Uh oh... Dad has had a stroke....
Discussion
What to say? I barely know where to begin.
Just an utterly f**ked up family situation where there has been no contact for the last year or two.
However the old man had a stroke a few days ago. He's 79 years old and strong as an ox and was riding his horse every day, until... suffering a stroke.
So, we've done the initial contact now, my sister is flying over from America and arrives on Sunday - you know just in case....
Last night he called me from his hospital bed more times than he's ever called me over the last 10 years. Utterly delusional he was.... sounded at lot like kids that had OD'd at a rave... and so....
ACTUALLY instead of weeping about all of this circumstance, what I really need is a few ideas of/for fun stuff to do with him whilst he's in hospital. He's back on target now, he's utterly A1 in regards of mental capacity but is pretty numb/paralysed on his entire left side.
I'm thinking learning juggling might help....
or something... maybe Connect-4..., Cribbage, Snap, Chess? The poor fella is bored to tears!
What the f**k am I to do?
(and yes I have already advised him that he's bloody lucky to still have full function of his right hand and if he can only get his left hand working a bit more it should feel like someone else is doing it!)
Any kids of stroke parent victims here? I'd really like some advice.
Thanks
Just an utterly f**ked up family situation where there has been no contact for the last year or two.
However the old man had a stroke a few days ago. He's 79 years old and strong as an ox and was riding his horse every day, until... suffering a stroke.
So, we've done the initial contact now, my sister is flying over from America and arrives on Sunday - you know just in case....
Last night he called me from his hospital bed more times than he's ever called me over the last 10 years. Utterly delusional he was.... sounded at lot like kids that had OD'd at a rave... and so....
ACTUALLY instead of weeping about all of this circumstance, what I really need is a few ideas of/for fun stuff to do with him whilst he's in hospital. He's back on target now, he's utterly A1 in regards of mental capacity but is pretty numb/paralysed on his entire left side.
I'm thinking learning juggling might help....
or something... maybe Connect-4..., Cribbage, Snap, Chess? The poor fella is bored to tears!
What the f**k am I to do?
(and yes I have already advised him that he's bloody lucky to still have full function of his right hand and if he can only get his left hand working a bit more it should feel like someone else is doing it!)
Any kids of stroke parent victims here? I'd really like some advice.
Thanks
TheExcession said:
Any kids of stroke parent victims here? I'd really like some advice.
Yep - but we were much luckier in that mum had a relatively minor one compared. She lost some fine motor detail on her right side, and speech is still slurred but everything else came back. You have my sympathy however, it's difficult wanting to help, but parents still wanting to be parents etc.! Mum was fairly easy to keep occupied as she always quite enjoyed sitting doing puzzles/crosswords/jigsaws anyway. Similar but not a stroke, when dad was ill (brain tumours) it was the engaging things that he could still coordinate that helped him the most - can you get away with remote control cars where he is?
Best of luck with it!
As an aside, my wife has been on an Acute Stroke Ward for 18 weeks, with an early month-long return trip to ICU and HDU, but she's getting there now. This is an aside as her main problem is massive brain damage from Meningitis (rather than a stroke, though she has had one of those too) - but she's getting there, and while she's totally dependent (and until recently has been totally consciously unable to move from the neck down) she's making slow but steady progress now (to the point we are now about to start planning for her return home with total care input). I can sympathesize with fellow visitors on that ward - it's a hell of a roller coaster journey, especially for those visiting older patients, and very hard work with the visiting and all that stuff.
One thing I've noticed is that a few of the visitors to patients on my wife's 'bay' bring playing cards and party games - one relatively younger lady in particular really comes to life playing cards for loose change with her visitors as well as Connect 7 (she's otherwise pretty inert when there aren't any visitors). I would say it's a case of saying how the patient (one's relative, let's be honest
) responds best, to the point of asking they what they want rather than assuming 
- this latter is IMPORTANT!
If one does nothing else, do NOT talk to the patient as if they are a child/toddler - there is nothing more guaranteed to demoralise and demotivate them than this - but speak to and with them as the adult they were before their Stroke (which, of course, they hopefully still are - my wife is 100% present, she just can't communicate past yes/no with her eyes and nods/shakes of the head as well as 'knowing looks', but there are plans for a Stephen Hawking-style 'switch' machine so she can speak)...
And - this is a second if one is only going to do two things - ask to speak to the local Stroke Association people who will/should visit the ward regularly, and get their information pack - and read it!
Good luck, OP
- and feel free to PM me if you like .
One thing I've noticed is that a few of the visitors to patients on my wife's 'bay' bring playing cards and party games - one relatively younger lady in particular really comes to life playing cards for loose change with her visitors as well as Connect 7 (she's otherwise pretty inert when there aren't any visitors). I would say it's a case of saying how the patient (one's relative, let's be honest
) responds best, to the point of asking they what they want rather than assuming - this latter is IMPORTANT!If one does nothing else, do NOT talk to the patient as if they are a child/toddler - there is nothing more guaranteed to demoralise and demotivate them than this - but speak to and with them as the adult they were before their Stroke (which, of course, they hopefully still are
- my wife is 100% present, she just can't communicate past yes/no with her eyes and nods/shakes of the head as well as 'knowing looks', but there are plans for a Stephen Hawking-style 'switch' machine so she can speak)... And - this is a second if one is only going to do two things - ask to speak to the local Stroke Association people who will/should visit the ward regularly, and get their information pack
- and read it! Good luck, OP
- and feel free to PM me if you like .Thanks everyone, there's some good stuff there to think about.
Latest is that he's been moved to specialist unit now so out of the usual hospital arena (which frankly sucked in care terms).
Seems he's making good progress, they are giving him physio twice a day and he's now able to walk assisted to the communal table for his meals.
Really appreciate the posts above.
Latest is that he's been moved to specialist unit now so out of the usual hospital arena (which frankly sucked in care terms).
Seems he's making good progress, they are giving him physio twice a day and he's now able to walk assisted to the communal table for his meals.
Really appreciate the posts above.
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