My Dad is a carer
Discussion
Contact your council community care team. There will be a wide range of care options open to you.
My mother is my dad's carer and has the following that has been put in place over the past eight years:
Help getting up in the morning and going to bed.
Two days daycare respite.
One week of respite (hopefully every year)
Help with cleaning the house.
Occasional ambulance for hospital visits.
My mother is a lot older and everything is means tested and top-up contributions are required, but it's clear that this is better than him being full time in a home.
In his case, the stroke support charities have been good as well as the armed forces charities.
The biggest hurdle in all this has been my mother and father!
Good luck.
My mother is my dad's carer and has the following that has been put in place over the past eight years:
Help getting up in the morning and going to bed.
Two days daycare respite.
One week of respite (hopefully every year)
Help with cleaning the house.
Occasional ambulance for hospital visits.
My mother is a lot older and everything is means tested and top-up contributions are required, but it's clear that this is better than him being full time in a home.
In his case, the stroke support charities have been good as well as the armed forces charities.
The biggest hurdle in all this has been my mother and father!
Good luck.
As others have said, the local community services should be able to help. I agree with what they have said (and they have put it better than I might have done).
I would only add that you try to get Attendance Allowance for your mum; and get expert help when filling in the complex form as the DWP like to turn down applications! I asked Age Concern (as was) to help when I applied for Mother's allowance and hadn't realised just how much care I had been providing - ie how much care Mother needed.
I have to admit that, when the "Social Services" came to see me about my late Mother, the first thing the man said was "Get the Allowance sorted out". The next person was a lot more helpful!
I have a friend who has Alzheimer's and has just come out of hospital after having a stroke (he was very lucky with the stroke - no signs of it now). His wife is much like your parents - almost in denial that there is a "problem" and that she/they just want to be left alone to get on with it. Nor do they want "Social Services" to come and interfere!
I reckon that they, like your parents, have paid into the scheme, so are entitled to get something back. I certainly found that our Social Services were helpful when needed and did not try to inflict anything on either of us.
I'm no expert on MS, but would suggest you try to find a support group and see if they can offer help and advice. Having others who have had similar experiences does help - and they often have social events etc which could give your father a break for an hour or two.
I would only add that you try to get Attendance Allowance for your mum; and get expert help when filling in the complex form as the DWP like to turn down applications! I asked Age Concern (as was) to help when I applied for Mother's allowance and hadn't realised just how much care I had been providing - ie how much care Mother needed.
I have to admit that, when the "Social Services" came to see me about my late Mother, the first thing the man said was "Get the Allowance sorted out". The next person was a lot more helpful!
I have a friend who has Alzheimer's and has just come out of hospital after having a stroke (he was very lucky with the stroke - no signs of it now). His wife is much like your parents - almost in denial that there is a "problem" and that she/they just want to be left alone to get on with it. Nor do they want "Social Services" to come and interfere!
I reckon that they, like your parents, have paid into the scheme, so are entitled to get something back. I certainly found that our Social Services were helpful when needed and did not try to inflict anything on either of us.
I'm no expert on MS, but would suggest you try to find a support group and see if they can offer help and advice. Having others who have had similar experiences does help - and they often have social events etc which could give your father a break for an hour or two.
Just to add to the excellent advice given above, as a carer your dad can request from social services a carer's assessment, this will identify his needs as a carer. There are two way of having this assessment, jointly with or separately from the person they care for, your mum in this case.
Since you don't have social services involved at the moment I would suggest that you go for a joint assessment first, which will consider both your mum's and dad's needs (your mum may get support that wouldn't have been considered if your dad just asked for a carer's assessment). Your dad would also be entitled to a separate assessment, useful if, for example, there are things he wants to discuss away from your mum.
Since you don't have social services involved at the moment I would suggest that you go for a joint assessment first, which will consider both your mum's and dad's needs (your mum may get support that wouldn't have been considered if your dad just asked for a carer's assessment). Your dad would also be entitled to a separate assessment, useful if, for example, there are things he wants to discuss away from your mum.
Don't know what the the initial post highlighted a specific or generic issue but do know that if you go to www.carers.org you will be able to find contact details for your local independent carers service. They will be able to help your Dad, both in supporting him personally in his caring role and in assisting in securing the necessary action from statutory services.
poolyman said:
Don't know what the the initial post highlighted a specific or generic issue but do know that if you go to www.carers.org you will be able to find contact details for your local independent carers service. They will be able to help your Dad, both in supporting him personally in his caring role and in assisting in securing the necessary action from statutory services.
That's great. Thank you. Hoofy said:
Foppo said:
I am a esophageal cancer survivor.
Wowsers. Pretty rare to survive that one isn't it? I know of about 10 people who have had it (not an ideal sample size, I admit). Not one survived it.
Foppo said:
hanks Hoofy just over 4 years after the operation.I had a bad attack a few nights ago.Acid from the stomach came up about 4 am.I stopped drinking alcohol and no food after nine pm.(The attack scared me struggled to breath)Brother had the same and sister with stomach cancer.All of us still alive only just.>
Glad to hear that there are at least three survivors - I lost a friend with it about ten years ago. We tend to forget how treatments improve in a relatively short time and need to hear about those who are doing well.I can imagine the panic after the attack - I suffer from acid reflux on occasion and that's frightening enough at times! A former colleague was pretty ill about six or eight years ago - it turns out she has varicose veins in her oesophagus and was at "death's door" for a week or two until they worked out what was wrong.
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