your girlfriend was NOT invited

[chili09lewis]

a close friend of mine has been dating a girl for a few months that has the personality of a wet flannel. she says nothing, does nothing, just stands there clinging onto him whenever he comes to any occasion such as a night down the pub. i mean this is a guy who was allways a good laugh to go out with, was more than capable of holding everyones attention with interesting stories etc, but now he wont go anywhere without her and has changed dramatically. for example..when shes there he ignores everyone else.. and when shes not there.. he spends the evening on the phone to her.
so here lies the problem, im hosting a party soon and invited him on the understanding it wud be him alone that comes so he could enjoy the night with his mates drinking beer and talking rubbish. but he now insists that she comes too!
normally i would just say sure why not.. but because i despise her company (and his company infact when hes with her) and find it slighly rude that he persumes she can just come along too, makes me want to say fk you both.
any suggestions to the best way of approaching this one?
and any one else got any stories of deluded mates and their girlfriends

Edited by chili09lewis on Tuesday 3rd August 10:29

[okgo]

Grow up.

[Doofus]

He really likes her.
She's really shy.
He's trying to bring her out of herself a bit, by introducing her to his mates and showing her she's an important part of his life.
You're acting like a thoughtless cock.

HTH

[Sisyphus]

Ahh, do you miss him lots?

[Flintstone]

Nope. You're stuffed.

Is he that good a mate that you prepared to risk losing out if you insist on 'her or us'? You'll lose because she's a better shag and gives better blow jobs than you do.

[Sunglasses Ron]

Could you not make arrangments for an abduction to happen on the night in question?

[Jag-D]

As a friend, shouldn't you be truthful, but yet still supportive of his situation?

[Dangerous Dan]

This party... couples coming or is it strictly "guys only"?

If it's couples then let them. Heck, a more private social setting (i.e. a party) may bring the bird out of her shell. She's probably just shy etc etc.

[Flintstone]

Not the responses the OP was expecting methinks

[JuniorD]

Don't know why you bothered to invite him when you already know that even without her he "he spends the evening on the phone to her". I suggest that you uninvite both of them. Or tell them that the party is now fancy dress and the theme is pork based products or the Crusades. Tell him also that the venue has changed. Give them a different address; ideally to that of a venue where a firebrand fundamentalist muslim cleric is giving a speech.

[Ikemi]

Have you done your upmost to include her in conversations? Have to tried to steer conversation onto a topic that relates to one of her hobbies or interests to help her become more comfortable around you and your friends?

It sounds as if she is really shy and I have mates who have had girlfriends that were similar ... However doing your best to talk about one of her interests might just bring her out of her shell and that one small conversation will build her confidence when talking to you and her boyfriend's extended friends.

Alternatively, she hates you and she disagrees with her boyfriend hanging around with you

I have also lost a best mate because of his girlfriend. He became infatuated with her, wouldn't spend anytime with any of his friends or away from her side and the same still applies today ... I haven't spoken to him in over 3 years

Edited by Ikemi on Monday 2nd August 20:14

[mitzy]

You can tell School's out cant you

[chili09lewis]

Flintstone said:

Not the responses the OP was expecting methinks

haha actually its opened my eyes a abit! i gues im more liekly to lose him as a mate if i say no. girlfriends come and go as they say

[Ferg]

Flintstone said:

You'll lose because she's a better shag and gives better blow jobs than you do.

You don't KNOW this.

[JuniorD]

What does she look like? Is she on facebook? Is he on facebook? Are you on facebook? Are you friends on facebook? Why not 'unfriend' them on facebook? LOLLERS etc.

[Ikemi]

mitzy said:

You can tell School's out cant you

Yeah, but isn't life wonderful when all you have to worry about is who you invite to your latest ps-up! If the OP is anything like I was during Sixth Form, there was always a few parties to attend every weekend!

Edited because I'm butchering the Queen's English tonight ...

Edited by Ikemi on Monday 2nd August 20:18

[omgus]

It's your party, you can tell anyone they are not invited, but be warned you may very well not speak to your mate again until the relationship is over.
A friend of mine recently separated himself from the group because we finally fell out with his OH. She might be a bh an she might be a personality black hole and she started a huge argument because of her insecurities but he has sided with her and will no longer speak to us.
You have to decide whether his company is worth her being there, or just wait for the inevitable fall out/sulk that will come when you say she is not welcome in your house.
For the record, I know my mate will always be my mate, but I also know he won't talk to me while he is still with his current OH.

[mikeyr]

Maybe he just decided she was a better lay than you. You don't half sound like a jilted lover!

Edited by mikeyr on Monday 2nd August 20:57

[Rocksteadyeddie]

It's your party, and you can cry if you want to...

[Viperzs]

I can see exactly where you're coming with this!

HAd a VERY similar experience with one of my flatmates. Lived with him for 2 years. He got with a lass that moved in at the start of 3rd year and we never saw him again. Was just locked in his room with the mrs. He wouldn't let her leave. If she wanted a drink he would get it. Or, she would come into the kitchen, closely followed by him.

They broke up after nearly a year and we got to know the lass more as we could actually speak to her. Lovely lass! He tried to be mates with us again and has since got a new girlfriend and it has all started again....