Is she a failure?
Author
Discussion

Mikeyboy

Original Poster:

5,018 posts

266 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
I have an ex who in conversation the other day said that:
a)She didn't stop smoking when she was having her second kid. Didn't want to even though her first kid was born seriously ill possibly through complications during the pregnancy.

b)Argues with her boyfriend all the time leading to instances of them not talking to each other for days/weeks on end. She claimed amazingly that she liked this.

My reaction was to tell her she should be ashamed and I had lost all respect for her. I simply couldn't see how someone could do that and not think of their kids.

In the case of the fighting she said it didn't affect the kids as they weren't very aggressive fights and after 5 years the silences only lasted a few days now!

And in both circumstances she said I had no right to criticise her as I had no idea of the circumstances or situation behind the events.

I can't see how there could be good circumstances for either though.

Am I wrong or am i just applying my already bad opinion of her and exaggerating these small incidents?


freecar

4,249 posts

218 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
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She sounds like a crap mum to me!

plg

4,106 posts

241 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
Not sure about *failure* but she does sound like a heartless bh. Why woudl you keep in contact with her?

Nimbus

1,176 posts

259 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
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I'd be glad she's an ex, and count it as a lucky escape.

308mate

13,758 posts

253 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
At what point have you wasted enough time pondering this person?

Id say it was while back.

Edited by 308mate on Thursday 23 September 12:14

Steamer

14,199 posts

244 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
Mikeyboy said:
a)She didn't stop smoking when she was having her second kid...
Yes.

Next.

ajprice

33,578 posts

227 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
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Sounds like a BBC3 'documentary'.

Sixpackpert

5,359 posts

245 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
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She sounds awesome...

Frankeh

12,558 posts

216 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
Not giving up something as trivial as smoking when pregnant makes her a failure in my books.

She only has to give up a silly little habit for 9 months. Her baby has to live with the possible side effects for 80+ years.

Selfish bh.

Jasandjules

72,683 posts

260 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
What day is she on The Jeremy Kyle show?

I do hope you don't have kids with her, if not, then I don't think you have any real reason to stay in touch with a creature who will smoke during pregnancy...

Neil H

15,418 posts

282 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
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Sounds like one of the millions of worthless chavs that inhabit this country.

pad58

12,549 posts

212 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
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Just be glad she's you EX.

Stay well clear if i was you.

blindswelledrat

25,257 posts

263 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
308mate said:
At what point have you wasted enough time pondering this person?

Id say it was while back.

]
Perfect

sleep envy

62,260 posts

280 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
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mike - you keep some really bad company wink

Original Poster

5,429 posts

207 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
She sounds better off as your ex!

Sixpackpert

5,359 posts

245 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
Mikeyboy and ex during happier times.


ZesPak

26,163 posts

227 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
pad58 said:
Just be glad she's you EX.

Stay well clear if i was you.
yes

Unless her first kid is his, in which case he's stuck with her.

Piersman2

6,676 posts

230 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
FFS the smoking nazis are out again.

My ex smoked (lightly) through all 3 pregnancies. Not her usual 20 a day or so, maybe 5 a day.

Can't see that it did any of the 3 kids any harm.

Now I'm not suggesting that 60 a day is a good thing or a target to achieve during pregnancy... but I do think people neeed some sense of realism here.

It's a bit like the speeding over-reaction of certain parts of the media where going at 75mph must be killing children and kittens somewhere in the surrounding countryside. Smoking a few tab does not a murderer or abuser make.

Anyways, I always said if it cuased a smaller baby it'd be easier to pass. smile






Frankeh

12,558 posts

216 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
What's the point in taking the risk? Just stop smoking, jeeze.

Like I said, 9 months of smoking could increase the chance of the baby having defects for their ENTIRE LIFE.

What's the point?

Quitting smoking only takes a week or 2 of misery anyway. You're a weak willed individual if you can't kick the habit.

sleep envy

62,260 posts

280 months

Thursday 23rd September 2010
quotequote all
Frankeh said:
Quitting smoking only takes a week or 2 of misery anyway. You're a weak willed individual if you can't kick the habit.
pregnant and suffering from nicotine withdrawl?

rofl

it's telling that you don't have much experience of women do you?