What is wrong with me?
Discussion
I have a problem that seems to be getting worse.
I absolutely hate talking on the phone.
Thing is, i am very outgoing and very energetic on the phone, my telephone manner business wise is one of my strengths and i always strike up good rapport.
I am not a shy person, have plenty of confidence and can use the phone during a working day no problem i just cant STAND speaking to friends, family even my other half (bless her) on the mobile.
If i do end up answering the phone i will always find an excuse to end the call as quickly as possible.
I would rather people text / email me and i will reply, in fact i usually text someone after they have called me saying 'whats up'
I have done a fair bit of work & training in the Mental Health arena and i would describe it as an anxiety disorder, i just dont know what i have to be anxious about.
anyone else have this or have an insight ?
I absolutely hate talking on the phone.
Thing is, i am very outgoing and very energetic on the phone, my telephone manner business wise is one of my strengths and i always strike up good rapport.
I am not a shy person, have plenty of confidence and can use the phone during a working day no problem i just cant STAND speaking to friends, family even my other half (bless her) on the mobile.
If i do end up answering the phone i will always find an excuse to end the call as quickly as possible.
I would rather people text / email me and i will reply, in fact i usually text someone after they have called me saying 'whats up'
I have done a fair bit of work & training in the Mental Health arena and i would describe it as an anxiety disorder, i just dont know what i have to be anxious about.
anyone else have this or have an insight ?
BuzzLightyear said:
If you use the phone a lot during the working day, is this simply a case of not wanting to do more phone-talking in your personal time?
that would make sense but i am currently unemployed so i dont use the phone at all.. when i was at work i found the phone no problem, just afterwork.maybe it is that and it stayed with me after i finished work.
i get a physical 'reaction' when i see the phone ring though so its not a cant be bothered feeling its an actual i really dont want to answer this.
I dread the mobile ringing. if i could disable incoming calls and have text only i would be a happy bunny :/
So it's some sort of negative association with the phone? Is the negative reaction different depending on who's calling you, ie friends / family -v- work / business, ex-colleagues?
(I should say I have no knowledge or experience with this type of thing but can empathise to a degree over not wanting to answer the phone at certain times, like in the evening / relaxing / doing something more interesting...).
(I should say I have no knowledge or experience with this type of thing but can empathise to a degree over not wanting to answer the phone at certain times, like in the evening / relaxing / doing something more interesting...).
I have this as well, although not as worried as you. If someone rings me all I want is the facts, dont want to chat and if they go on too long i just get "rage" and answer in short sharp sentences and will hurry along the conversation, iv put it down to as above, using the phone during the day. Much rather talk face to face.......i wouldnt worry, just get people to pop round more often 
I have a similar problem, been going on for a while now. Mine was improved by buying an old school big business phone with a cable, hands free and volume etc. It seems somehow to be better.
The only thing I can put it down to is the big job is clearer/less compressed than my DECT phones and hearing/speaking doesn't have that delay and compression to it.
Would be worth a go. Perhaps a hearing check too.
The only thing I can put it down to is the big job is clearer/less compressed than my DECT phones and hearing/speaking doesn't have that delay and compression to it.
Would be worth a go. Perhaps a hearing check too.
I'm the same. Confident and very social in life but hate phones. I text my oh rather than phone and conduct most if my business on email. No false promises, proof of what was said/agreed and no annoying distractions. Ill email when I want rather than pick up a phone when someone else wants when I'm busy.
I dont think you're wierd. (Mainly because I'd have to admit to bring that way myself)
I dont think you're wierd. (Mainly because I'd have to admit to bring that way myself)
Pixelpeep said:
BliarOut said:
Is it the same speaking to friends etc. on a landline?
I never answer the landline, its only there to run the broadband over. thanks for all the replies guys, maybe it's just a modern life issue that seems to affect men lol.
I must admit, I'll always send a mail first, rather than pick up the phone at work, but mostly because it provides evidence of the exchange and I know I'd rather get an email to address when I have time than break off from what I'm doing and answer the phone (I rarely bother, unless I know it's something important, I just pick up the voice mail if one's left and respond to that).
M.
M.
I find I have to plan out the bulk of a phone conversation in my head before I have it. Otherwise I'll be really anxious as I pick it up and ring, sometimes to the point of hanging up before it's answered. It's odd, and I was able to get away from it when I was needing to make phone calls for work - but I'm not anymore, and it's come back just as strong as before.
Not sure what the issue is - I think it's to do with not being able to see the other person, or predict what they're going to say based on their body language/expression.
I'm fine with answering though - and during a conversation I'm fine. It's only the first few words/actually ringing which are the problem for me.
Not sure what the issue is - I think it's to do with not being able to see the other person, or predict what they're going to say based on their body language/expression.
I'm fine with answering though - and during a conversation I'm fine. It's only the first few words/actually ringing which are the problem for me.
Yeah, I get this too, work is no problem, at home I hate it.
Girlfriends are normally an issue, especially if they live a distance away and like to call for a chat, I hate it. Generally ends up as a completely one sided conversation which causes no end of trouble! Yet texts / online / in person / even skype video calls are no problem.
I think it stems from an old ex fom many moons ago (16/17/18 y/o) who after seeing me for 3 days straight would immediately get home and call me and expect me to have exciting news and stuff to pass on.
Girlfriends are normally an issue, especially if they live a distance away and like to call for a chat, I hate it. Generally ends up as a completely one sided conversation which causes no end of trouble! Yet texts / online / in person / even skype video calls are no problem.
I think it stems from an old ex fom many moons ago (16/17/18 y/o) who after seeing me for 3 days straight would immediately get home and call me and expect me to have exciting news and stuff to pass on.
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