Child counselling advice
Discussion
My son is 11 years old and his Dad has announced he is emigrating to the other side of the world and he is naturally struggling with this news. His Dad and I split before he was born, but have always maintained a joint parenting relationship and everything has gone well to date - he has always seen his Dad regularly and there's a great father/son bond.
In the last week or so, my son has been expressing emotions of sadness (crying about him going) and anger (that his Dad has chosen a woman over his own son - his words, I have kept out of the reasons and let his Dad deal with that side).
I am struggling to know how best to deal with the situation - I can comfort him, listen and be there for him, but I am wondering if some sort of Counselling is available or worthwhile for this situation. From reserch it seems he is likely to go through a grieving type process and already this seems to be affecting him at school, with his teacher speaking to me last week.
His Dad hasn't left the country yet, but once his Visa arrives, he has said he will be gone within 2 weeks. I feel utterly useless in some respects and want to be doing the right thing to help him - we are also dealing with the onset of puberty, SATS and changing schools in September - a mix that isn't helping matters.
Any advice, thoughts, things I can do to help my son through this would be great.
In the last week or so, my son has been expressing emotions of sadness (crying about him going) and anger (that his Dad has chosen a woman over his own son - his words, I have kept out of the reasons and let his Dad deal with that side).
I am struggling to know how best to deal with the situation - I can comfort him, listen and be there for him, but I am wondering if some sort of Counselling is available or worthwhile for this situation. From reserch it seems he is likely to go through a grieving type process and already this seems to be affecting him at school, with his teacher speaking to me last week.
His Dad hasn't left the country yet, but once his Visa arrives, he has said he will be gone within 2 weeks. I feel utterly useless in some respects and want to be doing the right thing to help him - we are also dealing with the onset of puberty, SATS and changing schools in September - a mix that isn't helping matters.
Any advice, thoughts, things I can do to help my son through this would be great.
Have you thought about speaking to your GP for advice, as they will be able to recommend a child counselling service.
in addition your sons School will also have access to LA approved counsellors.
Or if you want to pursue privately look at www.bacp.co.uk/ this is the main body for professional counsellors across the UK.
Hope this helps.
in addition your sons School will also have access to LA approved counsellors.
Or if you want to pursue privately look at www.bacp.co.uk/ this is the main body for professional counsellors across the UK.
Hope this helps.
I'd suggest that it is entirely normal for him to feel sad at a time like this. If it's an "other side of the world" which is easily visitable, it may be worth organising a trip (or at least timing for a trip) before he goes, so that he's got something to look forward to.
Otherwise, buy him a puppy.
Otherwise, buy him a puppy.
GP/school sound like good places to start, especially as I should probably have mentioned he has HFA (High Functioning Autism) - so someone who understands Aspergers/Autism as some emotions will be expressed differently or not at all.
The flying out has been discussed - I am concerned about letting a minor (who struggles hugely with environment change and busy places) go out alone, so at the moment, we can't put timings on this until he can go with another member of that side of the family. As it's Hong Kong as well, the amount of people both in the flat he'd be staying and out and about is far from ideal for him. I'd rather his Dad organised to fly back at regular intervals, but do need to look at whether my feelings are getting in the way of being objective.
We've already got the pup
to keep the adult dog company, which was to help with him the Aspergers.
We are looking for a new club/activity he or we can do every weekend, hopefully that will help him to move on from his current routine of when he sees Dad.
Really tough tonight, lots of tears and he said some horrible things
The flying out has been discussed - I am concerned about letting a minor (who struggles hugely with environment change and busy places) go out alone, so at the moment, we can't put timings on this until he can go with another member of that side of the family. As it's Hong Kong as well, the amount of people both in the flat he'd be staying and out and about is far from ideal for him. I'd rather his Dad organised to fly back at regular intervals, but do need to look at whether my feelings are getting in the way of being objective.
We've already got the pup
to keep the adult dog company, which was to help with him the Aspergers. We are looking for a new club/activity he or we can do every weekend, hopefully that will help him to move on from his current routine of when he sees Dad.
Really tough tonight, lots of tears and he said some horrible things
Thanks Jakester. Will make some enquiries tomorrow and hopefully get some help.
Yep, I've got other challenges to sort such as school hols childcare (that we previously shared) and my "me" time will disappear completely. Grandparents not an option (one set 100 miles away, the other set both in poor health), but being self employed I've got alot more flexibility so am grateful for that.
Yep, I've got other challenges to sort such as school hols childcare (that we previously shared) and my "me" time will disappear completely. Grandparents not an option (one set 100 miles away, the other set both in poor health), but being self employed I've got alot more flexibility so am grateful for that.
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