How'd you keep grounded when your parents/old life are dead?

[glazbagun]

Last year was a pretty crap and stressful one for me- living in Brum, away from where I grew up & only popping back for the odd few days, moving flat three times in a year whilst my property in Scotland got flooded and brought insurance woes, etc. Then a summer job in London where the pace of life is fun but stresfull in its own way.

This week I've been showing a friend around the places I grew up- old villiages/pubs/scenic places I havent been to since I was a kid, staying up getting drunk with my parents, etc... Despite being thoroughly enjoyable, it's shown a mirror up to myself and my current attitudes/ambitions compared to how humble and (for lack of better words) noble, philisophical and halfway decent I was before I had a shedload of other influences.

It's been a beneficial experience, but I really don't think it'd have had half of the impact if I wasn't able to go back to the home I grew up in & generally remember where I came from. I was just curious as to what I can expect to happen in 20+ years, when my family are mostly dead & I have a career/family/life of my own with no reason to return. Do people inevitably become their jobs/peers/new life, or is it possible to hang on to the things you liked about yourself regardless of the company you keep in future?

[becksW]

Yes I believe you can, my parents were a big influence on me, taught me independence, think for myself, don't be lead on etc but also respect others (when approropriate!)be responsible (most of the time, they also taught me how to get drunk ) as a result I don't think I have changed character since moving away just confidence in my abilities.

[WhoseGeneration]

By being yourself.
If you know yourself.
Which is the problem.
Is yourself internal or only that reflected by others?

[NDA]

glazbagun said:

It's been a beneficial experience, but I really don't think it'd have had half of the impact if I wasn't able to go back to the home I grew up in & generally remember where I came from. I was just curious as to what I can expect to happen in 20+ years, when my family are mostly dead & I have a career/family/life of my own with no reason to return. Do people inevitably become their jobs/peers/new life, or is it possible to hang on to the things you liked about yourself regardless of the company you keep in future?

It depends, to a large extent, on how happy your childhood was. Some are happy to move away and forget - their 'new life' being a constant joy in comparison to their old one as a child.

In terms of your essential characteristics, I don't think those change.