Friend talking of suicide...
Discussion
A friend of mine is talking of suicide. She's 48, with a pretty bad life story.
We mostly converse by email (between 10 and 30 a day), and I know that she's got mental health problems - currently on antipsychotics and anti-depressants. She saw doctor 2 weeks ago, and he just keeps prescribing the meds.
She lost her job a few weeks back, and has just been dumped, so she's in a pretty bad state.
I know that she's taken an overdose before, but I didn't know her back then, so I've no idea if it was a serious attempt.
Lunchtime, she emailed me to say that she would be a bit quiet for a while, as she had problems, and was struggling to deal with them. She couldn't talk, as her youngest was home from university.
She also said that she couldn't really talk to me, as I might take it all the wrong way, and blank her.
She won't talk to her family about personal stuff, and keeps saying she doesn't have any friends to talk to.
Put me on the spot a bit, but I asked her what the problem was. Doomed love affair (not with me, BTW), and she's going to "get her affairs in order" as soon as her son leaves in a few days, then do herself in.
Talked about someone she knows who will take her dog, and once he's looked after, she just wants to go to sleep forever.
Could all be BS, could be for real, I really don't know.
Since she's already on meds, and gets DLA because of a previous breakdown, I assume that she's known to "the authorities".
Is there someone I can call?
I don't know her family, and she lives 250 miles away.
We mostly converse by email (between 10 and 30 a day), and I know that she's got mental health problems - currently on antipsychotics and anti-depressants. She saw doctor 2 weeks ago, and he just keeps prescribing the meds.
She lost her job a few weeks back, and has just been dumped, so she's in a pretty bad state.
I know that she's taken an overdose before, but I didn't know her back then, so I've no idea if it was a serious attempt.
Lunchtime, she emailed me to say that she would be a bit quiet for a while, as she had problems, and was struggling to deal with them. She couldn't talk, as her youngest was home from university.
She also said that she couldn't really talk to me, as I might take it all the wrong way, and blank her.
She won't talk to her family about personal stuff, and keeps saying she doesn't have any friends to talk to.
Put me on the spot a bit, but I asked her what the problem was. Doomed love affair (not with me, BTW), and she's going to "get her affairs in order" as soon as her son leaves in a few days, then do herself in.
Talked about someone she knows who will take her dog, and once he's looked after, she just wants to go to sleep forever.
Could all be BS, could be for real, I really don't know.
Since she's already on meds, and gets DLA because of a previous breakdown, I assume that she's known to "the authorities".
Is there someone I can call?
I don't know her family, and she lives 250 miles away.
Good to know that I can speak to Samaritans, and they will call her. I can't see her calling them herself.
I've had a few more emails, and I think the problem was that she felt good a couple of days ago, so she stopped taking her meds. She got moody, upset her "boyfriend", who then dumped her. She's back on them again now, so she should be stable again.
I've had a few more emails, and I think the problem was that she felt good a couple of days ago, so she stopped taking her meds. She got moody, upset her "boyfriend", who then dumped her. She's back on them again now, so she should be stable again.
Just in case this crops up again, or it comes up in someone's search.
This is just my personal experiences of helping friends in the past; When someone is talking about suicide, it is usually a cry for help, and they are not in imminent danger. They may be looking for another person to tell them to get help, and need help to get it, but are in need of a nudge in the right direction. Sadly, when someone really is suicidal, and intends doing something there and then, then they won't mention it.
There are some drama queens out there who will talk about suicide, with no intention of doing anything other than getting attention. All I would say is, err on the side of caution and do what you can to get them professional help. I have had to make some difficult phone calls late at night, to police, social services etc at the other end of the country. It wasn't easy and I felt like I might sound a fool or like a malicious caller, but the alternative was to do nothing. The people at the emergency services are pretty perceptive, and if you are up-front giving your own details and (so far as you can) those of the other person, they will treat you seriously.
This is just my personal experiences of helping friends in the past; When someone is talking about suicide, it is usually a cry for help, and they are not in imminent danger. They may be looking for another person to tell them to get help, and need help to get it, but are in need of a nudge in the right direction. Sadly, when someone really is suicidal, and intends doing something there and then, then they won't mention it.
There are some drama queens out there who will talk about suicide, with no intention of doing anything other than getting attention. All I would say is, err on the side of caution and do what you can to get them professional help. I have had to make some difficult phone calls late at night, to police, social services etc at the other end of the country. It wasn't easy and I felt like I might sound a fool or like a malicious caller, but the alternative was to do nothing. The people at the emergency services are pretty perceptive, and if you are up-front giving your own details and (so far as you can) those of the other person, they will treat you seriously.
whilst it is true that a number of people who are serious about committing suicide will give no prior warning, one of the ways a health professional checks the validity of a suicide claim is by asking the person if they have thought how they will do it. If the person has a sufficient plan in place, then it is taken as a serious risk to life.
I hope your friend gets the support they need OP.
I hope your friend gets the support they need OP.
A friend of mine committed suicide on February 13th this year.
From personal experience, DO NOT dismiss anything. My mate was a happy guy, very outgoing, but had mentioned to a couple of other friends whilst drunk that he contemplated it.
I was speaking to him at lunch time, he was a bit down, I tried to say all would be okay. Next morning he hanged himself.
Help this person. If you can take them in your home, might well be worth doing until you can assess them better.
From personal experience, DO NOT dismiss anything. My mate was a happy guy, very outgoing, but had mentioned to a couple of other friends whilst drunk that he contemplated it.
I was speaking to him at lunch time, he was a bit down, I tried to say all would be okay. Next morning he hanged himself.
Help this person. If you can take them in your home, might well be worth doing until you can assess them better.
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