Dogshit wars.......think I've got an enemy!!

[scorcher]

Near the end of last week i found a pile of dog crap on my drive. I was peeved, and I bagged it and binned it (being a dog owner myself).At the weekend i found some more.This time I was really pissed off that someone would let it happen twice.So I put a board up outside thanking the "dirty scumbag dogowner" for leaving there mess and telling them that if I found out who they were I would return the favour with a weeks worth of my dog crap( He's a Mastiff x Rottie)
Today I recieved a Postcard via Royal Mailfrom an anonymous person( presumably the dog owner).It says...
Here is the No. for the samaritans as you obviously need help!That board you put up shows just how vindictive and small minded you really are. You had better watch out in case you get a truck load of manure dumped on your doorstep!

Charmed I'm sure!Not only do they let their dog crap on my drive ,They now want to flytip a load of st on my drive!!!

I have updated my board outside to read....

Thankyou shameless anonymous dirty dog owner for your postcard. Thanks for the no.for the samaritans I can now get the help you think I need.If you think this board makes me small minded and vindictive thats fine by me.At least I'm not lazy and pick up after my dog!You are now threatening to dump a load of manure on my drive. Nice!!!! Feel free to pop in and apologise anytime you like.
PS smile for the camera.

I get a feeling I'm going to get some more st!!!

[Conian]

invest in cheap cctv!

[Pothole]

probably not THE dog owner, but maybe A dog owner...ignore it.

Your notice was a pretty petty thing to do, imho.

[NiceCupOfTea]

I would have forgone the notice and setup a camera, found out who it was, followed them home, and posted all the st through their letterbox.

[moanthebairns]

Buy a gate, lock it! Problem solved!

[Muntu]

NiceCupOfTea said:

I would have forgone the notice and setup a camera, found out who it was, followed them home, and posted all the st through their letterbox.

In a paper bag. That was set alight. etc

[TheEnd]

Muntu said:

NiceCupOfTea said:

I would have forgone the notice and setup a camera, found out who it was, followed them home, and posted all the st through their letterbox.

In a paper bag. That was set alight. etc

with a gallon of petrol, and nail the doors shut

[NiceCupOfTea]

No, not in a paper bag. It would be too easy to pick up and bin. It needs treading into the carpet

[EDLT]

You put a sign outside your house ranting about dog poo?

[-crookedtail-]

EDLT said:

You put a sign outside your house ranting about dog poo?

[cazzer]

What the hell happened to people being able to just walk round dog st and ignore it?

[Shay HTFC]

Pothole said:

probably not THE dog owner, but maybe A dog owner...ignore it.

Your notice was a pretty petty thing to do, imho.

A notice saying you do not appreciate it would be fine. But putting a petty threat at the end was a bit sad.

Edited by Shay HTFC on Thursday 29th April 23:15

[FraserLFA]

Any relation?

[Muntu]

NiceCupOfTea said:

No, not in a paper bag. It would be too easy to pick up and bin. It needs treading into the carpet

That is why it has been set alight. He will try and stamp it out

[NiceCupOfTea]

Muntu said:

NiceCupOfTea said:

No, not in a paper bag. It would be too easy to pick up and bin. It needs treading into the carpet

That is why it has been set alight. He will try and stamp it out

OK, OK, let's compromise:

Put the dog st in a paper bag, set fire to it, and then post it through the letterbox

(this is a joke by the way)

[Rothgo Wooft]

-crookedtail- said:

EDLT said:

You put a sign outside your house ranting about dog poo?

It would brighten up my day if I walked past that sign and read it. Good on the OP!
Add a black board an chalk and you could have a front garden forum. Look out for trolls.

[ShadownINja]

Pepper on the drive.

Or a claymore.

Wait, I don't mean leave a Peppa Pig toy on your drive. That's just stupid.

Edited by ShadownINja on Friday 30th April 01:05

[Taffer]

cazzer said:

What the hell happened to people being able to just walk round dog st and ignore it?

What the hell happened to people taking responsibility for the creature they own and performing the (not exactly taxing) activity of cleaning up after it?

OK, possibly the OP might have been a bit sad by posting the notice, but some lazy st is letting their dog st on his drive, repeatedly. I'd be a bit pissed off, to say the least. Instead of posting notices though, I think my response might involve returning the waste to the dog's owner - in bags at first, but then direct to the face if they don't get the hint.

[Meoricin]

ShadownINja said:

Pepper on the drive.

Or a claymore.

Wait, I don't mean leave a Peppa Pig toy on your drive. That's just stupid.

Edited by ShadownINja on Friday 30th April 01:05

But you are still suggesting leaving a sword out there, right?

[dudleybloke]

make a compressed air crap cannon and hide it aimed at the usual poo point.
wait untill the offender is there letting his dog lay an egg then let rip with the high pressure turd howitzer!