No light at the end of the tunnel

[The Hitman]

I'm needing some advice on dealing with an endless torrent of st that my life has turned into. I'm not going to list them all as it would take so long by the time I've finished I'll only have to add to it.

Basically, all I want is to actually talk to someone about it. Seems simple, but as always, its an unbelievably difficult thing to do.

Can't afford premium rate numbers or sessions with councilors, just want someone to confide in and to take some weight off me. Each day is getting more difficult and I'm starting to lose the will to carry on.

Some real advice would be great, rather than just trolls replying.

Thanks

[goldblum]

Please make an appointment with your GP. Ask to see a counsellor. I did, a while back, and it helped me hugely.

[harry010]

As above, go see your GP and get referred to a counsellor.

[The Hitman]

I have, it'll be a month before I can see anyone and I would really like to do something now before anything else happens that I won't be able to deal with.

[JumboBeef]

I know you said you didn't want to list your problems, but could you maybe say what one or two of the worse things bothering you are?

[Fozziebear]

Pm me mate, I'm not a councillor or doctor, but I'm happy to talk

[The Hitman]

My father has been in hospital since new year, and probably won't be home for another year. When I say home I mean the house my mum will have at that time as she's had to sell the family home to cover debts and pay bills. His company made him redundant while he was in a coma after being so close to death that even the doctors were ready to give up. And we don't expect him to regain the use of his arms or legs either.

That is, I can assure you, the tip of the iceburg.

[contractor]

Have you thought about phoning the samaritans? They deal with all sorts of issues, not just suicidal people, and are trained to listen etc.

[Baldy881]

contractor said:

Have you thought about phoning the samaritans? They deal with all sorts of issues, not just suicidal people, and are trained to listen etc.

I read this thread as I left work but was going to say this when I got chance. Normal everyday people who will listen to you and hopefully offer you guidance. My ex wife's father was a samaritan and was a really nice bloke. Got to be worth a call and good luck OP.

[steveT350C]

If you read a couple of the 'I'm an alcoholic' threads here, you will see how beneficial it is to 'open up'.

No trolls when someone is genuinely asking for help.

Fozziebear has offered you to email him. I do the same.

Please list out all the issues you have here, we will all help. A problem shared is a problem halved.


I have a degree in psychology, never practiced, but do, and have, helped people by listening and chatting.


Take care, there are some good people here who can help

[New POD]

Here's a tip.

Decide what the worst outcome of each problem might be, and every morning check that the worst outcome hasn't happened yet. And if it hasn't? Have a little cheer inside.

[SmuttyYoda]

A friend is a Samaritan, they're great people and they'd rather talk to you than the sex pests they get calling up!!

(They get a lot of sex pests who waste their time!!!)

[Zad]

It might be worth approaching the hospital chaplaincy. You don't have to be religious in any way, and usually they will realise that you aren't after that sort of support. They are experts in supporting people going through immensely stressful times and can provide a helpful ear, and they will know what support services are available, both the formal ones, and charities such as MIND, Samaritans, etc.

[markh1973]

Do you have access to any form of helpline through work. When I needed someone to talk to I phoned a number associated with our helathcare provider and had an initial chat with someone within half an hour and saw a counsellor within a couple of days.

[BlackVanDyke]

The Hitman said:

My father has been in hospital since new year, and probably won't be home for another year. When I say home I mean the house my mum will have at that time as she's had to sell the family home to cover debts and pay bills. His company made him redundant while he was in a coma after being so close to death that even the doctors were ready to give up. And we don't expect him to regain the use of his arms or legs either.

That is, I can assure you, the tip of the iceburg.

Your folks may be eligible for social housing based on that - housing associations, these days - it's a pretty bloody good way to have long-term security, but it remains someone else's job to help sort it out if stuff breaks.

It sounds like you've all been through a hell of a time with your dad. Take it from someone that's been there: it WILL get better. Not talking about his condition but your life, as a family. I've just spent 3 nights staying in North Yorkshire, only started planning it a week ago, borrowed a portable hoist, packed up the pressure care mattress and off I go. Five and a half years ago when this stuff was new to me I don't think I'd have believed that I'd ever get out of institutional care, let alone return to enjoying most of the stuff I did before, albeit with more help. If you want to talk through that side of things a bit more then feel free to email me.

On a more general note do go and have a chat to your GP and do ring the Samaritans any time you need someone to listen to you - it's what they're there for. If you're in the hospital lots with your dad you will find that the chaplains (any/all faiths) are particularly careful listeners and counsellors, too.