need to seriously sort this out

[feelin down]

Mods / Garlick can this be moved....

This is really for the lounge - however I cannot post there at the moment as this is a new username...

However I do not want to post this on my usual login

I am a member of PH (quite new - within the last 6 months) think its a quality forum and some great advice.

Please ignore all the grammar and spelling issues

---

After 2 years, I recently split with the ex GF and we both decided it was what we wanted and that we could no longer work things out etc...

However its been about a month now and im not doing too well, I'm finding things very quiet and lonely, most of my mates are busy doing their thing and with their GF's or at uni/work (im 21 - not at uni)

Now I know you will all say man the fk up but its not happening and I am hating myself... (no idea why as she was quite st and it wasn't an amazing 2 years etc)

Now do I simply get out and find a new social network etc / do I join the match.com thread?

Kind of find myself quite bored and with nothing to do and I find myself thinking about stuff and looking back at the (limited) good times etc.

This is hitting me hard - maybe as its the longest relationship to date and one where we spent more time together then apart.

Maybe I need to find new interests / hobbies, I also am not wishing to visit places alone as I feel akward about doing so... (most people my age hang in a group of mates - my mates are always busy with work or uni etc or just have not got much time for me as I didn't have that much time for them when I was in my relationship - lesson learnt)

Thoughts? - You are welcome to be brutal.

[Papa Hotel]

www.problempages.co.uk

[pinchmeimdreamin]

Man the fk up.................

Then ring your best mate tell him how low you are.
Go out and get trolleyed.



Then sit yourself down and think what you want to do, if at the end of that you still feel you want to try again then contact her and see how she feels, If she blanks you then you have no optioon to move on.

If she feels the same then maybe a break was what was required.
Then









Man the fk up.................
Oxo tower
Nuke her from orbit
take her for a run out in the MX5
Cover her in custard
Post her pic on here

[carmonk]

Yet again, it's appropriate for me to post this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EY7lYRneHc

[Ecurie Ecosse]

Give speed dating a bash. I tried it once and it was a great laugh.

My friend was a serial speed dater and had many conquests from going, and he even met his wife there.

[PoleDriver]

It's only a month, it will take time for the wounds to heal.

Too soon for match.com, unless you are one of those saddos that is scared of being on the shelf for more than five minutes!

Get out and enjoy yourself, go to busy places, meet people just for fun, there's plenty of time for settling down later! Sow some wild oats!!!!

[Qube]

Just a thought.

Not sure if this helps, but, give your ballbag a good slap, wake up, and go and buy a V8 TVR. Take it for a long drive and enjoy yourself.

Problem sorted..

The next morning you will be full of life again !.

[feelin down]

Thank you for the speedy replies guys!!

I am not really wanting to get back with her as we are very different and it just wont work, we have had a number of problems in the past and I think it will just end in more pain.

I was considering getting wasted and stuff, however I am trying not to do that as I feel that it's because of her I'm having to get wasted (if that makes much sense)

I do need to man the fk up. that is for sure, I think the worst thing I did in this relationship is spend little time with my mates, so naturally they all seem a bit distant, we have yet to go out yet as they are all "busy" however we have talked and they have been over everything and now they are at the stage of saying stop talking about it and move on.

I think speed dating needs to be done just for a laugh and to get me out of the house etc...

I am going out with my mates but its so irregular and infrequent that most times I am finding myself bored with nothing to do, not really feeling like playing on the X360 either...

Thanks again PH!!

[shovelheadrob]

Ecurie Ecosse said:

Give speed dating a bash. I tried it once and it was a great laugh.

My friend was a serial speed dater and had many conquests from going, and he even met his wife there.

That must have been a tad embarrassing for both parties, or is it like dogging indoors?

[feelin down]

Qube said:

Just a thought.

Not sure if this helps, but, give your ballbag a good slap, wake up, and go and buy a V8 TVR. Take it for a long drive and enjoy yourself.

Problem sorted..

The next morning you will be full of life again !.

I'd love a V8, being in London however I will never get insurance.

[carmonk]

Ecurie Ecosse said:

My friend was a serial speed dater and had many conquests from going, and he even met his wife there.

Before they were married, I assume

[zippyprorider]

try and look on the brigher side, did you not miss being single at all when with her go out find a sl*t, have a laugh and do whatever you want to do without thinking of anyone else!

[feelin down]

Also I've never been one to have one night stands etc etc.

Only really have sex within a relationship. So not looking to go out and find a fk for the night, maybe thats where I should change... and enjoy no strings sex.

the suggestion behind speed dating / match etc is to keep myself busy / occupied and stop being bored... so anything will work I guess.

[Nicholas Blair]

Qube said:

Just a thought.

Not sure if this helps, but, give your ballbag a good slap, wake up, and go and buy a V8 TVR. Take it for a long drive and enjoy yourself.

Problem sorted..

The next morning you will be full of life again !.

^^^^^ You won't go far wrong with this

Good luck

[pinchmeimdreamin]

feelin down said:

the suggestion behind speed dating / match etc is to keep myself busy / occupied and stop being bored... so anything will work I guess.

This is PH get yourself an old TVR/Classic/trackslag and spend your sparetime doing it up.

[B3njamin]

Join a gym and work hard; it will take your mind away from things for a while and better body image can't hurt upcoming dates.

Anything you fancied trying but never got round to doing? Well you've got free time to do it now! Yes it's not a nice feeling being single but it's a blessing in so many ways to do things you always wanted to try.

Don't give a rat's arse about being single, just be happy and do what makes you happy. Don't bother chasing women, if you're happy and outgoing they'll come to you soon enough and you can enjoy the fun involved in the chase again. Find a lady who does it for you, no need to rush, no pressure, you'll find her soon enough. Enjoy the second chance you've been given, it really is a blessing.

Ah, go out for drinks with friends who have good records for meeting women. Enjoy meeting new women, if it leads to a one night stand then enjoy it for the freedom it gives you - don't knock it 'till you try it... Far too many people are prudes about it but would be in there like a greasy rat fired out of a greasy canon if they had the balls to man up and try it themselves.

Edited for the man-up pep talk.

Edited by B3njamin on Wednesday 23 February 20:57

[Papa Hotel]

Can you stop putting ellipses in your posts so much? I do that a lot and I don't want anyone to think you are an account of mine. Thanks.

[farrendahl]

Join the dark side and become a happy care free homosexual having sex with many anonymous partners whilst dancing your arse off to Kylie and enjoying many legal and illegal substances...........but seriously, no matter how bad the relationship it was two years of your life and the associated feelings don't just vanish over night. You will get there but it's going to take time.



Oh yes and fk the man up.....what do you mean that's not the right phrase?

[Otto]

Mate you live in London and you have nothing to do??? Seriously?

'Someone' was talking about strippers in the lounge - give that a shot! It IS Wednesday after all - perfect excuse.

Go out with your friends, but DO NOT talk about your split - sounds like they are already bored of hearing about it, and you are probably repeating the same crap over and over. Have fun, go wild, be stupid.

Get to a gym and start some training to get in shape. Get new clothes. Start thinking positively about yourself, and interacting with folks in normal day-to-day life.

Right now, you are used to having someone there all the time. Learn to be fine on your own, and enjoy yourself on your own. You don't NEED a girlfriend to have an awesome life.

[Qube]

feelin down said:

I'd love a V8, being in London however I will never get insurance.

Try hiring one or something similar, the freedom will give you a chance to blow the cobwebs and clear the mind.

Life is a bh, and is filled with peaks and troughs.