Anything you have had to give up for the Mrs/wife/Fella?
Discussion
Well, as I write this, I'm going into the 11th month of the bedroom "dry spell". It isn't a suprise to me. The better half has had to go through child birth 10 months ago. It is actually a suprise.
I find myself under the thumb too often nowadays. No fun, boring la de dar. Denied because of her feelings of what I imagine to be one of 2 things. Another fella or more accurate, the fear of procreation. We went through a very bad couple of miscarrages and a poorly baby along with an agonising childbirth, mainly because I missed the last episode of a previous Top Gear series and instead, spent 25 hours listening to how the world ending was my fault..... only time she has been right.
Now, I've been told by her that any attempts to put the VR6 back on the road will lead to the "leaving you" speech before packing her bags, our son and my testicles, before moving to her parents in the Caribbean.
Anyone else had to give up something for their relationships?
I find myself under the thumb too often nowadays. No fun, boring la de dar. Denied because of her feelings of what I imagine to be one of 2 things. Another fella or more accurate, the fear of procreation. We went through a very bad couple of miscarrages and a poorly baby along with an agonising childbirth, mainly because I missed the last episode of a previous Top Gear series and instead, spent 25 hours listening to how the world ending was my fault..... only time she has been right.
Now, I've been told by her that any attempts to put the VR6 back on the road will lead to the "leaving you" speech before packing her bags, our son and my testicles, before moving to her parents in the Caribbean.
Anyone else had to give up something for their relationships?
Doesn't sound like much of a relationship chap...
Sounds like your Mrs is hurting & needs to talk to somebody. At the same time, it's not like you didn't go through it too.
I cannot stand women who find their bloke, then try to change them, then leave them because they're not the bloke they fell in love with
.
Sounds like your Mrs is hurting & needs to talk to somebody. At the same time, it's not like you didn't go through it too.
I cannot stand women who find their bloke, then try to change them, then leave them because they're not the bloke they fell in love with
.Hate to say this fella, but that sounds more like a dictatorship than a relationship. Relationships are about compromise, not full on giving in to the other halfs wishes just to stay on their good side. You're supposed to come to an agreement, not a resignation to having anything you want at all.
The only thing I've had to give in on is the amount of time I spend on the internet, which is fair enough really.
Why does she not want you to put the vr6 on the road? Money? Noise? or is she just being unreasonable?
The only thing I've had to give in on is the amount of time I spend on the internet, which is fair enough really.
Why does she not want you to put the vr6 on the road? Money? Noise? or is she just being unreasonable?
read5458 said:
Well, as I write this, I'm going into the 11th month of the bedroom "dry spell". It isn't a suprise to me. The better half has had to go through child birth 10 months ago. It is actually a suprise.
I find myself under the thumb too often nowadays. No fun, boring la de dar. Denied because of her feelings of what I imagine to be one of 2 things. Another fella or more accurate, the fear of procreation. We went through a very bad couple of miscarrages and a poorly baby along with an agonising childbirth, mainly because I missed the last episode of a previous Top Gear series and instead, spent 25 hours listening to how the world ending was my fault..... only time she has been right.
Now, I've been told by her that any attempts to put the VR6 back on the road will lead to the "leaving you" speech before packing her bags, our son and my testicles, before moving to her parents in the Caribbean.
Anyone else had to give up something for their relationships?
.I find myself under the thumb too often nowadays. No fun, boring la de dar. Denied because of her feelings of what I imagine to be one of 2 things. Another fella or more accurate, the fear of procreation. We went through a very bad couple of miscarrages and a poorly baby along with an agonising childbirth, mainly because I missed the last episode of a previous Top Gear series and instead, spent 25 hours listening to how the world ending was my fault..... only time she has been right.
Now, I've been told by her that any attempts to put the VR6 back on the road will lead to the "leaving you" speech before packing her bags, our son and my testicles, before moving to her parents in the Caribbean.
Anyone else had to give up something for their relationships?
Thats real crap. 11 months, 1 day is enough!
There must be no change, tell her she got you like this, and your staying like this.
How crap can that be?
I would definatly be having a strong talk to her, and put some truths to the relationship.
Well if there isn't any thing available in the bedroom, then there's probably a wondering eye looking elsewhere. ?
And as for the car, well thats just plain stupid and demanding on her part.
Ignore that, just put the VR6 back on the road.
As to the "I am leaving you speach" WTF !
Call the bluff, live YOUR life again, not the life she is twisting you into.
'vette
a girl once asked me what i would do if i had to choose between her and my records.
my answer 'there's 3 billion women on the planet but some of these white labels are irreplacable' didn't go down too well.
i'v had a girl get jealous of my cat once.
she couldn't accept that there was something else there that needed attention.
she was fit but thats a warning sign you cant ignore.
my answer 'there's 3 billion women on the planet but some of these white labels are irreplacable' didn't go down too well.
i'v had a girl get jealous of my cat once.
she couldn't accept that there was something else there that needed attention.
she was fit but thats a warning sign you cant ignore.
Edited by dudleybloke on Monday 14th March 01:11
Nicely done!uk_vette said:
read5458 said:
Well, as I write this, I'm going into the 11th month of the bedroom "dry spell". It isn't a suprise to me. The better half has had to go through child birth 10 months ago. It is actually a suprise.
I find myself under the thumb too often nowadays. No fun, boring la de dar. Denied because of her feelings of what I imagine to be one of 2 things. Another fella or more accurate, the fear of procreation. We went through a very bad couple of miscarrages and a poorly baby along with an agonising childbirth, mainly because I missed the last episode of a previous Top Gear series and instead, spent 25 hours listening to how the world ending was my fault..... only time she has been right.
Now, I've been told by her that any attempts to put the VR6 back on the road will lead to the "leaving you" speech before packing her bags, our son and my testicles, before moving to her parents in the Caribbean.
Anyone else had to give up something for their relationships?
.I find myself under the thumb too often nowadays. No fun, boring la de dar. Denied because of her feelings of what I imagine to be one of 2 things. Another fella or more accurate, the fear of procreation. We went through a very bad couple of miscarrages and a poorly baby along with an agonising childbirth, mainly because I missed the last episode of a previous Top Gear series and instead, spent 25 hours listening to how the world ending was my fault..... only time she has been right.
Now, I've been told by her that any attempts to put the VR6 back on the road will lead to the "leaving you" speech before packing her bags, our son and my testicles, before moving to her parents in the Caribbean.
Anyone else had to give up something for their relationships?
Thats real crap. 11 months, 1 day is enough!
There must be no change, tell her she got you like this, and your staying like this.
How crap can that be?
I would definatly be having a strong talk to her, and put some truths to the relationship.
Well if there isn't any thing available in the bedroom, then there's probably a wondering eye looking elsewhere. ?
And as for the car, well thats just plain stupid and demanding on her part.
Ignore that, just put the VR6 back on the road.
As to the "I am leaving you speach" WTF !
Call the bluff, live YOUR life again, not the life she is twisting you into.
'vette
Your wife needs to talk to someone I think. 11 months of nothing is not right (even with the trauma you've BOTH been through) Do you think she would consider this
Has there been any intimacy?
It's about give and take and compromise, not all or nothing.
Hubby did sell his Honda Blackbird when we bought a house but it was his choice and I would never have forced him, even though financially it was the right thing to do (I liked that bike aswell
).
N.B. I am the mother of an 11 month old and admit I didn't have the stress/ upset of miscarriages but it was a slightly traumatic birth and a few issues to start with but things are good now (which I hope they are with your boy aswell)hubby had to be patient for about 4 months.
Has there been any intimacy?
It's about give and take and compromise, not all or nothing.
Hubby did sell his Honda Blackbird when we bought a house but it was his choice and I would never have forced him, even though financially it was the right thing to do (I liked that bike aswell
).N.B. I am the mother of an 11 month old and admit I didn't have the stress/ upset of miscarriages but it was a slightly traumatic birth and a few issues to start with but things are good now (which I hope they are with your boy aswell)hubby had to be patient for about 4 months.
Edited by bexVN on Monday 14th March 07:38
read5458 said:
The fear of procreation. We went through a very bad couple of miscarrages and a poorly baby along with an agonising childbirth.
I'm no expert, but that sounds like you might be on to something. All joking aside, maybe she needs some form of counselling, maybe that you both attend, to get over this.Someone else on PH can do the smart arsed replies, I'm crap at it.
Had to abstain from any form of motorsport or petrolheadednes from 97 to 03,i couldnt take it any longer and walked out,never been happier see my daughter 2 to 3 times a week ,got 2 cars and do what i want when i want.Couple of years ago over a beer my mate confided that his Mrs was driving him crackers,minimal sex life,had to sell his toys etc etc and was worried his life and passions were passing him by.I suggested that on the monday he goes to the local bike dealer and get the most expensive bike he could afford (part joking).On the Wednesday he came round on a nearly new R1.Surprisingly after the initial nuclear war things improved in there relationship,as he was happier and she realised you cant change somebody in to what you want them to be.
Ok, reading the thread title I was going to say "stop smoking cigars while she's around".
But then I read this:
It sounds like you have a bad deal there. Work it out or it will go from bad to worse. Have you tried to seek for relationship counselling or is she denying there's a problem?
But then I read this:
read5458 said:
Well, as I write this, I'm going into the 11th month of the bedroom "dry spell"...
And I must say I have nothing to complain about.It sounds like you have a bad deal there. Work it out or it will go from bad to worse. Have you tried to seek for relationship counselling or is she denying there's a problem?
http://www.lilaclane.com/relationships/emotional-a...
Don't know if any of that is relevant (there is a bit on the site there that says it works the same for men, but it reads clearer if they just use one gender).
From what I gained from reading that (and other stuff), you have the power to restore a balance but you have to be prepared to risk losing it all - I got to the point where I was willing to walk out and knowing that I had that option enabled me to say what I wanted and needed to say.
Don't know if any of that is relevant (there is a bit on the site there that says it works the same for men, but it reads clearer if they just use one gender).
From what I gained from reading that (and other stuff), you have the power to restore a balance but you have to be prepared to risk losing it all - I got to the point where I was willing to walk out and knowing that I had that option enabled me to say what I wanted and needed to say.
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