Awful chav parenting
Discussion
Every week day morning that I actually get to have a lie in. I am without fail woken up at 8:40am by the screaming crying of a boy who is around 5-6 years old and his even louder screaming chav mother. I usually ignore it and put a pillow over my head but this morning it happened again so I looked out the window because it actually sounded like the poor boy was dying! There's the chav mother grabbing him really hard by the arm, shaking him about a bit, screaming in his face, before pushing him backwards and then her leaving him and walking across a road. Now I'm all for the I'm leaving now and walk away a little bit in a safe place, but had he then proceeded to run across said road to follow her cars fly ridiculously fast up and down there and round a blind bend at the bottom of it too.
Anyway she saw me at the window and started the whole chav act of "What the f
k are you looking at, fking nosy fking bh". I just shook my head, her son is probably about to go to school and swear at all the other children.
Now however I'm not sure what to do, she obviously can't handle parenthood whatsoever and this behaviour will be seriously affecting the child. And if she's that physical with him outdoors, what might she be behind closed doors? I have a feeling it might be the same child whose dad I've seen bringing him back from school with a can of beer/cider in one hand every time.
Do I call social services? though I don't know any names and it might be quite obvious that it was me who called. In a way, without sounding extremely patronizing I spent a long time in childcare and kind of want to help her. All she needs to do is treat the poor child like a human, she'd probably say "he's so naughty"...Hmm I wonder where he gets it from. But I am a bit worried about him, she seems like someone with a temper that could easily be pushed into doing something much more hurtful. What would you do?
Anyway she saw me at the window and started the whole chav act of "What the f
k are you looking at, fking nosy fking bh". I just shook my head, her son is probably about to go to school and swear at all the other children.Now however I'm not sure what to do, she obviously can't handle parenthood whatsoever and this behaviour will be seriously affecting the child. And if she's that physical with him outdoors, what might she be behind closed doors? I have a feeling it might be the same child whose dad I've seen bringing him back from school with a can of beer/cider in one hand every time.
Do I call social services? though I don't know any names and it might be quite obvious that it was me who called. In a way, without sounding extremely patronizing I spent a long time in childcare and kind of want to help her. All she needs to do is treat the poor child like a human, she'd probably say "he's so naughty"...Hmm I wonder where he gets it from. But I am a bit worried about him, she seems like someone with a temper that could easily be pushed into doing something much more hurtful. What would you do?
Thing I worry about is, social services will go there. Look around, ask questions and unless she's living in a disgusting place/the child has marks bruises they won't do anything. She clearly needs some hands on help, and to go to some anger management classes. God I sound so patronizing but these are the times when I think some people really don't deserve children, and for the childs own welfare should be placed with a family who actually give a st.
ETA: I was worried about calling SS because she knows where I live. I really don't want any chav scum hassling me..
t.ETA: I was worried about calling SS because she knows where I live. I really don't want any chav scum hassling me..
Edited by Cas_P on Friday 11th June 09:18
If they get involved, the minimum they will do is write a report, of which the parent will get a copy.
If the parent is anything other than a complete selfish moron they will read the report and feel appalled at themselves.
Hopefully it will sort itself out for the child's sake.
You need a licence to own a gun, drive a car or motorbike, fly a plane or helicopter, recieve the BBC or even own a sprinkler. They will however let any sort of have a child.
If the parent is anything other than a complete selfish moron they will read the report and feel appalled at themselves.
Hopefully it will sort itself out for the child's sake.
You need a licence to own a gun, drive a car or motorbike, fly a plane or helicopter, recieve the BBC or even own a sprinkler. They will however let any sort of
have a child.Plotloss said:
You need a licence to own a gun, drive a car or motorbike, fly a plane or helicopter, recieve the BBC or even own a sprinkler. They will however let any sort of have a child.
Exactly, I think parenting lessons should be mandatory for those clearly need it. Or, fit all chavs with a coil and put a padlock on it... have a child."She is obviously not fit for parenthood"
That's a fantastic level of insight you have gained from this one incident, that isn't even doing anything illegal (bad judgement, sure, but not criminal).
I am sorry, but it's people like you who are bringing us ever closer to the orwellian state, where even our own children will soon be telling on us to the police, for having too much emotion.
fk, should have reported my dad for smacking me when i nicked his whole month's salary as a kid. If only the social services intervened at that point, I might have never had to deal with the emotional trauma that comes with the punishment when you are doing something very wrong.
That's a fantastic level of insight you have gained from this one incident, that isn't even doing anything illegal (bad judgement, sure, but not criminal).
I am sorry, but it's people like you who are bringing us ever closer to the orwellian state, where even our own children will soon be telling on us to the police, for having too much emotion.
f
k, should have reported my dad for smacking me when i nicked his whole month's salary as a kid. If only the social services intervened at that point, I might have never had to deal with the emotional trauma that comes with the punishment when you are doing something very wrong.isee said:
"She is obviously not fit for parenthood"
That's a fantastic level of insight you have gained from this one incident, that isn't even doing anything illegal (bad judgement, sure, but not criminal).
I am sorry, but it's people like you who are bringing us ever closer to the orwellian state, where even our own children will soon be telling on us to the police, for having too much emotion.
fk, should have reported my dad for smacking me when i nicked his whole month's salary as a kid. If only the social services intervened at that point, I might have never had to deal with the emotional trauma that comes with the punishment when you are doing something very wrong.
Read my post again, it's not one incident. It's every day, for the past 10 or so months since schools started back. And i'm pretty sure grabbing, shaking and pushing a child IS illegal. I completely understand that children sometimes need a good telling off or a smack. I think you have misunderstood me for someone who doesn't understand this. However this is EVERY SINGLE DAY that she is screaming, shouting, grabbing and swearing at this child. And every time his father brings him home he sways as he walks, quite clearly an alcoholic with 1 can of beer/cider in one hand, hardly even watching the child. Do you still think she deserves to be a parent?That's a fantastic level of insight you have gained from this one incident, that isn't even doing anything illegal (bad judgement, sure, but not criminal).
I am sorry, but it's people like you who are bringing us ever closer to the orwellian state, where even our own children will soon be telling on us to the police, for having too much emotion.
f
k, should have reported my dad for smacking me when i nicked his whole month's salary as a kid. If only the social services intervened at that point, I might have never had to deal with the emotional trauma that comes with the punishment when you are doing something very wrong.Being stuck in an ex council house (bought as a first-rung kinda property, then stuck here due to economic crisis) I see this stuff day-in, day-out, from any resident that happens to be out and about with their child. Social services are unlikely to do much, if anything, because they have some strange policy that prohibits them from interfering until it is too late. And the sheer number of parents that are like the one you describe is astonishingly high and unmanageable.
So, in short, I don't know what you can do, or if there is anything you even can do.
So, in short, I don't know what you can do, or if there is anything you even can do.
If that is the case, then my apologies. I am just sick and tired of people overreacting at other parents (and I am not even a parent myself). Everyone but the child's parent seem to become an expert at parenting and patience in those kinds of posts.
If that is a regular occurence and not just momentary lapse of patience and judgement, then fair enough.
If that is a regular occurence and not just momentary lapse of patience and judgement, then fair enough.
andyroo said:
Being stuck in an ex council house (bought as a first-rung kinda property, then stuck here due to economic crisis) I see this stuff day-in, day-out, from any resident that happens to be out and about with their child. Social services are unlikely to do much, if anything, because they have some strange policy that prohibits them from interfering until it is too late. And the sheer number of parents that are like the one you describe is astonishingly high and unmanageable.
So, in short, I don't know what you can do, or if there is anything you even can do.
I know, it's a shame. I called them and they said unless I can get her address they can't do anything, even though I've given them an exact 15 minute time frame and place they could see her doing this for themselves, that's because it is every single day that you hear her screaming her way from the top of the road to the bottom and the child crying. So, in short, I don't know what you can do, or if there is anything you even can do.
As I said above I do not judge people on one incident of shouting at a child, if I did I'd have to call myself a bad parent! Nor am I going to say I never shout at Jakob or get pushed beyond my patience and give him a tap on the hand. But this is quite clearly a case of someone with real temper problems and when it's every single day you have to realise there will be some long term damage to that child.
isee said:
If that is the case, then my apologies. I am just sick and tired of people overreacting at other parents (and I am not even a parent myself). Everyone but the child's parent seem to become an expert at parenting and patience in those kinds of posts.
If that is a regular occurence and not just momentary lapse of patience and judgement, then fair enough.
I think you must be fortunate not to have seen this kind of 'parent,' and I envy you for it. It's got to be seen to believed. And the worse part is that it's people like this that end up having 5+ kids...If that is a regular occurence and not just momentary lapse of patience and judgement, then fair enough.
isee said:
If that is the case, then my apologies. I am just sick and tired of people overreacting at other parents (and I am not even a parent myself). Everyone but the child's parent seem to become an expert at parenting and patience in those kinds of posts.
If that is a regular occurence and not just momentary lapse of patience and judgement, then fair enough.
Oh I get sick of it too trust me, if I ever tell Jakob off in public I get the worst looks and it's really frustrating! It's people like that, that make me want to just let him get away with some things just to avoid the judgement, although I'm lucky and he's generally very well behaved If that is a regular occurence and not just momentary lapse of patience and judgement, then fair enough.
.Plotloss said:
You need a licence to own a gun, drive a car or motorbike, fly a plane or helicopter, recieve the BBC or even own a sprinkler. They will however let any sort of have a child.
As I read that, for a brief moment, I thought you were suggesting getting a gun, driving by, nailing the b have a child.h, escaping by plane or helicopter and it being shown on the BBC. The sprinkler threw me
JuniorD said:
Plotloss said:
You need a licence to own a gun, drive a car or motorbike, fly a plane or helicopter, recieve the BBC or even own a sprinkler. They will however let any sort of have a child.
As I read that, for a brief moment, I thought you were suggesting getting a gun, driving by, nailing the b have a child.h, escaping by plane or helicopter and it being shown on the BBC. The sprinkler threw me
What would you be reporting exactly?
There's a naughty st kid on my street and its mother is a bit of a ropey shouty bh?
There's no doubt plenty of people who know the facts far better than you and are in a position to assess whether the situation is worth reporting.
If you report it, social sevices might throw resources at it at the expense of potentially more urgent cases etc.
There's a naughty s
t kid on my street and its mother is a bit of a ropey shouty bh?There's no doubt plenty of people who know the facts far better than you and are in a position to assess whether the situation is worth reporting.
If you report it, social sevices might throw resources at it at the expense of potentially more urgent cases etc.
blindswelledrat said:
There's no doubt plenty of people who know the facts far better than you and are in a position to assess whether the situation is worth reporting.
What a sort of preamble to the social services? And who might they be? And surely that is exactly what the OP is doing anyway by asking around instead of just reporting it?andyroo said:
blindswelledrat said:
There's no doubt plenty of people who know the facts far better than you and are in a position to assess whether the situation is worth reporting.
What a sort of preamble to the social services? And who might they be? And surely that is exactly what the OP is doing anyway by asking around instead of just reporting it?You think the OP posing a question without any facts onto the internet is "asking around"/investigating?
Really?
Have you not thought about looking to see what school the child goes to...and then approaching the school.
Every school has a Child Protection Officer, who can then approach the suitable authorities and hopefully deal with the matter.
If things are that bad, the school is likely to already now this, but possibly needs more evidence to support their case.
It's worth a try....
(And it does work, as we had exactly this happen at the school I work with )
Every school has a Child Protection Officer, who can then approach the suitable authorities and hopefully deal with the matter.
If things are that bad, the school is likely to already now this, but possibly needs more evidence to support their case.
It's worth a try....
(And it does work, as we had exactly this happen at the school I work with )
blindswelledrat said:
andyroo said:
blindswelledrat said:
There's no doubt plenty of people who know the facts far better than you and are in a position to assess whether the situation is worth reporting.
What a sort of preamble to the social services? And who might they be? And surely that is exactly what the OP is doing anyway by asking around instead of just reporting it?You think the OP posing a question without any facts onto the internet is "asking around"/investigating?
Really?
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