family dilemma, need outside opinion please...
Discussion
my brothers eldest is about to get married to a complete scrote. no job, prospects, other kids he doesn't pay towards, etc, etc. even had a domestic at one point where he hit her. now i know she's a stroppy madam, but even so, no excuse. police called, no room for involvement.
fast forward to now. she's taken him back, they're going to get married. my niece is 23 for the record and has a good job, no kids, etc, etc. i have no interest in sharing the oxygen in a room with this f***er and of my family i'm the one he really doesn't want to see either as i've been pretty blunt about what should happen to him after the incident they had before. i think my brother and his wife are pretty much going to assume i wouldnt be going anyway and i doubt it would cause a row. even her own brother doesn't want to go to the bloody thing.
the wrinkle in this is my dad, who i love to absolute bits. he's not getting any younger and when speaking to him and my mum they have also automatically assumed i won't be going to this jeremy kyle punch & judy extravaganza. something in how my dad said that they're her grandparents and will be obligated has left me thinking though. so my question is this:
do i offer to go for my dad, if he really wants me to? i suspect he may say yes and if he does i will behave obviously, but i just can't condone such a poor choice of partner. i've been knocking this around for a bit now and i think i'm too close to read it, so please, be blunt as i know you all will in your advice.
cheers
fast forward to now. she's taken him back, they're going to get married. my niece is 23 for the record and has a good job, no kids, etc, etc. i have no interest in sharing the oxygen in a room with this f***er and of my family i'm the one he really doesn't want to see either as i've been pretty blunt about what should happen to him after the incident they had before. i think my brother and his wife are pretty much going to assume i wouldnt be going anyway and i doubt it would cause a row. even her own brother doesn't want to go to the bloody thing.
the wrinkle in this is my dad, who i love to absolute bits. he's not getting any younger and when speaking to him and my mum they have also automatically assumed i won't be going to this jeremy kyle punch & judy extravaganza. something in how my dad said that they're her grandparents and will be obligated has left me thinking though. so my question is this:
do i offer to go for my dad, if he really wants me to? i suspect he may say yes and if he does i will behave obviously, but i just can't condone such a poor choice of partner. i've been knocking this around for a bit now and i think i'm too close to read it, so please, be blunt as i know you all will in your advice.
cheers
Edited by y282 on Saturday 25th September 11:14
I'm sure it's in the wrong forum.
My advice would be to go and support your family like them or not.
I have a cousin who got engaged to a complete scrote but telling her made her more determined. A kickin wouldn't make a difference as he'd seen a few anyway.
In time, hopefully not long, she'll come to her senses - before kids come along fingers crossed!! She'll put it down to experience.
My advice would be to go and support your family like them or not.
I have a cousin who got engaged to a complete scrote but telling her made her more determined. A kickin wouldn't make a difference as he'd seen a few anyway.
In time, hopefully not long, she'll come to her senses - before kids come along fingers crossed!! She'll put it down to experience.
kwitit's not her getting married so much as wanting to support my dad (and mum). next time i see him i'll tell him how much i really don't approve but if he wants me to, i'll go.
one of the things that's also made me reflect on this is the thread about people who have lost their father already that i read on here the other day. i guess i have to respect his wishes. problem is he'll say do it for your brothers sake, who won't even care!
one of the things that's also made me reflect on this is the thread about people who have lost their father already that i read on here the other day. i guess i have to respect his wishes. problem is he'll say do it for your brothers sake, who won't even care!
Grit your teeth and be there for your niece and father. Spend the day with them, chances are all you'll need to say to the groom all day is "Congratulations" then enjoy the rest of the day with your family.
This could be one of the few questions when the answer is not "buy an MX-5" !!!!
This could be one of the few questions when the answer is not "buy an MX-5" !!!!
You'll have your chance to express your opinions at Church- infront of everyone.
Just don't expect a slice of cake afterwards
BTW, you should go. My own Grandmother couldn't be arsed to turn up to my Wedding which caused numerous ruptions throughout the family. If you don't go, it'll be the start of many family events you won't get invited to.
Just don't expect a slice of cake afterwards
BTW, you should go. My own Grandmother couldn't be arsed to turn up to my Wedding which caused numerous ruptions throughout the family. If you don't go, it'll be the start of many family events you won't get invited to.
Edited by Vidal Baboon on Saturday 25th September 11:40
y282 said:
crofty1984 said:
You should go. Don't make a scene or tell anyone how you disapprove and grit your teeth.
they all know already and no one approves of it, that's the irony! y282 said:
ZOLLAR said:
You should go, at the very least you could document the event for scientific research into sub-human marital rituals....
ah, you've met them i see don't worry op all families have "undesirables" and for the people who think their family dosn't have any well your probably them 
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