My friend is a drug addict
Discussion
I cant post in the lounge, can someone please look in to this as I have been here for months and cannot post there or in speed,plod etc, so when this topic gets moved I wont be able to reply!
She takes crack and heroin. I want to help her but I am not sure what I can do. She has had appointments made for her for substance abuse assessments because she says she wants to go on opium blockers rather than methadone and if she isnt on the gear she wont want to take crack. But she fails to keep the appointments and always rearranges them.
If she goes to the assessment and gets a script for blockers should I let her stay with me while she goes through withdrawal? She can score drugs within 5 minutes of her house and her flat mate is a long time drug user as well (25 years) so I think the chances of him getting clean are slim and living in the same house it will be easy to give in to temptation.
How long does it take for someone to get off the gear? Does anyone have any experience in this?
I also have thought about contacting her father who lives abroad and telling him he needs to come and rescue her but he is oblivious to her drug use and frequently sends cheques that get spent on nothing but drugs.
She has had a privileged up bringing and is a genuinely nice person but her life consumed with taking drugs and doing what needs to be done to get more money for more drugs. But inbetween the drug highs and getting the reattles, in those brief moments of clarity I can see she is still there inside and what an incredible shame it is.
She takes crack and heroin. I want to help her but I am not sure what I can do. She has had appointments made for her for substance abuse assessments because she says she wants to go on opium blockers rather than methadone and if she isnt on the gear she wont want to take crack. But she fails to keep the appointments and always rearranges them.
If she goes to the assessment and gets a script for blockers should I let her stay with me while she goes through withdrawal? She can score drugs within 5 minutes of her house and her flat mate is a long time drug user as well (25 years) so I think the chances of him getting clean are slim and living in the same house it will be easy to give in to temptation.
How long does it take for someone to get off the gear? Does anyone have any experience in this?
I also have thought about contacting her father who lives abroad and telling him he needs to come and rescue her but he is oblivious to her drug use and frequently sends cheques that get spent on nothing but drugs.
She has had a privileged up bringing and is a genuinely nice person but her life consumed with taking drugs and doing what needs to be done to get more money for more drugs. But inbetween the drug highs and getting the reattles, in those brief moments of clarity I can see she is still there inside and what an incredible shame it is.
Some though comments there but, straight to the point a guess.
To the OP. First of all, she has to be wanting to stop her self, otherwise, you can do whatever possible but nothing will change,not even her dad will be able to help. Unfortunately when people say "I want to stop" is more likely to be crocodile tears.
Hope it all works out
To the OP. First of all, she has to be wanting to stop her self, otherwise, you can do whatever possible but nothing will change,not even her dad will be able to help. Unfortunately when people say "I want to stop" is more likely to be crocodile tears.
Hope it all works out
dema said:
To the OP. First of all, she has to be wanting to stop her self, otherwise, you can do whatever possible but nothing will change,not even her dad will be able to help. Unfortunately when people say "I want to stop" is more likely to be crocodile tears.
^ This. You can't quit her drug habit for her.C
This woked for one of my friends.
Organised for his dealer to come to his house,
Explained to his dealer that he was trying to kick the habit, and that I am going to be helping him
Ascertained that nothing was owed to the dealer
Told the dealer that I would be taking my mate away for 2 weeks to straighten him out.
Dealer agreed to not offer drugs to him on his return (he was a bad payer anyway apparently)
Took mate on holiday to cyprus, he met a girl , so did I (now my wife) - he hasnt touched hard drugs since.
The compromise os that he still smokes weed - thats better than crack I suppose.
Organised for his dealer to come to his house,
Explained to his dealer that he was trying to kick the habit, and that I am going to be helping him
Ascertained that nothing was owed to the dealer
Told the dealer that I would be taking my mate away for 2 weeks to straighten him out.
Dealer agreed to not offer drugs to him on his return (he was a bad payer anyway apparently)
Took mate on holiday to cyprus, he met a girl , so did I (now my wife) - he hasnt touched hard drugs since.
The compromise os that he still smokes weed - thats better than crack I suppose.
Get the dad involved, might be the wake up call she needs, but no one will get her straight but herself.
Try and get her to go to a NA meeting, meet with people who are going through he same thing and will give her support whilst coming off and staying off.
Yes you should offer her a place to stay if she is deemed suitable for home detox, take her to the meetings with medical professionals to ensure she attends.
Remember, she is an addict, all she thinks of is using, that's what happens and she sees no life without it. assure her there is a better life out there if she stops, and stays stopped, alternative is unthinkable.
Best of luck, and ignore all the comments re junkies, this stuff effects all types. I wouldn't wish addiction on my worst enemy.
Try and get her to go to a NA meeting, meet with people who are going through he same thing and will give her support whilst coming off and staying off.
Yes you should offer her a place to stay if she is deemed suitable for home detox, take her to the meetings with medical professionals to ensure she attends.
Remember, she is an addict, all she thinks of is using, that's what happens and she sees no life without it. assure her there is a better life out there if she stops, and stays stopped, alternative is unthinkable.
Best of luck, and ignore all the comments re junkies, this stuff effects all types. I wouldn't wish addiction on my worst enemy.
simon1987 said:
How long does it take for someone to get off the gear? Does anyone have any experience in this?
Yes,lots. Unfortunately.If an addict wants to give up they can. Most don't however. The psychological effects of addiction last for years.
simon1987 said:
I also have thought about contacting her father who lives abroad and telling him he needs to come and rescue her but he is oblivious to her drug use and frequently sends cheques that get spent on nothing but drugs.
If she doesn't get the money legitimately where d'you think she'll get it from if she doesn't give up?simon1987 said:
She has had a privileged up bringing and is a genuinely nice person but her life consumed with taking drugs and doing what needs to be done to get more money for more drugs. But inbetween the drug highs and getting the reattles, in those brief moments of clarity I can see she is still there inside and what an incredible shame it is.
But you're doing this for purely altruistic reasons, right?hman said:
This woked for one of my friends.
Organised for his dealer to come to his house,
Explained to his dealer that he was trying to kick the habit, and that I am going to be helping him
Ascertained that nothing was owed to the dealer
Told the dealer that I would be taking my mate away for 2 weeks to straighten him out.
Dealer agreed to not offer drugs to him on his return (he was a bad payer anyway apparently)
Took mate on holiday to cyprus, he met a girl , so did I (now my wife) - he hasnt touched hard drugs since.
The compromise os that he still smokes weed - thats better than crack I suppose.
I'm not doubting it but I find it funny his dealer turned up to be told not to sell him drugs on his return and just went "yep, sure.". Organised for his dealer to come to his house,
Explained to his dealer that he was trying to kick the habit, and that I am going to be helping him
Ascertained that nothing was owed to the dealer
Told the dealer that I would be taking my mate away for 2 weeks to straighten him out.
Dealer agreed to not offer drugs to him on his return (he was a bad payer anyway apparently)
Took mate on holiday to cyprus, he met a girl , so did I (now my wife) - he hasnt touched hard drugs since.
The compromise os that he still smokes weed - thats better than crack I suppose.
simon1987 said:
She takes crack and heroin. I want to help her but I am not sure what I can do. She has had appointments made for her for substance abuse assessments because she says she wants to go on opium blockers rather than methadone and if she isnt on the gear she wont want to take crack. But she fails to keep the appointments and always rearranges them.
Then she is not serious about giving up. What she tells you is irrelevant. The only thing that speaks is action. If they aren't serious about changing the you cannot do anything for them. If she wants to give up narcotics anonymous is the best first step, real people who have been there themselves are harder to ignore and can offer real advice that has worked for them.simon1987 said:
If she goes to the assessment and gets a script for blockers should I let her stay with me while she goes through withdrawal? She can score drugs within 5 minutes of her house and her flat mate is a long time drug user as well (25 years) so I think the chances of him getting clean are slim and living in the same house it will be easy to give in to temptation.
And how long will it take her to get on a bus or pick up the phone and score from your place? She has money she can afford to rent somewhere better. If she won't spend her money on that fundamental requirement to help her get clean then she isn't serious. If she is angling to stay with you, ask yourself why. And no she doesn't fancy you, you just look like a soft touch who will cover her rent if she overspends on crack one weekend. If she really wants to give up drugs and she is receiving cheques on top of wages / dole she can afford to rent somewhere else, she doesn't need to stay with you.simon1987 said:
How long does it take for someone to get off the gear? Does anyone have any experience in this?
Physical addiction to most chemicals takes a few days, maybe a week or so for alcohol which is generally considered toughest. The mental issues which drive addiction tend to be deep rooted emotional issues, which could take years to resolve through counselling. These issues are typically what drive addictive behaviour, and without resolving them, the addiction will return or mutate - one substance or behaviour swapped for another. Don't underestimate the chances of getting clean in the first place. I had a mate go through the priory which prides itself on amazing facilities and incredibly good staff, one of the senior staff there commented to me that in reality only around a third of patients they see the first time will get clean, and for many it will take multiple attempts to stop. And that was of those who voluntarily admitted themselves to a first class facility and were prepared to pay upwards of 20k out of their own pockets. Factor again that many will only get clean for a period of time then relapse.
simon1987 said:
I also have thought about contacting her father who lives abroad and telling him he needs to come and rescue her but he is oblivious to her drug use and frequently sends cheques that get spent on nothing but drugs.
Drying up the money may hasten her realisation that she needs to stop. It will also make her circumstances more difficult and potentially accelerate her hitting some kind of rock bottom where reality may just dawn and trigger a change. it could just mean she becomes a hooker instead. It's up to her if she is going to stop, if her health, ability to hold down a no, have a nice life etc haven't stopped her yet, will a little financial difficulty stop her? On the other hand if her father is unaware he is facilitating her drug use I'm sure he would be devastated.simon1987 said:
She has had a privileged up bringing and is a genuinely nice person but her life consumed with taking drugs and doing what needs to be done to get more money for more drugs. But inbetween the drug highs and getting the reattles, in those brief moments of clarity I can see she is still there inside and what an incredible shame it is.
Do not make the assumption you can save her. You can not. Only she can save herself if she wants to. If she doesn't get up in the morning and make the call to get help, check into rehab or walk into a meeting of narcotics anonymous or similar option, nothing you do will make a blind bit of difference and she isn't someone you can have a meaningful relationship with on any level.On the other hand look at the best possible scenario. She gets clean, she gets therapy and sorts out her demons, she lives a model sober life with no booze cigarettes drugs (illegal or prescription) does not channel her addictive behaviour into food or sex and hasn't already caused herself long term physical or mental damage. Will she still be the same person? I'm afraid to say she won't be what you think or would hope right now. So even given the best possible outcome, you have no idea what you are getting into, or if you would want it.
Is it impossible you could live happily ever after - no, but if you are considering it still, then I recommend you get your head examined, suggest you read up on codependency.
She doesn't sound very ready to try and stop, really. Not in terms of keeping appointments so much (lots of people are bad at stuff like that and most of them aren't addicts) but just generally doesn't sound sorted out enough.
I do agree that her dad needs to know and I'd definitely contact one of my mates' parents in a similar situation, if I had the opportunity to.
I think that having her to stay might make you both vulnerable to the results of her poor decision making.
Can you help her to get to a clinic appointment - pick her up or something - as a first step maybe?
I do agree that her dad needs to know and I'd definitely contact one of my mates' parents in a similar situation, if I had the opportunity to.
I think that having her to stay might make you both vulnerable to the results of her poor decision making.
Can you help her to get to a clinic appointment - pick her up or something - as a first step maybe?
This will definitely be one of those situautions where 'a friend in need is a pain in the arse'.
You need to take a big step back and assess why you are doing this, there is a real chance that you will end up in a hellish situation and have no recourse but to throw her out (she has not shown any commitment to quitting), chucking her out will bring shed loads of guilt and trouble down on your head, profesional help is the best way.
You need to take a big step back and assess why you are doing this, there is a real chance that you will end up in a hellish situation and have no recourse but to throw her out (she has not shown any commitment to quitting), chucking her out will bring shed loads of guilt and trouble down on your head, profesional help is the best way.
Centurion07 said:
hman said:
This woked for one of my friends.
Organised for his dealer to come to his house,
Explained to his dealer that he was trying to kick the habit, and that I am going to be helping him
Ascertained that nothing was owed to the dealer
Told the dealer that I would be taking my mate away for 2 weeks to straighten him out.
Dealer agreed to not offer drugs to him on his return (he was a bad payer anyway apparently)
Took mate on holiday to cyprus, he met a girl , so did I (now my wife) - he hasnt touched hard drugs since.
The compromise os that he still smokes weed - thats better than crack I suppose.
I'm not doubting it but I find it funny his dealer turned up to be told not to sell him drugs on his return and just went "yep, sure.". Organised for his dealer to come to his house,
Explained to his dealer that he was trying to kick the habit, and that I am going to be helping him
Ascertained that nothing was owed to the dealer
Told the dealer that I would be taking my mate away for 2 weeks to straighten him out.
Dealer agreed to not offer drugs to him on his return (he was a bad payer anyway apparently)
Took mate on holiday to cyprus, he met a girl , so did I (now my wife) - he hasnt touched hard drugs since.
The compromise os that he still smokes weed - thats better than crack I suppose.
According to a documentary by Ewan McGregor I watched and another short program based on a Manchester estate, you need to lock her in a room with a tin of beans and a bed pan. Neither program mentioned it, but some water may be also required to maintain sufficient hydration.
Alternatively I have a number for "Big Tim".
Alternatively I have a number for "Big Tim".
Unfortunately, people do become products of their environments.
WIth easily accessible drugs nearby, and possibly little else in their lives, what are they to do?
Short of getting her out of her place and well away from it long term, there's little hope other than her own hope, which doesn't appear to be there.
Personally, if it were a friend of mine, i'd lock them up and make them go cold turkey.
Then take them on holiday as a reward.
WIth easily accessible drugs nearby, and possibly little else in their lives, what are they to do?
Short of getting her out of her place and well away from it long term, there's little hope other than her own hope, which doesn't appear to be there.
Personally, if it were a friend of mine, i'd lock them up and make them go cold turkey.
Then take them on holiday as a reward.
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