Toilet devastation
Discussion
I had a similar experience last week. Sent an email to every member of staff saying that a male member had left something nasty in the toilet that should be disposed of post haste before our cleaner came in. Further, did they need any Immodium.
Cue everyone in the company sat watching the door to see who went in first. Bad monkeys.
Cue everyone in the company sat watching the door to see who went in first. Bad monkeys.
Animal said:
I had a similar experience last week. Sent an email to every member of staff saying that a male member had left something nasty in the toilet that should be disposed of post haste before our cleaner came in. Further, did they need any Immodium.
Cue everyone in the company sat watching the door to see who went in first. Bad monkeys.
Cue everyone in the company sat watching the door to see who went in first. Bad monkeys.
I used to work for a solicitors firm several years ago. The toilets were on our floor, and there was a giant of a woman who used to leave the most horrific smelling deposits in the female toilets. To the point where the girls in my office bought Oust to spray specifically after this creature's visits.
Anyhow, one day Hulk came out of the toilets post cable laying session, and proclaimed "Oh, don't anyone go in that right hand cubicle, I just went in and someone has done a huge poo and it hasn't flushed". Now, we knew right away that this woman was the culprit - her track record and the sudden stench were evidence enough. But the way that she went on about it was the giveaway. She went around telling pretty much the whole company to avoid the toilets, and put a sign up on the cubicle saying "Danger - massive poo!". Which wasn't far from the truth. It was like a baby's arm clawing its way round the u-bend. But Shakespeare put it well when he wrote "The lady doth protest too much, methinks".
Fast forward a couple of hours and word must have got back to this woman that everyone knew it was her. That or she thought the fuss (which was really just her) must have died down. Either way, she ventured into the toilets again and came out several minutes later shouting "Good news! The poo has vanished!". Which was pretty unbelievable due to it's size, but we humoured her until she left. One of the girls I worked with decided to go and check out this statement, and came back in fits of laughter. The log had indeed vanished, but was replaced by a lot of water which had splashed onto the seat and a ruler in the bin. Shame that Hulk used to label all of her stationery.
Anyhow, one day Hulk came out of the toilets post cable laying session, and proclaimed "Oh, don't anyone go in that right hand cubicle, I just went in and someone has done a huge poo and it hasn't flushed". Now, we knew right away that this woman was the culprit - her track record and the sudden stench were evidence enough. But the way that she went on about it was the giveaway. She went around telling pretty much the whole company to avoid the toilets, and put a sign up on the cubicle saying "Danger - massive poo!". Which wasn't far from the truth. It was like a baby's arm clawing its way round the u-bend. But Shakespeare put it well when he wrote "The lady doth protest too much, methinks".
Fast forward a couple of hours and word must have got back to this woman that everyone knew it was her. That or she thought the fuss (which was really just her) must have died down. Either way, she ventured into the toilets again and came out several minutes later shouting "Good news! The poo has vanished!". Which was pretty unbelievable due to it's size, but we humoured her until she left. One of the girls I worked with decided to go and check out this statement, and came back in fits of laughter. The log had indeed vanished, but was replaced by a lot of water which had splashed onto the seat and a ruler in the bin. Shame that Hulk used to label all of her stationery.
s3fella said:
What sort of pig fishes out a monster 'Stobbart' with a ruler and puts it in the bin? Or did she use the ruler to un-jacknife it so it could get round the hairpin??
Either way, can I just say...."Ewwwwwwwww!".
I believe the traditional technique is to mash it up with a wire coathanger. However, the real turdmasters will go for the 'sEither way, can I just say...."Ewwwwwwwww!".
t or bust' method of ramming a load of toilet paper down with it and hoping the himalayan pressure with catapult the plop into the ocean. The downside of this method is that you may end up with poo everywhere.Gassing Station | The Lounge | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff