Wife - Headaches and other symptoms
Discussion
I know the answer to this, but am trying to convince the OH to take it seriously as she is playing it all down at the moment and refusing to go to the Docs.
She's 31, and for the last 4-6 weeks has been suffering from headaches on and off that last for 3-5 days. They're not crushing headaches that stop her from functioning, but the usual over the counter medicines don't have any effect, and she describes them as worse than a 'normal' headache.
That in itself wouldn't worry me too much, but she's also been displaying some other traits - it could be me over analysing, or it could be something.
Quite regularly now, if she's doing something else like looking at her phone or reading, if I speak to her I get no response at all (normal for some women I know
) It's as if I'm not even there. Once she's put the phone down or whatever, she had no idea I've even spoken. Its like she can only function doing one thing at once and she completely shuts out anything else that is going on. The reason why I've spotted this is that it is out of character. We've been together for six years and she's a quite a sharp little number, you won't get much past her, so its odd that she's now showing these signs.
The final thing, and I suppose the one which got the alarm bells ringing, is that now and again mid conversation her speech can go a little mumbled, or even slightly slurred. She notices when this happens and laughs it off, but it is odd and concerning as I'm sure you'll agree.
So, I've been trying to get her to go the Docs, but shes resisting. She's putting it down to being tired - we have two children, 2 and 1, and the two year old is running rings around us at night at the moment so we are both a bit knackered! I'm just concerned there's more too it, and I don't want to find out the hard way when she falls ill and we've left things so long its got bad.
Am I being paranoid? If this was your OH would you be dragging her down the Docs kicking and screaming, or do I need to MTFU and stop worrying? Also, any thoughts of what it could be?
She's 31, and for the last 4-6 weeks has been suffering from headaches on and off that last for 3-5 days. They're not crushing headaches that stop her from functioning, but the usual over the counter medicines don't have any effect, and she describes them as worse than a 'normal' headache.
That in itself wouldn't worry me too much, but she's also been displaying some other traits - it could be me over analysing, or it could be something.
Quite regularly now, if she's doing something else like looking at her phone or reading, if I speak to her I get no response at all (normal for some women I know
) It's as if I'm not even there. Once she's put the phone down or whatever, she had no idea I've even spoken. Its like she can only function doing one thing at once and she completely shuts out anything else that is going on. The reason why I've spotted this is that it is out of character. We've been together for six years and she's a quite a sharp little number, you won't get much past her, so its odd that she's now showing these signs.The final thing, and I suppose the one which got the alarm bells ringing, is that now and again mid conversation her speech can go a little mumbled, or even slightly slurred. She notices when this happens and laughs it off, but it is odd and concerning as I'm sure you'll agree.
So, I've been trying to get her to go the Docs, but shes resisting. She's putting it down to being tired - we have two children, 2 and 1, and the two year old is running rings around us at night at the moment so we are both a bit knackered! I'm just concerned there's more too it, and I don't want to find out the hard way when she falls ill and we've left things so long its got bad.
Am I being paranoid? If this was your OH would you be dragging her down the Docs kicking and screaming, or do I need to MTFU and stop worrying? Also, any thoughts of what it could be?
Edited by wiliferus on Monday 20th January 12:33
Always good to get things checked out, if not for herself then for your children's sake. Saying that though, don't under estimate the way sleep depravation can effect people.
My OH used to work a lot of nights and days with not nearly enough proper rest. I could always tell when he was especially tired as we would be having a conversation and he would just stop mid sentence and you could almost see the cogs turning in his brain but he was so tired he couldn't function properly.
There is a reason sleep depravation can be used as a method of torture.
My OH used to work a lot of nights and days with not nearly enough proper rest. I could always tell when he was especially tired as we would be having a conversation and he would just stop mid sentence and you could almost see the cogs turning in his brain but he was so tired he couldn't function properly.
There is a reason sleep depravation can be used as a method of torture.
What sort of job does she do? Long hours and stress?
My gf I've lived with for the past 8 years or so is a senior manager at one of the big accounting firms in London and does daft hours some times. She seems to get through the week on a cocktail of coffee and nurofen and then come the weekend it's headaches/migraines and extreme tiredness.
She won't listen to any criticism though.
My gf I've lived with for the past 8 years or so is a senior manager at one of the big accounting firms in London and does daft hours some times. She seems to get through the week on a cocktail of coffee and nurofen and then come the weekend it's headaches/migraines and extreme tiredness.
She won't listen to any criticism though.
Denial is a powerful force, and it's one that controls all of us from time to time. It's just so much easier not to get health problems looked at by professionals, no need to book an appointment, turn up, wait for thirty minutes then have to explain symptoms and be examined. Plus of course, there's no possibility of any bad news!
I have quite a job to get my wife to ring the surgery but once she's done it she's usually glad she went.
Try to get her to do it for your benefit (ease of mind) if she won't do it for herself.
I have quite a job to get my wife to ring the surgery but once she's done it she's usually glad she went.
Try to get her to do it for your benefit (ease of mind) if she won't do it for herself.
Not trying to be a scaremenger but a friend's wife was complaining of frequent sore heads last year, she delayed going to get it seen to and she died of an inoperable brain tumour a few months after finally seeking treatment. I have no idea if seeing a doctor earlier would have made a difference.
However, best to get it looked at.
However, best to get it looked at.
One of my closest friends has been having headaches for months and going through the slowest referral pathway I've ever known. She collapsed at the weekend and is now in hospital having had an mri and t scan. She'll find out tomo if they're going to biopsy the lesion found. She's 34, 2 kids.
Don't mess about, go see someone.
Don't mess about, go see someone.
Edited by Rachie on Friday 24th January 06:55
Agreed don't mess about.
The Mrs had a spate of these rebound headaches that Lemmonie talked about above. GP checked it out, recognised it for what it was and now sorted.
A colleague had headaches at weekends, Dr recognised it as caffeine withdrawal, we'd just got a new filter coffee machine in the corner of the office and we were all drinking more as t was so tasty. GP again advised and sorted.
I had bad headaches which were diagnosed as extreme tiredness and stress. Final year at uni, workload was crippling. GP prescribed one sleeping pill, after a 24h straight through kip all sorted.
Another colleague ignored his, kept putting it off, delayed going to the doctor, oh it's only stress, jet lag, every excuse under the sun. Only went to GP when he had a fit and got a electrolyte type smell in his nose. GP sent him for a scan, but before his scan date, he fitted and died. PM showed massive tumour.
The Mrs had a spate of these rebound headaches that Lemmonie talked about above. GP checked it out, recognised it for what it was and now sorted.
A colleague had headaches at weekends, Dr recognised it as caffeine withdrawal, we'd just got a new filter coffee machine in the corner of the office and we were all drinking more as t was so tasty. GP again advised and sorted.
I had bad headaches which were diagnosed as extreme tiredness and stress. Final year at uni, workload was crippling. GP prescribed one sleeping pill, after a 24h straight through kip all sorted.
Another colleague ignored his, kept putting it off, delayed going to the doctor, oh it's only stress, jet lag, every excuse under the sun. Only went to GP when he had a fit and got a electrolyte type smell in his nose. GP sent him for a scan, but before his scan date, he fitted and died. PM showed massive tumour.
I am not a doctor but can these symptoms can be caused by dehydration, caffeine or tiredness or a combination of the above?
Drinking lots of tea and coffee can make you dehydrated if you aren't taking in plenty of water as well, this might explain the headaches. See if she feels any better after drinking a couple of pints of water, it might not help but its quick and free.
My wife used not to drink enough and ended up with kidney stones - not recommended.
Drinking lots of tea and coffee can make you dehydrated if you aren't taking in plenty of water as well, this might explain the headaches. See if she feels any better after drinking a couple of pints of water, it might not help but its quick and free.
My wife used not to drink enough and ended up with kidney stones - not recommended.
wiliferus said:
we have two children, 2 and 1, and the two year old is running rings around us at night at the moment so we are both a bit knackered!
I think that is enough to explain it, in truth, though no harm in asking a doctor.Ignore the stuff about tea and coffee dehydrating you, that one is worse than an old wives tale (there is some truth in some of those) - it's b
ks.Experienced (my wife -very similar bit worse) this and GP said don't worry. It was a brain tumour. If you are worried go to A&E with those symptoms they may well ( pretty sure they will) scan (cat or MRI).
If it's ok then piece of mind, if not then things move VERY fast NHS go into overdrive.
Mike
If it's ok then piece of mind, if not then things move VERY fast NHS go into overdrive.
Mike
To address some of the points raised -
She only drinks decaf tea, no sugar, always has done since she was pregnant two years ago. She has upped her water intake as suggested by me with no improvement.
Weight isn't an issue, she's 5'1 and just over 8 stone, so certainly not carrying to much excess if any!
Sex - we still manage it a few times a week, she hasn't cottoned onto that excuse yet
And she's not on the pill as I've had the snip.
I managed to get her to the Docs this morning. She's been given tramadol for the headaches, and strangely some anti depressants. Doc identified that the lack of sleep was causing a depression. I'm not convinced TBH but she's going to take both lots of pills and see what occurs.
Suffice to say I'm going to keep an eye on it as unconcerned if there is an underlying reason, the tramadol will mask that.
Thanks so much for all the advice, I will keep this thread updated.
She only drinks decaf tea, no sugar, always has done since she was pregnant two years ago. She has upped her water intake as suggested by me with no improvement.
Weight isn't an issue, she's 5'1 and just over 8 stone, so certainly not carrying to much excess if any!
Sex - we still manage it a few times a week, she hasn't cottoned onto that excuse yet
And she's not on the pill as I've had the snip. I managed to get her to the Docs this morning. She's been given tramadol for the headaches, and strangely some anti depressants. Doc identified that the lack of sleep was causing a depression. I'm not convinced TBH but she's going to take both lots of pills and see what occurs.
Suffice to say I'm going to keep an eye on it as unconcerned if there is an underlying reason, the tramadol will mask that.
Thanks so much for all the advice, I will keep this thread updated.
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