Warning... Do not stick fork in penis
Warning... Do not stick fork in penis
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Discussion

RogerVulva

Original Poster:

1,130 posts

219 months

Monday 19th August 2013
quotequote all
What the actual fk? I know Canberra can be a bit boring but this is ridiculous.

A 70-year-old Canberra man came to an extraordinarily painful fork in the road when he presented to Canberra Hospital's Emergency Department with a 10cm fork lodged in his penis.
The steel cutlery item was inserted into his urethra for his sexual gratification, a write-up in the International Journal of Surgery Case Reports said.
It remains uncertain how the gentleman thought that could be achieved.
The fork was not visible from the outside but doctors were able to feel it.
"The motives for insertion of a variety of objects are difficult to comprehend", the report, titled An Unusual Urethral Foreign Body, said.



Read more: http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/health-fitness/ca...

Phil Dicky

7,194 posts

292 months

Monday 19th August 2013
quotequote all
Seriously wtf...hes pushed it all the way in!!!!!!

Edited by Phil Dicky on Monday 19th August 08:22

944fan

4,962 posts

214 months

Monday 19th August 2013
quotequote all
This has to be a wind up, it is the only possible explanation.

How small is the fork, or how big is his cock for that to even work?

scorp

8,783 posts

258 months

Monday 19th August 2013
quotequote all
That would physically split most people, I suspect this isn't the first time he's tried it.

onesickpuppy

2,672 posts

186 months

Monday 19th August 2013
quotequote all
Forkin 'ell!

VinceFox

20,566 posts

201 months

Monday 19th August 2013
quotequote all
This is why sounds are cranked at the end. Probably.

DSharp

270 posts

166 months

Monday 19th August 2013
quotequote all
Oh, will have to change my plans for this evening....

What about a serving spoon?

onesickpuppy

2,672 posts

186 months

Monday 19th August 2013
quotequote all
VinceFox said:
This is why sounds are cranked at the end. Probably.
Ah, a tuning fork?

davhill

5,263 posts

213 months

Thursday 22nd August 2013
quotequote all
White man speak with forked dong.

jumpingjackdan

293 posts

160 months

Sunday 25th August 2013
quotequote all
As someone who works within the NHS strange things in holes you and I would assume are exit only areas are not a rarity.

Recent examples:

+ Coke can in ladies front bum.
+ Heinz ketchup bottle in bum (complete with condom and lube - but accidental fell on it).
+ China figurine taken out of a vicar's bum (he was most insistent the team didn't break it when it was removed apparently).
+ Spaghetti in urethra.
+ Concrete enema removed after a sex game went wrong.
+ Shampoo/Shower gel bottles and bottle caps in various places - many people appear to have the misfortune of slipping in the shower and landing square on these object, funny that.

Don't worry chaps, its only your taxes being used to fix these self inflicted conditions.....


rossw46

1,293 posts

189 months

Sunday 25th August 2013
quotequote all
Don't knock it until you've tried it.....er, hang on !

Terminator X

20,452 posts

233 months

Sunday 25th August 2013
quotequote all
Fork that!

TX.

Mobile Chicane

21,982 posts

241 months

Sunday 25th August 2013
quotequote all
jumpingjackdan said:
As someone who works within the NHS strange things in holes you and I would assume are exit only areas are not a rarity.

Recent examples:

+ Coke can in ladies front bum.
+ Heinz ketchup bottle in bum (complete with condom and lube - but accidental fell on it).
+ China figurine taken out of a vicar's bum (he was most insistent the team didn't break it when it was removed apparently).
+ Spaghetti in urethra.
+ Concrete enema removed after a sex game went wrong.
+ Shampoo/Shower gel bottles and bottle caps in various places - many people appear to have the misfortune of slipping in the shower and landing square on these object, funny that.

Don't worry chaps, its only your taxes being used to fix these self inflicted conditions.....
Do you get the "Err, I just tripped over this courgette / cucumber / light bulb / WW1 shell, Doctor?"


jumpingjackdan

293 posts

160 months

Sunday 25th August 2013
quotequote all
Mobile Chicane said:
jumpingjackdan said:
As someone who works within the NHS strange things in holes you and I would assume are exit only areas are not a rarity.

Recent examples:

+ Coke can in ladies front bum.
+ Heinz ketchup bottle in bum (complete with condom and lube - but accidental fell on it).
+ China figurine taken out of a vicar's bum (he was most insistent the team didn't break it when it was removed apparently).
+ Spaghetti in urethra.
+ Concrete enema removed after a sex game went wrong.
+ Shampoo/Shower gel bottles and bottle caps in various places - many people appear to have the misfortune of slipping in the shower and landing square on these object, funny that.

Don't worry chaps, its only your taxes being used to fix these self inflicted conditions.....

Do you get the "Err, I just tripped over this courgette / cucumber / light bulb / WW1 shell, Doctor?"
Yes, its always amusing when said item is removed and it's been wrapped in a condom. Maybe I shop in the wrong supermarket but when I buy courgettes they don't come pre-packed in condoms. Is this a new way to keep them fresh?

Mobile Chicane

21,982 posts

241 months

Sunday 25th August 2013
quotequote all
So...

How do you 'remove' it?

I'm intrigued why people go to A&E when nature would surely take its course? Or does it not work like that?

krunchkin

2,209 posts

170 months

Sunday 25th August 2013
quotequote all
Nature isn't going to take its fking course if you've got a dinner fork shoved down your Jap's Eye

krunchkin

2,209 posts

170 months

Sunday 25th August 2013
quotequote all
Nature isn't going to take its fking course if you've got a dinner fork shoved down your Jap's Eye

jumpingjackdan

293 posts

160 months

Sunday 25th August 2013
quotequote all
Mobile Chicane said:
So...

How do you 'remove' it?

I'm intrigued why people go to A&E when nature would surely take its course? Or does it not work like that?
Depending on what it is and where it is dictates how it is removed. Sometimes, forceps, sometimes, lots of lube and gloves, sometimes muscle relaxants are needed, sometimes the surgeon is needed to actually go in and get it out.

Some things won't come out naturally, we had one girl who had left something metal inside her until it started to rust because she was embarrassed to come to A&E. It is amusing hearing the excuses as to how thing get in certain places. Most are lies. There was one chap who managed to get a broom handle up his arse. On this occasion, it was an accident, the surgeon confirmed this as when he removed it there was bits of his trousers and pants up there too. Silly bugger had wedged a broom across a corridor to stand on it so he could change a bulb, the broom snapped and it went up his arse, through his trousers and pants - one in a million shot there, lol.

DukeDickson

4,968 posts

242 months

Sunday 25th August 2013
quotequote all
jumpingjackdan said:
+ Concrete enema removed after a sex game went wrong.

Regular suburban Saturday night entertainment eek


I can almost get my head around the rest by comparison - well, not really, but sound vaguely understandable by comparison.


Armageddon! biggrin

jumpingjackdan

293 posts

160 months

Sunday 25th August 2013
quotequote all
DukeDickson said:
jumpingjackdan said:
+ Concrete enema removed after a sex game went wrong.

Regular suburban Saturday night entertainment eek


I can almost get my head around the rest by comparison - well, not really, but sound vaguely understandable by comparison.


Armageddon! biggrin
Apparently the chap was with his boyfriend, fooling around with concrete and each other's arses, one thing lead to another... Unfortunately, they didn't consider that concrete in the human body sets rather quick.