Teenagers "self harming"
Discussion
I know at least 5 kids within friend/family circle that are currently self harming, ranging from pinching themselves to leave bruises, up to taking a pile of pills.
I have no understanding of it whatsoever, other than the upset of their parents.
Does it seem to be the new "Tantrum" or getting p!ssed or is this too shallow a view?
When we were kids if you were upset you bought 4 cans of special brew, and had a gas with your mates.
Can anyone please provide a rationale or resource that I could read to try to understand and help.
The kids range from outwardly normal with a 2.1 nuclear family to single parent within a new relationship. No defining demographic as such.
I have no understanding of it whatsoever, other than the upset of their parents.
Does it seem to be the new "Tantrum" or getting p!ssed or is this too shallow a view?
When we were kids if you were upset you bought 4 cans of special brew, and had a gas with your mates.
Can anyone please provide a rationale or resource that I could read to try to understand and help.
The kids range from outwardly normal with a 2.1 nuclear family to single parent within a new relationship. No defining demographic as such.
Slyjoe said:
I know at least 5 kids within friend/family circle that are currently self harming, ranging from pinching themselves to leave bruises, up to taking a pile of pills.
I have no understanding of it whatsoever, other than the upset of their parents.
Does it seem to be the new "Tantrum" or getting p!ssed or is this too shallow a view?
When we were kids if you were upset you bought 4 cans of special brew, and had a gas with your mates.
Can anyone please provide a rationale or resource that I could read to try to understand and help.
The kids range from outwardly normal with a 2.1 nuclear family to single parent within a new relationship. No defining demographic as such.
yes.I have no understanding of it whatsoever, other than the upset of their parents.
Does it seem to be the new "Tantrum" or getting p!ssed or is this too shallow a view?
When we were kids if you were upset you bought 4 cans of special brew, and had a gas with your mates.
Can anyone please provide a rationale or resource that I could read to try to understand and help.
The kids range from outwardly normal with a 2.1 nuclear family to single parent within a new relationship. No defining demographic as such.
they're not allowed to be bored and are given the false expectation of fame and wealth. i fear todays youth will never experience the joy of finding a stick shaped like a gun.
VinceFox said:
yes.
they're not allowed to be bored and are given the false expectation of fame and wealth. i fear todays youth will never experience the joy of finding a stick shaped like a gun.
I can see a mac10 and a 1911 in that lot! I think kids have way to much now, to much technology, to much tv, to much pressure to fit in and become the best. We had no self harming at school, the other kids gave you a kickin, it's an odd world now they're not allowed to be bored and are given the false expectation of fame and wealth. i fear todays youth will never experience the joy of finding a stick shaped like a gun.
Slyjoe said:
I know at least 5 kids within friend/family circle that are currently self harming, ranging from pinching themselves to leave bruises, up to taking a pile of pills.
I have no understanding of it whatsoever, other than the upset of their parents.
Does it seem to be the new "Tantrum" or getting p!ssed or is this too shallow a view?
When we were kids if you were upset you bought 4 cans of special brew, and had a gas with your mates.
Can anyone please provide a rationale or resource that I could read to try to understand and help.
The kids range from outwardly normal with a 2.1 nuclear family to single parent within a new relationship. No defining demographic as such.
A certain web page I frequent has lots of pics of some nutter girl 'self harming'. It is enough to make you hurl, great strips of flesh missing, cuts down to the bone, Jaysus H Christ. I have no understanding of it whatsoever, other than the upset of their parents.
Does it seem to be the new "Tantrum" or getting p!ssed or is this too shallow a view?
When we were kids if you were upset you bought 4 cans of special brew, and had a gas with your mates.
Can anyone please provide a rationale or resource that I could read to try to understand and help.
The kids range from outwardly normal with a 2.1 nuclear family to single parent within a new relationship. No defining demographic as such.
Maybe if these kids saw the pics they might stop thinking it is so cool?
King Herald said:
great strips of flesh missing, cuts down to the bone, Jaysus H Christ.
The one that bugging me is a relative pinching himself causing bruises because his mums taken his ipod off of him. No great hill of beans to us, but its causing her lots of distress. 
I want to punch him, not sympathise.
Slyjoe said:
The one that bugging me is a relative pinching himself causing bruises because his mums taken his ipod off of him. No great hill of beans to us, but its causing her lots of distress.
I want to punch him, not sympathise.
That's just a spoilt bI want to punch him, not sympathise.
d. I see it a lot with kids when the lavish toys they have are removed for poor behaviour. Kids don't understand the value of things, especially familyVinceFox said:
Self harming is a trend that has been growing for some years now amongst teenagers. There are a number of websites dedicated to it with kids detailing what they do and why.
One of the ways of dealing with it is to provide distractions for the "cutter". Encourage them to take up a sport, watch their favourite funny movies with them, maybe get them to volunteer somewhere. It is about building self worth in a world which tends to make them feel they are not good enough. The get famous quick world of today coupled with teenage hormones is a potential disaster and a lot of children struggle.
I'm afraid it's way more complex than some of the comments above. I have a teenager daughter with an eating disorder. They are very misunderstood and the mortality rate is scarily high. The feeling of helplessness is truly draining. She has a tendancy to cut herself as a punishment if she thinks she has eaten too much, even though she is tiny. Try reading about how serious anorexia is before you become too judgemental. Until I was thrust into the middle of it, I really had no idea.
Slyjoe]attnunn said:
its about control
I just don't get that. I keep reading that and it makes no sense to me.It's a means of ascerting ones physical nature, withdrawing into self for protection.
Slyjoe said:
I just don't get that. I keep reading that and it makes no sense to me.
The control aspect is quite complex but accurate.They have no control over the changes going on in their body, they may not understand their feelings properly and find them difficult to control (do you remember how intense teenage "love" felt?), they can struggle with playground politics and bullying. They may be doing poorly in a subject at school and feel they have no way of making it better (again seen as a control issue).
Then all of a sudden they find something that they can do all by themselves, only they can decide whether it happens or not, there are no adults involved, no teachers etc and it gives them a release.
This can manifest as an eating disorder or self harm. They learn to associate the pain of cutting themselves with a feeling of release and all the anxiety goes away (for a short time).
They come to associate this with pleasure and it then becomes quite addictive for the person and the cycle begins.
Slyjoe said:
mattnunn said:
its about control
I just don't get that. I keep reading that and it makes no sense to me.We did not evolve for young adults to be alone in their bedrooms with their gadgets.
Munter said:
Apart from the ones who hung themselves, took overdoses, and gassed themselves in the family garage with the car.
Ahh the 90s
Jumping off the Wallace Monument was quite a common one that I heard about back then Ahh the 90s
My sister went through a bout of anorexia a few years ago although didn't self harm in any other way. Our parents divorced, everything was fairly easy for us and we were old enough to understand and support them both. I was pleased for them because I could see how much happier they were going to be apart. My sister seemed to handle it differently as if she was going to lose out on something.
She never did lose out and I still find myself very frustrated at her for not tackling her feelings in a more direct way - we're a very open and approachable family.
Fozziebear said:
Slyjoe said:
The one that bugging me is a relative pinching himself causing bruises because his mums taken his ipod off of him. No great hill of beans to us, but its causing her lots of distress.
I want to punch him, not sympathise.
That's just a spoilt bI want to punch him, not sympathise.
d. I see it a lot with kids when the lavish toys they have are removed for poor behaviour. Kids don't understand the value of things, especially familyForget all the psycho babble, sometimes a bloody good slap works fine.
King Herald said:
I think if you openly split your sides laughing at him for being such a tosser of a tool, in front of other people, he'd get a little embarrassed and stop doing it.
Forget all the psycho babble, sometimes a bloody good slap works fine.
Sometimes ignorring an attention seeker is the best way to go...Forget all the psycho babble, sometimes a bloody good slap works fine.
doh...
mattnunn said:
King Herald said:
I think if you openly split your sides laughing at him for being such a tosser of a tool, in front of other people, he'd get a little embarrassed and stop doing it.
Forget all the psycho babble, sometimes a bloody good slap works fine.
Sometimes ignorring an attention seeker is the best way to go...Forget all the psycho babble, sometimes a bloody good slap works fine.
doh...
King Herald said:
mattnunn said:
King Herald said:
I think if you openly split your sides laughing at him for being such a tosser of a tool, in front of other people, he'd get a little embarrassed and stop doing it.
Forget all the psycho babble, sometimes a bloody good slap works fine.
Sometimes ignorring an attention seeker is the best way to go...Forget all the psycho babble, sometimes a bloody good slap works fine.
doh...
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