Has anyone ever...
Discussion
(At the risk of getting rumbled for even posting this)
...tapped into their OH's email/social networking pages etc etc??
It's not a jealousy thing i assure you, just that i have seen an opinion relevant to something happening in our lives right now that i strongly disagree with and it has, truth be known, f
ked me right off and so i would like to discuss.
At the minute I can't see any way to approach the subject other than coming right out with it and where i may have seen said comments. We are not the type to hide stuff from each other but on this occasion it's not something that's been mentioned as a matter of concern, but clearly is.
Bearing in mind this is Pistonheads, any sensible advice to give?!
...tapped into their OH's email/social networking pages etc etc??
It's not a jealousy thing i assure you, just that i have seen an opinion relevant to something happening in our lives right now that i strongly disagree with and it has, truth be known, f
ked me right off and so i would like to discuss.At the minute I can't see any way to approach the subject other than coming right out with it and where i may have seen said comments. We are not the type to hide stuff from each other but on this occasion it's not something that's been mentioned as a matter of concern, but clearly is.
Bearing in mind this is Pistonheads, any sensible advice to give?!
Bearing in mind this is The Lounge... you probably won't get any!
Who's she been flirting with/meeting in private/shagging?
I only wish I could given you some sensible advice, but I'm dealing with the fallout from a similar situation.
Edited by 5potTurbo on Thursday 2nd September 14:51
Who's she been flirting with/meeting in private/shagging?
I only wish I could given you some sensible advice, but I'm dealing with the fallout from a similar situation.
Edited by 5potTurbo on Thursday 2nd September 14:52
Baldy881 said:
(At the risk of getting rumbled for even posting this)
...tapped into their OH's email/social networking pages etc etc??
It's not a jealousy thing i assure you, just that i have seen an opinion relevant to something happening in our lives right now that i strongly disagree with and it has, truth be known, fked me right off and so i would like to discuss.
At the minute I can't see any way to approach the subject other than coming right out with it and where i may have seen said comments. We are not the type to hide stuff from each other but on this occasion it's not something that's been mentioned as a matter of concern, but clearly is.
Bearing in mind this is Pistonheads, any sensible advice to give?!
Aww, that's nice, you won't be able to let it rest, and then you'll mention it to her. The trust will then be broken in your relationship, things will never be the same again, and in no time at all you'll find yourself posting in the match.com thread ...tapped into their OH's email/social networking pages etc etc??
It's not a jealousy thing i assure you, just that i have seen an opinion relevant to something happening in our lives right now that i strongly disagree with and it has, truth be known, f
ked me right off and so i would like to discuss.At the minute I can't see any way to approach the subject other than coming right out with it and where i may have seen said comments. We are not the type to hide stuff from each other but on this occasion it's not something that's been mentioned as a matter of concern, but clearly is.
Bearing in mind this is Pistonheads, any sensible advice to give?!
I don't really want to elaborate as you never know who's watching eh 
but it's really nothing to do with cheating or the like, just sometimes i think she doesn't tell me everything and an occasional forage into 'available resources' can help me understand yanno? On this occasion however it has pissed me off more than make me understand.
ETA - i don't mean she doesn't tell me everything, i mean she probably finds it difficult to tell me how she feels about somethings at the concern of upsetting me - however, i am the type (and she knows this) who would rather just have it all said to me rather than her telling her mates who do not understand the situation fully!
but it's really nothing to do with cheating or the like, just sometimes i think she doesn't tell me everything and an occasional forage into 'available resources' can help me understand yanno? On this occasion however it has pissed me off more than make me understand. ETA - i don't mean she doesn't tell me everything, i mean she probably finds it difficult to tell me how she feels about somethings at the concern of upsetting me - however, i am the type (and she knows this) who would rather just have it all said to me rather than her telling her mates who do not understand the situation fully!
Edited by Baldy881 on Thursday 2nd September 14:59
So, when youre at the pub with your best mate having a mates chat that you know will go no further, you never let slip a few niggles or bhes about the Missus or her family or money etc etc? Never? Has a mate not ever said "Youre best off without her mate, get rid"?
And what would your missus say if she knew what was said when with your mate, speaking in confidence?
If youre dumb enough to research your bird's private conversations, youre find out stuff youre not keen on.
Let it through to the keeper. Its not worth it.
hes about the Missus or her family or money etc etc? Never? Has a mate not ever said "Youre best off without her mate, get rid"?And what would your missus say if she knew what was said when with your mate, speaking in confidence?
If youre dumb enough to research your bird's private conversations, youre find out stuff youre not keen on.
Let it through to the keeper. Its not worth it.
Edited by 308mate on Thursday 2nd September 14:59
hmm. 'coming right out with it' will pretty much guarantee an argument about privacy. surely? Whatever the thing is about, you wont get to discuss it. I would think she'll be quite annoyed.
re: the thing. even without knowing even which area its in I would be careful abut how you react. people write things on social networking sites for all sorts of reasons - I have posted the entire opposite of my own opinion on something before to try and get response and info from people...i have misread the tone of things and even misread them completely.....
Assuming its some sort of personal subject (lets go for 'having kids') you just need to generate a normal conversation around said area and then get into the specifics without arousing suspicion. you win. (well depending on how subsequent discussion goes)
re: the thing. even without knowing even which area its in I would be careful abut how you react. people write things on social networking sites for all sorts of reasons - I have posted the entire opposite of my own opinion on something before to try and get response and info from people...i have misread the tone of things and even misread them completely.....
Assuming its some sort of personal subject (lets go for 'having kids') you just need to generate a normal conversation around said area and then get into the specifics without arousing suspicion. you win. (well depending on how subsequent discussion goes)
Baldy881 said:
At the minute I can't see any way to approach the subject other than coming right out with it and where i may have seen said comments.
Well it seems that all you need is another way of bringing it up. You've been very vague about what the issue is and how you heard so I can only give a vague suggestion, but you just need to be cunning about it and manipulate her into directly confirming to you whatever it is that's got you riled up - that way you can confront it without your o/h ever knowing that you're basically spying on her and prying into her st.Sounds sleazy...because it is. But it's the solution to your problem.
Nightmare said:
Assuming its some sort of personal subject (lets go for 'having kids') you just need to generate a normal conversation around said area and then get into the specifics without arousing suspicion. you win. (well depending on how subsequent discussion goes)
You're close, but the subject really is irrelevant. You've got the right idea though. That's the end game i would like, chat about general subject leading into specifics, however, considering the comments made, i don't see my way into the specific details.I also wont dwell on it for ages, few lagers and sleeps and it will become old news that i give glancing thoughts too. But it will piss me off and hurt me knowing that she is concerned and possibly hurting about something that she doesn't feel she can tell me. All at a time when we don't really need it.
Funnily enough, i have the same concerns the other way round which is why i REALLY want to get it out in the open. Seems we're both concerned about that same thing, but it's 'easier' for me to deal with lets say.
So, she tells you 'It doesn't matter, size isn't important, and besides, I'm just not orgasmic anyway, I've never had one with anyone else either'
Then emails her girlfriends and says 'He is just st. I need a damn good rodding like you wouldn't believe. I do love peanut boy, but you know...'
Hmm. I see the problem.
Then emails her girlfriends and says 'He is just s
t. I need a damn good rodding like you wouldn't believe. I do love peanut boy, but you know...'Hmm. I see the problem.
Justayellowbadge said:
So, she tells you 'It doesn't matter, size isn't important, and besides, I'm just not orgasmic anyway, I've never had one with anyone else either'
Then emails her girlfriends and says 'He is just st. I need a damn good rodding like you wouldn't believe. I do love peanut boy, but you know...'
Hmm. I see the problem.
laugh:Then emails her girlfriends and says 'He is just s
t. I need a damn good rodding like you wouldn't believe. I do love peanut boy, but you know...'Hmm. I see the problem.
Baldy881 said:
But it will piss me off and hurt me knowing that she is concerned and possibly hurting about something that she doesn't feel she can tell me. All at a time when we don't really need it.
Funnily enough, i have the same concerns the other way round which is why i REALLY want to get it out in the open. Seems we're both concerned about that same thing, but it's 'easier' for me to deal with lets say.
reading what you've said..Funnily enough, i have the same concerns the other way round which is why i REALLY want to get it out in the open. Seems we're both concerned about that same thing, but it's 'easier' for me to deal with lets say.
"i dont like the fact she hasnt felt she can ask me about this"
"I have concerns I havent told her"
you see what Im getting at?
Dont for one second think that just cos there's a subject she has aired in the land of total no consequence that it has ANYTHING to do with you or your relationship. Thats one damn good reason she has done it - you can air possible opinions, thoughts and ask questions without it actually having an impact. rather like you're doing with pistonheads. One doubts you'll be sending her this link
Seeing as you have said you have concerns around same subject the why cant you just raise it by saying "Hi darling, I have something I really wanna talk about. I dot think its a big deal but Id really like to discuss it with you" or similar? (in my house it's "biatch, get yo ass over here and listen to my words") often followed by the sound of breaking ribs
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