Been asked to become a godfather

[isee]

To the daughter of a female friend who I haven't seen for 3 years.
we were good friends 10 years or so back when we were still students/kids with no responsibilites, but growing up has really separated us. in fact I didn't even know that she had a second baby until I was invited to her christening.

I can't say I would come to her aid no matter what, should she fall on hard times either. I will try, sure, but I wouldn't try as hard as if it was my sister or a mate, whom I see more regularly.

I appreciate the gesture and welcome her attempt to restart a closer friendship, so am tempted to say "yes". At the same time however, it feels like the godfather should be someone who could relistically replace the biological father should the said biological father perish or something.

What's PH's opinion on this subject?

[Muzzer]

Any ideas why she's chosen you?

Does she not have any other close friends she can call on?

It does seem a little odd. If you're not comfortable with it, speak to her (don't text or e-mail) and say you are very honoured and a bit surprised as you've both been busy and not seen much of each other.

Let the conversation develop from there.

[isee]

that makes sense. Haven't even got her phone number

[mike325112]

The child isn't 3 years old is it?


Editted to change the random smiley I originally had ....

Edited by mike325112 on Wednesday 23 June 14:13

[spidermanUK]

Baring in mind that a Godfather's principal duty is to ensure the child's spiritual upbringing, simply tell your friend that you aren't religious enough.

Assuming of course that you weren't students at theological college and are now both Archbishops!

[anonymous-user]

It all depends on how the parents view your role as godfather.

Some people don't attach much importance to it, it's just a tradition.

To others it's hugely important and you will be vilified for forgetting birthdays etc. You might even be responsible for your godchild's religious upbringing (that's how the church views the role).

[GTIR]

mike325112 said:

The child isn't 3 years old is it?

Around two years old I think you mean!

[Tiggsy]

Have you any idea what a godfather role is? You seem to be referring to the role of guardian as may (should) be noted in a Will. VERY different thing.

Personally i would NEVER be a godparent as i don't believe in god and the primary role is to ensure/help with the child being raised in that way.

[isee]

I view Godfather's role as the next in line to to take care of the child after the immediate family is rendered incapable of doing so.

The religious upbringing makes more sense though, now that it has been mentioned, but either way. I didn't even know the child's name until yesterday or that the child existed. So it really doesn't matter how I view the role since I am currently incapable of carrying it out whatever it maybe.

I have served in Chruch, though I don't think my friend is aware of it and wouldn't want to be responsible for the child's spiritual or any education. Apart from maybe explaining to her what a load of bks "equal opportunity" idea is and how the wolrd really works. Though doubt her mother would approve of my view.

So I guess I better pass up this offer and just attend as a friend, offering to meet up more often.

[isee]

GTIR said:

mike325112 said:

The child isn't 3 years old is it?

Around two years old I think you mean!

Nah, definitely not mine. Though not through a lack of trying some 10 years ago

[Miguel Alvarez]

Maybe she realises the actual dad is a deadbeat and wants to replace him with you.

[MEATANDCHEESE]

Nah, That seems really odd to me.

I would only expect my best friend to ask for something like that.

"Run Away!"

[shirt]

godparent doesn't mean a thing these days. do you honestly think if the parents die then their relatives will give up all claim to the kid and expect you to raise it?

[Neil H]

shirt said:

godparent doesn't mean a thing these days. do you honestly think if the parents die then their relatives will give up all claim to the kid and expect you to raise it?

Agreed, maybe she just respects you and wants you to be a role model for her kid(s), rather than expecting you to adopt them if she croaks.

[Tiggsy]

Keep seeing this confusion between guardian and godparent.....a godparent is NOTHING to do with raising orphans!

EVERY PARENT should have a Will and nominated guardians. Every believer in white bearded men in the clouds should have a godparent.

[dirty doug]

I think the quick answer is she misses your friendship & wants to build some bridges between the two of you.

If you value her previous/future friendship, say yes.

HTH

[NDA]

She (the mother) obviously respects you a great deal. You either reciprocate and accept, or decline.

[Emeye]

A friend of mine has recently been here. A group of us used to hang around quite a few years back (mainly getting pissed together) - then one of us completely disappeared off the scene when he met this psychotic bird. We didn't see him once in about 3 years, even his brother who is one of my best mates hardly ever saw him! Anyways, next thing we hear they are having a baby and he asks one of our mates to be the godfather. He just told him straight that he didn't think it was right him doing it when he never made any effort with him or his mates any more.

i.e. Honesty is the best policy!

[Harry Flashman]

isee said:

At the same time however, it feels like the godfather should be someone who could relistically replace the biological father should the said biological father perish or something.

If this is the case, I'm in clover if my chum dies. His wife, and the mother of my godson, is hot.

[Tiggsy]

It's not the case....nothing like the case. Sorry!