Aspergers Syndrome

[BlackVanDyke]

This is a follow-on from a post in The Lounge where someone asked about getting an Aspergers diagnosis as an adult.

I got my diagnosis aged 19, from a consultant psychologist who specialises in care for adults on the autistic spectrum. The right person could have diagnosed me at 3, and school reports every year right from infant school onwards contain ample evidence that I was functioning very very differently from other kids, struggling socially and emotionally, and I regret deeply that nobody thought to look into that at the time as I believe it could have helped me hugely back then.

It's common for adults who have Aspergers or High Functioning Autism to need to seek a diagnosis privately - the facilities within the NHS are desperately under-resourced and underdeveloped and if you are generally coping you will not be a priority to access them, although of course you have every right to try, if you think it's the right thing for you.

1) Consider what you would gain, if anything, from a formal diagnosis - I had to do it as I was very seriously not coping with uni, lacking skills everybody else had and I had no idea where to even start learning (time management, essay planning, independent research type stuff plus some social-interaction catastrophes with staff and students) - if you are currently comfortable in your own skin and living a life you're okay with, it might not actually be useful to have that formal diagnosis other than for yourself. That said:

2) The big thing with an aspergers diagnosis once you've left school is essentially confirmation of what you've already realised - that difficulty building relationships (or whatever) is hard for you for a specific reason, for example. For me it explained why I got all the way to 18 with just a single friend, was bullied, terrible isolation etc - I hadn't a clue about how to make friends. Having been actively blamed, outright, by adults in positions of power for some aspects that I now know are completely outside my comprehension or control, that confirmation was a HUGE increase in my self-esteem and general wellbeing.

3) If you think you have Aspergers, you probably do. That alone is enough for you to be able to do some self-help stuff with identifying areas that you can improve for yourself.

(I also have a very complex and now very severe progressive genetic condition, which as far as I know is unrelated to my having Asperger's)

[NoVetec]

Thank you for taking the time to post that.

[voyds9]

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

You have pretty much confirmed what I already thought.

I 'discovered' AS a couple of years ago and the more I read about the more I am convinced I have it.

Since I decided I am probably Aspergers I am a lot more comfortable with myself. A formal diagnosis would ease me further.

I have very little in the way of social interaction, I do have a wife who makes up for my social gaucheness.

One further question if I may take more of your time. How do you find music, I find loud(er) music physically painful. This doesn't seem to be addressed in any article I have across yet.

[mad4amanda]

Just asked about the loud music thing and other half says its common that those on the spectrum are hypersensitive to loud music or sounds . She is an Aspergers specialist currently working with secondary school pupils as head a specialist unit, hope this helps.

[BlackVanDyke]

You are both very welcome!

People on the autistic spectrum in general (of which Aspergers is one part of the more-able end) seem to generally divide quite neatly into people who want lots more sensory input than usual - loud music, very physical, strong flavours, bright colours - and people who want lots less. I am definitely in the 'lots less' camp - I think 'sensory seeker' and 'sensory defensive' are the technical terms - like you I find loud music (and very loud noise in general) completely excruciating, one of the very few genuine total meltdown moments I've ever had was about 3 years ago when I was being uncared for in a nursing home and someone did 4 hours of very very loud drilling etc directly beneath my room... for the rest of that day I was a complete wreck mentally, turned out I had clawed a load of gouges in my forehead in my distress, didn't even notice that 'til the next day.

I've never had such a bad meltdown, before or since - combination of ongoing abusive staff who were really dismissive when I started getting upset and asking to be taken out or for the drilling to stop, general horrible circumstances plus that unbearable noise just reduced me to animal level. Really awful experience.

These days I have a couple of sets of proper industrial ear defenders and apply them as needed, which almost totally solves that problem. I do like listening to music, a lot, but the maximum volume I can cope with is a lot lower than what most people would enjoy. A related thing can be finding it quite hard to 'tune out' noises and ignore the irrelevant bits - this most often pops up as being horribly distracted by someone else's rustling in a lecture theatre, or getting stuck trying to have a conversation with a lot of background noise, almost to the point of being functionally deaf sometimes, as a little kid this results in being told off for ignoring adults a lot.

[voyds9]

Thanks again.
That explains a lot. I'm the one who hears watches ticking, taps dripping, fly in the bedroom etc. Conversely I adored fireworks even though I feel like I've been punched.

[stackmonkey]

I'm going through the assessment process at the moment.
I did a random autism test on here some time ago and got a surprisingly high score, so did some reading around the subject.
Once I found the details on Asperger's everything clicked into place.

[Chris_]

My eldest son was diagnosed with AS when he was around five years old. It was a huge relief to finally have confirmed what we had suspected. One interesting thing we have found; with a far better understanding of the subject, it seems quite evident that all the males from my wife's family show AS tendencies. I am a believer that genetics has a part to play. A cross-sample of your company's IT department will probably throw up similar results.

Now aged nine, it is obviously a mixed blessing. He loves the fact that he is the best at school in maths and gets in free at Lego Land, but it is upsetting to see him sometimes struggle in social situations. He has been lucky in that he goes to a very small and friendly primary school, and he has a great time there. My big worry is secondary school and hope to cope with that....