a system like that, for the most part won't have experience of what it can or cannot do, and won't be able to chose their options appropriately.

My favourite one at the moment is for xcel energy; works a treat. Call in, press 2 for English, 2 to pay your bill, picks up your phone number, associates it with your account, tells you what the bill is, and lets you pay in the same way as you did last time. you hit 2 about 6 times, then 1 about 6 times, job done in under 2 minutes.

[Arese]

Thanks for your post regarding "Snoopy Unrelated Chickens". Someone will be along shortly to answer your query.

[5678]

Worst one I've used recently is the DVLA, christ, I had to go through about 6 levels before speaking to someone.

[Menguin]

The good thing with automated systems is there is always a shortcut to get straight through to an operator:

3782153872635867341287365412763412387541386751423857124

Repeat until the system gives up, and transfers you

[isee]

5678 said:

Worst one I've used recently is the DVLA, christ, I had to go through about 6 levels before speaking to someone.

You got lucky. last time I needed to speak to someone, I had to go threough 6 options, but the problem is, I took a "rong turn" at option 2 so everything else i rpessed was leading me furthe and further away from the topic and culminated in a recorded message with the only remaining option "hang up the phone".

infuriating!