The best day followed by what was nearly the worst
Discussion
Sorry for the long post, some may not care but I thought I would share a little part of my life that's seen great sadness but greater happiness.
Its been exactly a month today since what was the best day of my life, the birth of our much wanted son. It seems a fitting time to share the events but a little history first.
My wife had two miscarriages within 8 months, both were strange and very dragged out and certainly not a straight miscarriages, what with other complications, there was a time where we both believed that we would never be able to have our own children.
Fast forward to December 09 and she fell pregnant for the third time, that day at work I was a mess with feelings of happiness but also dread and worry of the possibility of loosing another.
All was well and we past a point that we have never got too, all the signs were good and the first scan showed a healthy baby. At this point we were so relieved, we began enjoying it and imagining how our lives were soon to change. Then at 21 weeks they saw an "Amniotic band" which can cause huge deformities, including amputations of fingers, hands, arms, legs and even cause death. After shocking support from the NHS we went private to get some reassurance. This worked we where much better informed and happier that the likely hood of it becoming an issue was small.
Through the pregnancy there were a few other issues but nothing major and as each scan came and went the Amniotic band was slowly being pushed out of the way. It was obvious from the feel of the bump and the scans that he was breach, we knew that it was likely as one of the initial complications is that my wife has a bicornate uterus which increases the chance of breach babies. At the last ever scan we were booked in for a C section, the 4th of August, the day before my birthday.
The 4th came and we spent nearly 5 hours nervously waiting around at the hospital, we were then gowned up and on our way to the operating theater. After some time cutting, pushing and pulling our little boy was held over the screen for us to see before he was taken to be assessed, it seemed like an eternity before he cried but it came. A sound that many people would hate was the most satisfying amazing noise. After a minute or so our little man was presented to us and i held him, with a tear in my eye, I looked at his perfect little face and felt the biggest sense of relief, he was finally here, safe and perfect. The rest of the day was great, Baby was doing fine and Mum was on top form and was amazing considering the surgery she had just been through.
I left the hospital a very happy man, that night all was well, I arrived back at hospital the morning of my birthday and the little man was playing up, he was in obvious discomfort and not feeding, the nurses were of little help but assured us there was nothing to worry about. By midday the wife needed to get up and use the loo, the nurses encourage her to do this and to have a wash and freshen up, they took her to the toilets and I sat trying to comfort a very unhappy baby. After some time they bought her back in a wheel chair saying she had started to have some pain, at this point she passed out and appeared to be having some sort of fit, the emergency alarm was hit and to be fair within seconds there was doctors, nurses the works every where.
I was totally helpless to do anything, I had an ill baby in my arms with no idea of what was happening to my wife, I was escorted out by a pediatrician who took me to another room and checked out the little man.
When I returned she was back in bed and awake, turns out they had not been giving her pain killers and had taken her to the toilet and just left her there. For that few minutes in that room I was sure I would loose them both.
After being assessed, she started to improve but it was then time for me to go home. I went home at 10pm happy they were ok but fearful of what might happen in the night. At 11pm my phone rang and it was Nick, she was distraught asking me to go back so i rushed in not knowing what was going on. Turns out our baby had choked on his own sick, Nicky sat up right (not ideal after a c section!) and grabbed him and he coughed it up, 5 mins later and the woman in the bed opposite starts shouting for help, her baby had also choked but had stopped breathing, it was rushed off to resus. I left at about 00:45, having not eaten all day i grabbed some food but struggled to eat anything due to the feeling i had in my stomach.
The next day and both were a little better so i wasted no time getting them home, where they settled in, its now a month on and we are still adjusting and expect we will be for some time.
Both are doing well, he is growing and putting weight on nicely, I was worried that with all the problems, all the build up, having a baby would not meet the expectations, how wrong could i be, every day I see him changing, growing and the beginnings of a personality and could not be happier. Its been hard but the wait and the problems we have been through make him that extra bit special.
Its been exactly a month today since what was the best day of my life, the birth of our much wanted son. It seems a fitting time to share the events but a little history first.
My wife had two miscarriages within 8 months, both were strange and very dragged out and certainly not a straight miscarriages, what with other complications, there was a time where we both believed that we would never be able to have our own children.
Fast forward to December 09 and she fell pregnant for the third time, that day at work I was a mess with feelings of happiness but also dread and worry of the possibility of loosing another.
All was well and we past a point that we have never got too, all the signs were good and the first scan showed a healthy baby. At this point we were so relieved, we began enjoying it and imagining how our lives were soon to change. Then at 21 weeks they saw an "Amniotic band" which can cause huge deformities, including amputations of fingers, hands, arms, legs and even cause death. After shocking support from the NHS we went private to get some reassurance. This worked we where much better informed and happier that the likely hood of it becoming an issue was small.
Through the pregnancy there were a few other issues but nothing major and as each scan came and went the Amniotic band was slowly being pushed out of the way. It was obvious from the feel of the bump and the scans that he was breach, we knew that it was likely as one of the initial complications is that my wife has a bicornate uterus which increases the chance of breach babies. At the last ever scan we were booked in for a C section, the 4th of August, the day before my birthday.
The 4th came and we spent nearly 5 hours nervously waiting around at the hospital, we were then gowned up and on our way to the operating theater. After some time cutting, pushing and pulling our little boy was held over the screen for us to see before he was taken to be assessed, it seemed like an eternity before he cried but it came. A sound that many people would hate was the most satisfying amazing noise. After a minute or so our little man was presented to us and i held him, with a tear in my eye, I looked at his perfect little face and felt the biggest sense of relief, he was finally here, safe and perfect. The rest of the day was great, Baby was doing fine and Mum was on top form and was amazing considering the surgery she had just been through.
I left the hospital a very happy man, that night all was well, I arrived back at hospital the morning of my birthday and the little man was playing up, he was in obvious discomfort and not feeding, the nurses were of little help but assured us there was nothing to worry about. By midday the wife needed to get up and use the loo, the nurses encourage her to do this and to have a wash and freshen up, they took her to the toilets and I sat trying to comfort a very unhappy baby. After some time they bought her back in a wheel chair saying she had started to have some pain, at this point she passed out and appeared to be having some sort of fit, the emergency alarm was hit and to be fair within seconds there was doctors, nurses the works every where.
I was totally helpless to do anything, I had an ill baby in my arms with no idea of what was happening to my wife, I was escorted out by a pediatrician who took me to another room and checked out the little man.
When I returned she was back in bed and awake, turns out they had not been giving her pain killers and had taken her to the toilet and just left her there. For that few minutes in that room I was sure I would loose them both.
After being assessed, she started to improve but it was then time for me to go home. I went home at 10pm happy they were ok but fearful of what might happen in the night. At 11pm my phone rang and it was Nick, she was distraught asking me to go back so i rushed in not knowing what was going on. Turns out our baby had choked on his own sick, Nicky sat up right (not ideal after a c section!) and grabbed him and he coughed it up, 5 mins later and the woman in the bed opposite starts shouting for help, her baby had also choked but had stopped breathing, it was rushed off to resus. I left at about 00:45, having not eaten all day i grabbed some food but struggled to eat anything due to the feeling i had in my stomach.
The next day and both were a little better so i wasted no time getting them home, where they settled in, its now a month on and we are still adjusting and expect we will be for some time.
Both are doing well, he is growing and putting weight on nicely, I was worried that with all the problems, all the build up, having a baby would not meet the expectations, how wrong could i be, every day I see him changing, growing and the beginnings of a personality and could not be happier. Its been hard but the wait and the problems we have been through make him that extra bit special.
We also suffered a miscarriage, a late term one, its a horrible thing to suffer.
Managed to have our Son a couple of years later.
My son, now 11 and safely asleep at my place tonight, decided, when little, that turning blue and having fits would be a suitable way of amusing himself and scaring me and the ex-wife silly. As if turning up two months early was not enough.
The little buggers always find a way to put you through it don't they?
O/P You and your Missus enjoy every minute of it. This is what life's all about.
Managed to have our Son a couple of years later.
My son, now 11 and safely asleep at my place tonight, decided, when little, that turning blue and having fits would be a suitable way of amusing himself and scaring me and the ex-wife silly. As if turning up two months early was not enough.
The little buggers always find a way to put you through it don't they?
O/P You and your Missus enjoy every minute of it. This is what life's all about.
Hope this is appropriate.Hi Op.
Sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your new family suffered, my little girl (second child) was actually born on the 5th of august the day after your son.
Sat here reading your post (with my little girl sleeping on my chest
) and thought back to the 5th and thinking how nervous and worried i was can't imagine what you've been through.
I wish you and your family all the best and congratulations too!.
.
Sorry to hear about the difficulties you and your new family suffered, my little girl (second child) was actually born on the 5th of august the day after your son.
Sat here reading your post (with my little girl sleeping on my chest
) and thought back to the 5th and thinking how nervous and worried i was can't imagine what you've been through.I wish you and your family all the best and congratulations too!.
.
So happy that things are coming good for your family. I hope that other mums baby was ok in the end.
I was lucky and had a mostly smooth pregnancy but we had real problems with our little boy not gaining weight. It was sorted in the end but not before a lot of stress.
They are amazing, the sleepless nights are so worth it
.
Here's to happy families!
I was lucky and had a mostly smooth pregnancy but we had real problems with our little boy not gaining weight. It was sorted in the end but not before a lot of stress.
They are amazing, the sleepless nights are so worth it
. Here's to happy families!
Edited by becksW on Saturday 4th September 23:05
becksW said:
So happy that things are coming good for your family. I hope that other mums baby was ok in the end.
I was lucky and had a mostly smooth pregnancy but we had real problems with our little boy not gaining weight. It was sorted in the end but not before a lot of stress.
They are amazing, the sleepless nights are so worth it.
Here's to happy families!
I'd drink to that!. I was lucky and had a mostly smooth pregnancy but we had real problems with our little boy not gaining weight. It was sorted in the end but not before a lot of stress.
They are amazing, the sleepless nights are so worth it
. Here's to happy families!
Congratulations mate (and to Nicky too). You'll spend the next few months realising just what an awesome gift you have with your son. Sure, there's 12 months or so of hard work but then you'll start getting the tangible rewards (there'll be plenty of intangible ones along the way, don't worry!!).
I lay on the bed with my eldest tonight (nearly 4) and, half-asleep, he turned to me and put his arm around my neck. I *genuinely* struggle to think of a single moment in my life when such a simple act has made me happier. In fact, the birth of both of my boys aside, I'd struggle to think of any act that has made me happier.
You have this to come.
Best of luck, mate. Genuinely very happy for you both.
PS: I say this realising that there's loads of parents on here with teenagers who will be reading this, thinking "just you f
king wait!"... 
I lay on the bed with my eldest tonight (nearly 4) and, half-asleep, he turned to me and put his arm around my neck. I *genuinely* struggle to think of a single moment in my life when such a simple act has made me happier. In fact, the birth of both of my boys aside, I'd struggle to think of any act that has made me happier.
You have this to come.
Best of luck, mate. Genuinely very happy for you both.
PS: I say this realising that there's loads of parents on here with teenagers who will be reading this, thinking "just you f
king wait!"... Thanks everyone for the comments, I hope that our storey may be of some comfort to someone who may be midway through the journey we've had. A little bit of hope and confirmation that yes, these problems are very common, so many people have experience miscarriages but say nothing as it almost seems a taboo subject.
One thing I have kept in mind through everything is that "what does not kill us, makes us stronger"
One thing I have kept in mind through everything is that "what does not kill us, makes us stronger"
Glad to hear you got through a tough time. Having kids is one of those things people take totally for granted but you don't realise what a roller coaster it can be and the potential hazards and pitfalls to the mother and infant.
We had a miscariage first time round, perfect second pregnancy with a protracted and ever so slightly wobbly birth (lazy trace) but we have a beautiful, perfect little girl who's currently asleep in my other arm as I type this. She's 6 1/2 months now and already showing a keen interest in cars
We had a miscariage first time round, perfect second pregnancy with a protracted and ever so slightly wobbly birth (lazy trace) but we have a beautiful, perfect little girl who's currently asleep in my other arm as I type this. She's 6 1/2 months now and already showing a keen interest in cars
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