Breast Cancer - Keeping Positive?
Discussion
A friend of mine got diagnosed with breast cancer last summer. She just took all of the treatment in her stride, no fuss, no moaning, she just got on with it and is now on the mend.
Another mutual friend also has been diagnosed, had the original (massive) operation and is now waiting to start the treatment. She is having a bit of a wobble, mentally, so do the PH massive have any help or tips top help me as a friend help keep her spirits up? I think being positive is half of the battle.
Thanks.
Another mutual friend also has been diagnosed, had the original (massive) operation and is now waiting to start the treatment. She is having a bit of a wobble, mentally, so do the PH massive have any help or tips top help me as a friend help keep her spirits up? I think being positive is half of the battle.
Thanks.
Depends wether she can take a joke or not.
My wife's been through this and come out the other side with a new pair of top-b
ks that will prove to be the best titties in the nursing home in 40 years time. 
It is a harsh journey, but it is do-able.
Best of luck to her and any partners and family she has, because its not just her going through this.
My wife's been through this and come out the other side with a new pair of top-b
ks that will prove to be the best titties in the nursing home in 40 years time. It is a harsh journey, but it is do-able.
Best of luck to her and any partners and family she has, because its not just her going through this.
I'd wonder about pointing out something a bit general about the UNBELIEVABLE sisterhood of strength in the face of suffering that she has joined. It's a bloody hard-won badge of honour that she's got, and she shares it with some of the most incredible women on the planet.
It's a bit schmaltzy and if one was in the wrong mood it'd be easy to point out how many incredible, strong women DON'T have breast cancer - but that's sort of besides the point, if the above is the sort of thing she needs to hear just now.
It's a bit schmaltzy and if one was in the wrong mood it'd be easy to point out how many incredible, strong women DON'T have breast cancer - but that's sort of besides the point, if the above is the sort of thing she needs to hear just now.
BVD is - as usual - right. There is an horrendously large community of women out there going thru this, and while some choose to do so alone, others find 'talking' to people who've been there and got the Tshirt really helpful - no-one else can ever understand what you're going thru mentally which in some ways is worse than the pyhsically.
Open to all are the Breast cancer care forums. A great sourc efgor individual questions, it also has threads for people starting chemo in this month or the next, so you have a group going thru the same as you which can be useful for coping tips. These persist quite a while and provide long term support. there's also scope for individual worries and fears to be brought out and addressed by other who've been there - I don't think there is such a thing as a new bc question - one of us will have been there!! BCC also organise monthly meetups around teh country - I don't have access to one so can't directly comment but I hear they are very good and supoortive and often quite a laugh. Health warning tho to you and others around - humour may blacken!!
Smaller less populated but I find more personal is bcpals, developed and maintained by bc sufferers. Need to register to access that.
Also there and a very good group is breast cancer buddies on facebook. You need an invite - I'd be happy to do that - this is a chatty group of primary ladies at various stages who are very mutually suupportive. There's also a secondary group but hopefully that not required.
This lot might confirm she's not alone. What you can do? Harder to answer. Be there, make her know you're available - its amaxing how many friends slip away in these circumnstances, but equally how many you thought not so close rally round and change status somehow. Listen if she wants to talk. Encourage her to learn abiout her illness so she can ask questions - oncologists are generally not people persons and can be so untactful - telling someone she has a 30% chance of recurrence rather than 70% of non recurrence kind of thing.
Survival rates are improving all the time - new drugs - the chemo I'm on was only being trialled 5 years ago and its kept my secondaries stable since last August - 5 years ago I couldn't have benefited from this.
Sounds like shes had surgery and you're saying major so I'm guessing mx. This is de sexing and has mental implications just as you're then being launched into either rads or chemo or both. Rads in fairness aren't bad, it's going every day to hospital for 15 - 25 days which is the killer as much as anything, and it can screw your skin up but you can't use anything 'nice' until the rads are over. Chemo is tough but do-able - thousands of women take a deep breath and go thru it. It varies person to person - my latest I'm thriving on which is virtually unheard of, my 2nd regime crucified me and I could barely lift my head off pillow. Horses for courses. Best advice I got was plan nothing expect anything and go with th flow - if you feel fine, do something, if you feel crap don't be afraid to curl up in bed and moan at everyone who ventures near!!
Hope something here helps - feel free to PM - you'll have guessed I've had the primary T shirt and threw it away in favour of the much more exclusive secoindary one so am pretty au fait with the beast that is BC!
Nina
Open to all are the Breast cancer care forums. A great sourc efgor individual questions, it also has threads for people starting chemo in this month or the next, so you have a group going thru the same as you which can be useful for coping tips. These persist quite a while and provide long term support. there's also scope for individual worries and fears to be brought out and addressed by other who've been there - I don't think there is such a thing as a new bc question - one of us will have been there!! BCC also organise monthly meetups around teh country - I don't have access to one so can't directly comment but I hear they are very good and supoortive and often quite a laugh. Health warning tho to you and others around - humour may blacken!!
Smaller less populated but I find more personal is bcpals, developed and maintained by bc sufferers. Need to register to access that.
Also there and a very good group is breast cancer buddies on facebook. You need an invite - I'd be happy to do that - this is a chatty group of primary ladies at various stages who are very mutually suupportive. There's also a secondary group but hopefully that not required.
This lot might confirm she's not alone. What you can do? Harder to answer. Be there, make her know you're available - its amaxing how many friends slip away in these circumnstances, but equally how many you thought not so close rally round and change status somehow. Listen if she wants to talk. Encourage her to learn abiout her illness so she can ask questions - oncologists are generally not people persons and can be so untactful - telling someone she has a 30% chance of recurrence rather than 70% of non recurrence kind of thing.
Survival rates are improving all the time - new drugs - the chemo I'm on was only being trialled 5 years ago and its kept my secondaries stable since last August - 5 years ago I couldn't have benefited from this.
Sounds like shes had surgery and you're saying major so I'm guessing mx. This is de sexing and has mental implications just as you're then being launched into either rads or chemo or both. Rads in fairness aren't bad, it's going every day to hospital for 15 - 25 days which is the killer as much as anything, and it can screw your skin up but you can't use anything 'nice' until the rads are over. Chemo is tough but do-able - thousands of women take a deep breath and go thru it. It varies person to person - my latest I'm thriving on which is virtually unheard of, my 2nd regime crucified me and I could barely lift my head off pillow. Horses for courses. Best advice I got was plan nothing expect anything and go with th flow - if you feel fine, do something, if you feel crap don't be afraid to curl up in bed and moan at everyone who ventures near!!
Hope something here helps - feel free to PM - you'll have guessed I've had the primary T shirt and threw it away in favour of the much more exclusive secoindary one so am pretty au fait with the beast that is BC!
Nina
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