Had the worst morning of my life today
Discussion
Had the worst morning of my life today. Alarm went off at 5.30am. Great I thought, another 30mins in bed. Rolled over to turn it off as per normal and what do I see? A huge, f*ck off spider in full camouflage gear with a hunting knife tucked in its boots run out from under my pillow. It was literally centimetres from my face. To say I got out of bed quick was an understatment. I almost hit the roof. I requested a room change after work but it was denied. I tore the room apart and couldn't find the brute anywhere. He is the Bear Grylls of the spider world. He is probably outside having a fag and eating a zebra's carcus, waiting for me to fall asleep so he can listen to my Ipod again. It's the only reason I can think it was under my pillow. I fell asleep listening to my ipod. Woke up with the headphones out of my ears and under the pillow. This is a true story by the way. I am never coming back to Qatar again, providing I make it out alive that is.
Edited by Easty-5 on Sunday 5th September 19:41
Edited by Easty-5 on Sunday 5th September 19:47
Camel spider, probably. Nasty brutes, and yes, they do bite. I lived in Oman for a while and remember them well. They don't seem to function very well in the cold, so turn up the aircon unit full blast and when the spider reappears it should be moving slowly enough for you to kill it, if you haven't frozen to death first.
Other thing I remember about that part of the world was cockroaches. Used to spray cockroach killer round the edges of my bedroom, and in the morning there would be half a dozen roaches on the floor with their feet in the air.
Sorry, I'm not helping much, am I?
Other thing I remember about that part of the world was cockroaches. Used to spray cockroach killer round the edges of my bedroom, and in the morning there would be half a dozen roaches on the floor with their feet in the air.
Sorry, I'm not helping much, am I?
Bungleaio said:
musclecarmad said:
must have a good life 
Indeed, I wish the worst thing that had ever happened to me in the morning was seeing a spider.230TE said:
Camel spider, probably. Nasty brutes, and yes, they do bite. I lived in Oman for a while and remember them well. They don't seem to function very well in the cold, so turn up the aircon unit full blast and when the spider reappears it should be moving slowly enough for you to kill it, if you haven't frozen to death first.
Other thing I remember about that part of the world was cockroaches. Used to spray cockroach killer round the edges of my bedroom, and in the morning there would be half a dozen roaches on the floor with their feet in the air.
Sorry, I'm not helping much, am I?
Not really, no. Seriously, you have just really f*cked up my nights sleep.Other thing I remember about that part of the world was cockroaches. Used to spray cockroach killer round the edges of my bedroom, and in the morning there would be half a dozen roaches on the floor with their feet in the air.
Sorry, I'm not helping much, am I?
Easty-5 said:
Had the worst morning of my life today. Alarm went off at 5.30am. Great I thought, another 30mins in bed. Rolled over to turn it off as per normal and what do I see? A huge, f*ck off spider in full camouflage gear with a hunting knife tucked in its boots run out from under my pillow. It was literally centimetres from my face. To say I got out of bed quick was an understatment. I almost hit the roof. I requested a room change after work but it was denied. I tore the room apart and could find the brute anywhere. He is the Bear Grylls of the spider world. He is probably outside having a fag and eating a zebra's carcus, waiting for me to fall asleep so he can listen to my Ipod again. It's the only reason I can think it was under my pillow. I fell asleep listening to my ipod. Woke up with the headphones out of my ears and under the pillow. This is a true story by the way. I am never coming back to Qatar again, providing I make it out alive that is.
Last year we came back from a night out in Dubai, smashed, to find the spider equivalent of Chopper Read on our ceiling, smiling coldly at us and stroking a pair of bolt cutters. After ruling out all other options (which took us an hour), I used an extendable mop and splattered it from the other side of the room. We moved shortly afterwards.Edited by Easty-5 on Sunday 5th September 19:41
PhillT said:
Last year we came back from a night out in Dubai, smashed, to find the spider equivalent of Chopper Read on our ceiling, smiling coldly at us and stroking a pair of bolt cutters. After ruling out all other options (which took us an hour), I used an extendable mop and splattered it from the other side of the room. We moved shortly afterwards.
Fire is the only option in my opinion. Unfortunately the guy in reception refused my request for petrol and matches. 
Jimbeaux said:
Wow. Mine was in 1985; waking up on my third morning in a jungle observation point finding myself pinned down by a coca ranch's roving patrol team. But a giant spider.....damn glad I avoided that. You hang in there, we'll all get through this together.
We don't know man...we weren't thereGTIR said:
They also lay eggs just under your skin, usually behind the ear as it's softer skin. You're fine until they hatch, they sometimes "squeak" when they come out.
Careful.
I woke up at 3am and my right earlobe was in agony. I sh*t you not. I assumed it was because I had fallen asleep with earphones in. Ear wasn't sore when woke up at 5.30 though, and isn't sore now.Careful.
Please, please tell me you were joking. Seriously.
Spent a lot of time in Africa, 3 years in Gabon was the worst for beasties though. Woke up with a lot of scary creatures and the insects where quite bad as well. 
Worst though was a snake in the bed, bloody Gabon Viper, luckily I always pulled the top cover right back before getting in. We stared each out out for a couple of minutes with the little fecker hissing and spitting at me as I backed towards the door and proceeded to run away very fast.
Worst though was a snake in the bed, bloody Gabon Viper, luckily I always pulled the top cover right back before getting in. We stared each out out for a couple of minutes with the little fecker hissing and spitting at me as I backed towards the door and proceeded to run away very fast.
If I see a spider in my house I have to kill it.
Sometimes I will pull off 2 of its legs then throw it out the window as a warning to others.
If, however, I come back with a glass and it's gone then a code red search is initiated.
Hoover in hand I carefully lift up anything it could be hiding under or in and vacuum it.
If the spider is not found then that room is sealed from the outside and never used again.
It's the only way to be sure.
Sometimes I will pull off 2 of its legs then throw it out the window as a warning to others.
If, however, I come back with a glass and it's gone then a code red search is initiated.
Hoover in hand I carefully lift up anything it could be hiding under or in and vacuum it.
If the spider is not found then that room is sealed from the outside and never used again.
It's the only way to be sure.
GTIR said:
They also lay eggs just under your skin, usually behind the ear as it's softer skin. You're fine until they hatch, they sometimes "squeak" when they come out.
Careful.
You are a C U Next Tuesday. Google has confirmed that you are merely trying to prolong my suffering and play on my fear of spiders. Why would you do such a thing. You horrible person.Careful.
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