Mild depression?

[Dr Jekyll]

Some people at work are a bit worried about one of their team. He's getting a bit isolated, not joining in the usual office chat. Backed out of a couple of social events at the last minute for no particular reason. He lives alone and seems to have dropped what little he had in the way of hobbies because he 'can't be bothered'.

Looks like mild depression except that he doesn't seem depressed exactly, more irritable. Is it possible to suffer Depression without being obviously depressed?

Also, he's taken to getting into the office earlier and earlier, officially it's 9AM start, unofficial flextime means a lot of people get in at 8 or so and leave at 4.30, but he's signing on to the system around 7AM or even earlier, then working through till 6 because 'he doesn't have anything else to do'. Not that he's achieving any more than when he worked normal hours.

[tank slapper]

Dr Jekyll said:

Is it possible to suffer Depression without being obviously depressed?

It's different for everyone, so it's hard to take a generalisation and apply it to an individual.

This might be relevant however.

wiki said:

Dysthymia has a number of typical characteristics: low energy and drive, low self-esteem, and a low capacity for pleasure in everyday life. Mild degrees of dysthymia may result in people withdrawing from stress and avoiding opportunities for failure. In more severe cases of dysthymia, people may even withdraw from daily activities.[6] They will usually find little pleasure in usual activities and pastimes. Diagnosis of dysthymia can be difficult because of the subtle nature of the symptoms and patients can often hide them in social situations, making it challenging for others to detect symptoms.

Dysthymia is usually a long term thing, so he could be just going through a rough time over something he hasn't mentioned.

Depression can be complicated so be careful about making an armchair diagnosis. Maybe keep an eye out for him and offer help if he needs it.

[Foppo]

How old is he? Depression can be very subtle unless he wants to do his own thing.

Not joining social events at work doesn't mean a lot.Maybe he struggles to do his work going in early leaving late.He could be fed up of the office gossip.

[bitchstewie]

I guess the bottom line is "could be".

I went through something very similar recently, still do to an extent, and I could probably tick every box you've listed there.

[mph1977]

bhstewie said:

I guess the bottom line is "could be".

I went through something very similar recently, still do to an extent, and I could probably tick every box you've listed there.

could very well be

do you have Occy health ? if so get his manager to refer him to OH and they can screen him and then either offer counselling etc via the PH offering or refer / suggest he attends his GP for some SSRIs or somesuch ...

[davepoth]

Take him to a lap dancing club, that'll snap him right out of it.

It could be anything. He might be depressed, a relative might be ill, money trouble, you name it. I think the important thing is to keep engaging with him, rather than let him sit alone.

[ElektraGalore]

I think it is entirely possible to suffer from depression without people realising, I know someone who probably suffered for over a year, she didn't see a doctor because she felt ashamed and 'didn't want to waste anyones time'. During that period she often excused herself for feeling 'tired', it wasn't until I found her crying one day about something completely innocuous that it came out and we realised how bad it was.

As mentioned before keep the person engaged, offer to do something social that's not too much of a push, quick drink after work. See if he opens up at all. It's a terrible illness and not always easy to spot. It's good that you care enough to see advice not so many people do that!

[crossy67]

Might be a really silly suggestion but maybe he doesn't like the people he works with? We all like different things.

I am a man who would rather gargle diarrhoea that go to a strip club, go out and get blddered or watch a football match. As such I don't fit in well with many other men, when they all start discussing (drunkenly usually) about the footy or trying to plan a day out going on the piss and on to a strip club I just melt away into a dark corner in the hope I won't have to be confronted about my "unmanly" attitude to all things manly.

Or maybe he's introverted. I watched this and it answered so many unasked questions about my self. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pi1bDAPxoWY

Edited to add. I am happily married and have been for 23 years (to a wonderful woman called Frank lol)

[Engineer1]

He may be depressed he may be skint, he may just think you are sts he doesn't want to socialise with.

[Dr Jekyll]

Engineer1 said:

he may just think you are sts he doesn't want to socialise with.

He may well do, the point is that he used to socialise even if just to be polite, still usually agrees to socialise, but then doesn't bother. It's the change that's noticeable.

Similarly he used to be a serious golfer, handicap in single digits and playing every week. This has just stopped. I can understand anyone not wanting to play golf (I certainly don't want to). But if something that used to give him pleasure now doesn't, and hasn't been replaced, that looks like a danger sign.

You know what it's like when someone tries to have a work conversion having just had a blazing row with their OH over the phone. They are making a point of being polite because it isn't you they are angry with, but they still seem tense and distracted. This guy is now like that all the time.

[Engineer1]

OK then there is probably something wrong, I've been feeling fairly "flat" recently but I have redundancy looming number 2 kid on the way and a house that needs two incomes to run.

[eddy02]

crossy67 said:

Might be a really silly suggestion but maybe he doesn't like the people he works with? We all like different things.

I am a man who would rather gargle diarrhoea that go to a strip club, go out and get blddered or watch a football match. As such I don't fit in well with many other men, when they all start discussing (drunkenly usually) about the footy or trying to plan a day out going on the piss and on to a strip club I just melt away into a dark corner in the hope I won't have to be confronted about my "unmanly" attitude to all things manly.

I thought it was just me that thought like this.Only difference is if I get asked about football I say what I think but try to keep it light hearted.
I can't help but wear my heart on my sleeve with people I don't like.