Drugs/Crime problem (not mine!)
Poll: Drugs/Crime problem (not mine!)
Total Members Polled: 46
Discussion
My brother-in-law is an utter nightmare - a proper black sheep of the family so to speak. Personally I think he's an utter **** and I really want nothing whatsoever to do with him - period!
I'm not going to go in to the ins and outs of what we have just found out, but he has a long history of drugs, including some dealing.
However more recently, despite him becoming more distant from the family, we have found out he was in major trouble with the police. We had found out he was on a final order to appear in court, failure of which would lead to a warrant being issued. We hear nothing further, and are wondering what's gone on, when tonight my wife catches up with his mate (his mate is a very good lad, completely straight, but apparently sees past the brother-in-law's issues).
We find out the full range of charges (far more than just dealing and it's really not good), however also find out that his 'boss' has got a top-notch brief for him. All of a sudden (prior to the brief getting on the scene) he's released, no charges and walks away.
Now, our issue (for my wife really) is that we know these facts. The mother-in-law frets constantly, and despite knowing what this lad is like, still fusses over him, thinks the sun shines from his rear, and won't cut ties despite the things that he does. She's desperate to hear from him at the moment, and to know what he's been in to.
We now know via his mate. I say we can't tell the mother-in-law everything, otherwise even if we tell her not to say what we know, we know she will - consequently shafting the mate. I vote for a cover story to be able to tell her the charges are dropped but we know via another source (friends in the Police or something). It's tough to know what to do for the best - help please...
(personally I'd go for nuking from orbit, but thought it wasn't too practical!)
I'm not going to go in to the ins and outs of what we have just found out, but he has a long history of drugs, including some dealing.
However more recently, despite him becoming more distant from the family, we have found out he was in major trouble with the police. We had found out he was on a final order to appear in court, failure of which would lead to a warrant being issued. We hear nothing further, and are wondering what's gone on, when tonight my wife catches up with his mate (his mate is a very good lad, completely straight, but apparently sees past the brother-in-law's issues).
We find out the full range of charges (far more than just dealing and it's really not good), however also find out that his 'boss' has got a top-notch brief for him. All of a sudden (prior to the brief getting on the scene) he's released, no charges and walks away.
Now, our issue (for my wife really) is that we know these facts. The mother-in-law frets constantly, and despite knowing what this lad is like, still fusses over him, thinks the sun shines from his rear, and won't cut ties despite the things that he does. She's desperate to hear from him at the moment, and to know what he's been in to.
We now know via his mate. I say we can't tell the mother-in-law everything, otherwise even if we tell her not to say what we know, we know she will - consequently shafting the mate. I vote for a cover story to be able to tell her the charges are dropped but we know via another source (friends in the Police or something). It's tough to know what to do for the best - help please...
(personally I'd go for nuking from orbit, but thought it wasn't too practical!)
I know what you mean, but unfortunately on this occasion, telling the truth will screw the innocent mate which just isn't fair. We can sit on the facts quite happily, but the m-i-l just won't and will land us all in it in terms of stitching the mate up.
When I suggested averting a bit of the truth, I was referring to how we came about the information, so as to 'protect' the mate.
When I suggested averting a bit of the truth, I was referring to how we came about the information, so as to 'protect' the mate.
Don't say anything, as then in the future should he disappear and you are genuinely concerned for him you'll either not be able to find out or the mate wont be willing to tell you.
The problem is between your MIL and BIL and if you get involved it has the potential for your OH to have a falling out with her mother.
The problem is between your MIL and BIL and if you get involved it has the potential for your OH to have a falling out with her mother.
Either tell all or keep schtum; if you give the abridged version that will only lead to further questioning.
Unless you're really worried that the mate is the only source (and hence your fear he will be 'dropped in it') I would tell all, as said easier to just get it all out of the way and not lie.
Unless you're really worried that the mate is the only source (and hence your fear he will be 'dropped in it') I would tell all, as said easier to just get it all out of the way and not lie.
Silent1 said:
Don't say anything, as then in the future should he disappear and you are genuinely concerned for him you'll either not be able to find out or the mate wont be willing to tell you.
The problem is between your MIL and BIL and if you get involved it has the potential for your OH to have a falling out with her mother.
^^^ This.The problem is between your MIL and BIL and if you get involved it has the potential for your OH to have a falling out with her mother.
Silent1 said:
Don't say anything, as then in the future should he disappear and you are genuinely concerned for him you'll either not be able to find out or the mate wont be willing to tell you.
The problem is between your MIL and BIL and if you get involved it has the potential for your OH to have a falling out with her mother.
The problem is between your MIL and BIL and if you get involved it has the potential for your OH to have a falling out with her mother.
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