Bit of advice please... mate owing me money.
Discussion
Right, not sure the best way to explain this. Here we go.
Back in 2007, a friend of mine borrowed a £300 bicycle off me. I lent it to him as I had no reason not to - I wasn't using it, I trusted him, and he'd only be going down the road with it.
A few hours later, he knocked on my door on foot. I instantly assumed the worst, and it was true. He was in our local park and had let some chavs borrow my bike. They didn't come back.
Initially I was pissed off at him but I forgave him afterwards as if I'd have been there in the same situation I would have given up my bike too. In fairness I'd rather him have gone through the mental stress than me.
Recently I got him a job with a good friend of mine. He didn't seem to reciprocate my offer and got fired very soon. I don't really care about him but it reflects badly on me, which isn't good.
Recently he's had some family trouble (bringing it on himself or not, I don't care) so he's been very tight on money. However thanks to benefit Britain he earns almost as much as me, which in fairness a lot goes on rent. Yet he still has enough to spend on fags/beer/drugs/bets with other friends, yet when I ask him for the money for my bike back, he either says ask me later or it's too late and just write it off.
Now I'm all for matey mates and if a friend smashes a glass or breaks a window round mine accidentally, I'm not really bothered. The fact that he acknowledges he owes me money yet flaunts his non-repayment in my face really pisses me off. I even gave him time to get back on his feet rather than just being a t
t and demanding my money there and then - yet I feel like I'm majorly losing out. £300 is a lot of money.
I'm not sure what steps to take next. I'm definitely bringing it up with him again next time I see him and speaking strongly to ensure he at least knows of my feelings. I am still good friends with him (if I ignore the money situation) so I'd rather not lose that. I've had many thoughts in my mind, even going as extreme as taking his PS3 and calling it collateral, so shut up and write it off like you did my fking bike.
Any advice would be very appreciated. I don't know how to approach these things with mates.
Back in 2007, a friend of mine borrowed a £300 bicycle off me. I lent it to him as I had no reason not to - I wasn't using it, I trusted him, and he'd only be going down the road with it.
A few hours later, he knocked on my door on foot. I instantly assumed the worst, and it was true. He was in our local park and had let some chavs borrow my bike. They didn't come back.
Initially I was pissed off at him but I forgave him afterwards as if I'd have been there in the same situation I would have given up my bike too. In fairness I'd rather him have gone through the mental stress than me.
Recently I got him a job with a good friend of mine. He didn't seem to reciprocate my offer and got fired very soon. I don't really care about him but it reflects badly on me, which isn't good.
Recently he's had some family trouble (bringing it on himself or not, I don't care) so he's been very tight on money. However thanks to benefit Britain he earns almost as much as me, which in fairness a lot goes on rent. Yet he still has enough to spend on fags/beer/drugs/bets with other friends, yet when I ask him for the money for my bike back, he either says ask me later or it's too late and just write it off.
Now I'm all for matey mates and if a friend smashes a glass or breaks a window round mine accidentally, I'm not really bothered. The fact that he acknowledges he owes me money yet flaunts his non-repayment in my face really pisses me off. I even gave him time to get back on his feet rather than just being a t
t and demanding my money there and then - yet I feel like I'm majorly losing out. £300 is a lot of money.I'm not sure what steps to take next. I'm definitely bringing it up with him again next time I see him and speaking strongly to ensure he at least knows of my feelings. I am still good friends with him (if I ignore the money situation) so I'd rather not lose that. I've had many thoughts in my mind, even going as extreme as taking his PS3 and calling it collateral, so shut up and write it off like you did my f
king bike. Any advice would be very appreciated. I don't know how to approach these things with mates.
In fairness, he was one of the guys who really supported me when I decided to move. Always bought me a pint, always gave me somewhere to come and chat, was always backing me no matter what. I don't hold the theft against him in that sense as I don't think there was anything he could have done. Six chavs versus him and another mate (who also got his bike nicked). Nonetheless I think if you have a mate's property in your posession when it gets nicked you should definitely pay him back. It's man law - break/lose it, buy it.
Discuss it with him, not just by slipping it in, but by making it the first thing you talk about and be clear about how you feel and explain what you would like £300/new bike/equivalent bike off ebay. He currently may just think that you bringing up occasionally is just banter, so make it clear this is not the case. If he refuses to recompense you either write it off and forgive him or knock him down a notch from mate to acquaintance.
Your not going to see your money mate. Just one of those things that you'll either have to write off and forget him, or make a statement and batter the tt after giving him one more warning that its coming. But are you that sort of person, and you run the risk of it blowing up with your other mates.
t after giving him one more warning that its coming. But are you that sort of person, and you run the risk of it blowing up with your other mates.Thanks chaps. I don't like disagreeing with you folks but I don't want to lose this chap as a friend, as apart from that one incident he has been a fantastic friend. Nonetheless I'll definitely be pushing strongly to get my cash back as soon as possible. I have no problems even with calling in debt collectors.
Cheers guys. Have a virtual pint on me.
Cheers guys. Have a virtual pint on me.
sebhaque said:
Thanks chaps. I don't like disagreeing with you folks but I don't want to lose this chap as a friend, as apart from that one incident he has been a fantastic friend. Nonetheless I'll definitely be pushing strongly to get my cash back as soon as possible. I have no problems even with calling in debt collectors.
Cheers guys. Have a virtual pint on me.
So you didn't actually want advice?Cheers guys. Have a virtual pint on me.
I'm happy that you guys have said your sentiments on him. Helps me decide what to do next.
The reason I haven't binned him is because he was there for me when two of my best mates died. He was there when I dropped out of school. He was there when another best friend decided to ps off to the isle of wight. He was also there when my dad went into hospital on fear of death. He's seen me through a lot and I'm not sure whether to write the bike off as hey, mates are mates - or whether y'know, mates should cough up for others' loss. I'm taking the latter approach and will be speaking to him about it. If he can't remain civil then I'll take your advice and cut him off.
The reason I haven't binned him is because he was there for me when two of my best mates died. He was there when I dropped out of school. He was there when another best friend decided to p
s off to the isle of wight. He was also there when my dad went into hospital on fear of death. He's seen me through a lot and I'm not sure whether to write the bike off as hey, mates are mates - or whether y'know, mates should cough up for others' loss. I'm taking the latter approach and will be speaking to him about it. If he can't remain civil then I'll take your advice and cut him off.write the bike off, you'll not see the money again. even if he'd given you the cash back then you'd likely have pissed it against the wall.
however, you do need to have a word regarding his lax attitude to the situation and whatever it is he's doing to annoy you recently to have written your OP
however, you do need to have a word regarding his lax attitude to the situation and whatever it is he's doing to annoy you recently to have written your OP
In my group of (close) friends I would not be asking for the money back because at the end of the day, it was stolen. If you were the one that was there on that day you would have had it stolen aswell and its the risk you took in lending him the bike.
I would say his lax attitude is probably linked to his own thoughts on this too, its not like he decided to throw it down a cliff and then came back and said it was broken and that he is not paying...
It's the same as lending someone your car...it is not their fault if it gets nicked from outside of their house as long as they locked it before they went inside. The only difference being that the car would be insured where as the bike is not.
As long as you know he did the best he could to keep your bike (whilst making sure he did not get a beating at the same time) then I can't see the problem. Write it off.
I would say his lax attitude is probably linked to his own thoughts on this too, its not like he decided to throw it down a cliff and then came back and said it was broken and that he is not paying...
It's the same as lending someone your car...it is not their fault if it gets nicked from outside of their house as long as they locked it before they went inside. The only difference being that the car would be insured where as the bike is not.
As long as you know he did the best he could to keep your bike (whilst making sure he did not get a beating at the same time) then I can't see the problem. Write it off.
I will need return business class airfares from Melbourne, Australia, several thousand pounds in cash for expenses and credit card with a 10,000 quid limit for emergencies. I will also except a modest wage of 300 pounds a day, to be re-negotiated after 3 weeks. (this could be a dangerous long term assignment.) A high powered car and a shooter. I WILL GET YOU YOUR 300 QUID BACK!!!!!
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