Voda cowing fone.

[br d]

They've stopped sending me my bills by mail for the third time, so I'm going to have to ring them yet again and explain that I want a bill sent to me for my records. The email informing me that I'm going to be getting my bills online actually says "No more tearing open the envelope.." I swear on my eyesight this is what it says. Do they think I have suddenly become paraplegic?

It strikes me as very fking odd that according to the adverts their entire customer base is made up of thrusting, vivacious, dancing, jumping and gurning 20 somethings who apparently are too exhausted to open a fking envolope.
I have 5 phones, I always upgrade with them, I have been a customer for 20 years, I pay extra on every line to have an itemised bill and I spend over 300 quid a month, is it too much to fking ask to be sent a bill?

And as for the fking automated answering system when you call them:
"Hi! I'll just need a minute to..."
"Okay! Now you have 5 choices..."
"Right! Let's get you some help..."

If you think that some "Say it through a smile" vacuous insincerity is going to warm me to you while I'm shuffled endlessly around the system you are clearly fking retarded. Please tell the soulless, dead eyed, slack-jawed itinerate morons in your marketing department that if they feel we react better to "real-sounding people" then employ some real fking people to answer the phones.

s.

[alfa pint]

9/10 - you needed a 'censored' in the subject line to really get the rant started.