Going off work with stress?
Discussion
In short, up until a few months ago, work was fine. In fact, things were looking very good. I was in a department I enjoyed and everything was fine and dandy. Long term career prospects looked good, the work was easily do-able and I liked it.
I'm not going into details, but something happened which turned this all around. I am subject to an ongoing investigation by work and the Police. I've made a mistake with the best of intentions, and that's pretty much it.
A few weeks after the incident, I got pulled off my department and moved to another one. The workload is higher. I work in an office full of people who aren't on the same wavelength as me. I don't like the work in this department, the shifts are different, and I'm financially out of pocket each month by a small amount. There's nothing that can be done about this as such, the company can move me as and when they like. Again, this doesn't need dwelling on that much.
A few days after the incident I felt terrible. Didnt sleep, didnt eat, and then I came round a bit. When i got moved, the same happened, I didn't eat, didn't sleep for a few days etc. I was interviewed by the Police and the case is ongoing. After being interviewed, I felt the same again for a few days.
Words cannot describe how much I hate working in this new department.
I am currently under counseling (i hate that word) but it doesnt seem to help that much at all.
A few weeks ago I started getting nosebleeds. This is rare for me. I had a run of 4 or 5 in the space of a few days, each one lasting nearly an hour. For a good 24-36 hours after these, I felt dizzy and weak. I assume it's due to the amount of blood lost.
In the last week or two, i've been sleeping normally and getting a good few hours, but the sleep has been constantly interrupted by nightmares. I've had nightmares about the Police coming and speaking to me again and saying they need to take me to prison (something which won't happen as a result of the investigation by the way). Last night I woke up 3 times during the early hours, with one nightmare being me watching someone at work getting properly stabbed in the stomach by an old woman with scissors...
Each time I wake up with a fright and feel the heart beating very fast etc.
This morning before work, I felt like I wanted to be sick, didnt want to go in and wanted to cry, but I went in anyway. Today all i've eaten is a bit of cereal and a couple of chocolate bars.
Im sure in reality, a GP would probably class me as depressed (another word I hate). I've refused to go off sick so far (I get 6 months full pay) because I think people will just assume i'm using it as an excuse for time off or am trying to play myself as the victim during the investigation. I'm also worried that senior management would see it that way, and it would be used against me in the event of any future disciplinary action. (im sure employment law means they cant use it against me, but I mean they will look less favourably on me as a person, whether they would actually admit it or not is another matter but I know how they work).
This has been ongoing for months, and if a prosecution is to be conducted, it might go on for about 6-12 months on top of that.
I'm after advice on what I should do. Talking things over doesnt seem to help any, as evidenced in the counselor part. I don't want to be in work at the moment. I feel sad and am worried this sadness might turn to anger. If it does, I'm the one who will be held responsible if i do something else wrong at work.
I felt so bad today that after work I stopped by the walk-in-centre, just to try and speak to someone for advice. I got really nervous about it as I walked in, saw there was a long queue and used this as the excuse to leave. I might make a GP appointment but im not sure.
I dont feel suicidal and don't have any self harm thoughts. So far i've been able to keep a lid on my emotions and feelings and try and stay positive, but the outlook is bleak, the whole thing is dragging on, and im struggling to cope. I f
king hate talking like this, as i've looked at people in similar positions before and assumed they were just a big soft fanny and needed to grow up a bit, which makes me feel worse, because I know people might think that about me.
I have limited family support. My parents know of the ongoings but I don't want to fully disclose the way I feel because they will get upset and worry. I've put a brave face on it for them. I don't have a partner or kids or anything and live alone, which probably doesn't help. I don't drink or socialize that much at all and haven't really got any friends to speak off. If anything, I was a workaholic, I liked it, and sometimes i'd stay behind late just chatting to people, or would help others out with their work if they were running late. Just actually being there, having a laugh with these people at work was good, otherwise I'd go home and sit around on my own, pissing about on the computer or watching TV.
I know deep down I should probably go off work. I've thought about asking them to move me back to my old department, but again, I don't want to be seen as someone who uses health problems as an excuse to get off a stty department, and people will just assume i'm "playing the game" so to speak. I'm also not really in a position to start making demands and requests, which is why i've stayed silent so far, in order not to 'rock the boat' as such.
So, apologies for the ramble, and any offered advice or personal experiences will be appreciated.
I'm not going into details, but something happened which turned this all around. I am subject to an ongoing investigation by work and the Police. I've made a mistake with the best of intentions, and that's pretty much it.
A few weeks after the incident, I got pulled off my department and moved to another one. The workload is higher. I work in an office full of people who aren't on the same wavelength as me. I don't like the work in this department, the shifts are different, and I'm financially out of pocket each month by a small amount. There's nothing that can be done about this as such, the company can move me as and when they like. Again, this doesn't need dwelling on that much.
A few days after the incident I felt terrible. Didnt sleep, didnt eat, and then I came round a bit. When i got moved, the same happened, I didn't eat, didn't sleep for a few days etc. I was interviewed by the Police and the case is ongoing. After being interviewed, I felt the same again for a few days.
Words cannot describe how much I hate working in this new department.
I am currently under counseling (i hate that word) but it doesnt seem to help that much at all.
A few weeks ago I started getting nosebleeds. This is rare for me. I had a run of 4 or 5 in the space of a few days, each one lasting nearly an hour. For a good 24-36 hours after these, I felt dizzy and weak. I assume it's due to the amount of blood lost.
In the last week or two, i've been sleeping normally and getting a good few hours, but the sleep has been constantly interrupted by nightmares. I've had nightmares about the Police coming and speaking to me again and saying they need to take me to prison (something which won't happen as a result of the investigation by the way). Last night I woke up 3 times during the early hours, with one nightmare being me watching someone at work getting properly stabbed in the stomach by an old woman with scissors...
Each time I wake up with a fright and feel the heart beating very fast etc.This morning before work, I felt like I wanted to be sick, didnt want to go in and wanted to cry, but I went in anyway. Today all i've eaten is a bit of cereal and a couple of chocolate bars.
Im sure in reality, a GP would probably class me as depressed (another word I hate). I've refused to go off sick so far (I get 6 months full pay) because I think people will just assume i'm using it as an excuse for time off or am trying to play myself as the victim during the investigation. I'm also worried that senior management would see it that way, and it would be used against me in the event of any future disciplinary action. (im sure employment law means they cant use it against me, but I mean they will look less favourably on me as a person, whether they would actually admit it or not is another matter but I know how they work).
This has been ongoing for months, and if a prosecution is to be conducted, it might go on for about 6-12 months on top of that.
I'm after advice on what I should do. Talking things over doesnt seem to help any, as evidenced in the counselor part. I don't want to be in work at the moment. I feel sad and am worried this sadness might turn to anger. If it does, I'm the one who will be held responsible if i do something else wrong at work.
I felt so bad today that after work I stopped by the walk-in-centre, just to try and speak to someone for advice. I got really nervous about it as I walked in, saw there was a long queue and used this as the excuse to leave. I might make a GP appointment but im not sure.
I dont feel suicidal and don't have any self harm thoughts. So far i've been able to keep a lid on my emotions and feelings and try and stay positive, but the outlook is bleak, the whole thing is dragging on, and im struggling to cope. I f
king hate talking like this, as i've looked at people in similar positions before and assumed they were just a big soft fanny and needed to grow up a bit, which makes me feel worse, because I know people might think that about me.I have limited family support. My parents know of the ongoings but I don't want to fully disclose the way I feel because they will get upset and worry. I've put a brave face on it for them. I don't have a partner or kids or anything and live alone, which probably doesn't help. I don't drink or socialize that much at all and haven't really got any friends to speak off. If anything, I was a workaholic, I liked it, and sometimes i'd stay behind late just chatting to people, or would help others out with their work if they were running late. Just actually being there, having a laugh with these people at work was good, otherwise I'd go home and sit around on my own, pissing about on the computer or watching TV.
I know deep down I should probably go off work. I've thought about asking them to move me back to my old department, but again, I don't want to be seen as someone who uses health problems as an excuse to get off a s
tty department, and people will just assume i'm "playing the game" so to speak. I'm also not really in a position to start making demands and requests, which is why i've stayed silent so far, in order not to 'rock the boat' as such.So, apologies for the ramble, and any offered advice or personal experiences will be appreciated.
Edited by un1corn on Monday 4th August 20:22
Firstly, please do see a GP. They see this often, and they certainly won't judge.
You asked for people to share their experiences, and I certainly don't do this lightly, but about two years ago I ended up needing a lot of help with depression. Like you, it was triggered by an incident at work where I was accused of something. My manager seemed to want to throw me to the wolves so he didn't have to get involved and I had to fight my corner up to the level of threatening legal advice.
My GP gave me fluoxetine (Prozac) which helped me while I was trying to get on top of everything else. The counseling was less useful, but it did give me some tips for managing my mood.
The big thing was that the fluoxetine gave me the time and energy I needed to fight my corner at work, which let me win my case and find a new role.
If it would help to talk about it, I'm happy to PM my phone number.
You asked for people to share their experiences, and I certainly don't do this lightly, but about two years ago I ended up needing a lot of help with depression. Like you, it was triggered by an incident at work where I was accused of something. My manager seemed to want to throw me to the wolves so he didn't have to get involved and I had to fight my corner up to the level of threatening legal advice.
My GP gave me fluoxetine (Prozac) which helped me while I was trying to get on top of everything else. The counseling was less useful, but it did give me some tips for managing my mood.
The big thing was that the fluoxetine gave me the time and energy I needed to fight my corner at work, which let me win my case and find a new role.
If it would help to talk about it, I'm happy to PM my phone number.
Have you told your GP about the nosebleeds?
Stress can cause high blood pressure, and that in combination with the noise bleeds you mentioned is a cause for concern as it can increase your risk of (mini)stroke's.
If you're not able to see your GP soon ish you can always buy one of those little automatic blood pressure cuffs from shops like boots for around £ 20, and then you can keep an eye on it at home as well.
Go and see your GP. Ask to be referred to do some talking therapy or something like that. You need to be able to talk through everything that's going through your mind and be able to disclose the stuff you don't want to talk about on here or with your folks.
Tablets will probably help (I know they've helped me) but ultimately you need to talk this through with someone and your GP can help you with that.
Take it easy,
Mark
Tablets will probably help (I know they've helped me) but ultimately you need to talk this through with someone and your GP can help you with that.
Take it easy,
Mark
GP, they won't sign you off work unless you want too.
I've had tablets, not keen but they did help short ao I could think straight (reduced panic attacks) whilst I sorted other problems.
Stress and depression are horrible things that people don't really understand unless they've been there. No shame in seeking help to see you through.
I've had tablets, not keen but they did help short ao I could think straight (reduced panic attacks) whilst I sorted other problems.
Stress and depression are horrible things that people don't really understand unless they've been there. No shame in seeking help to see you through.
Edited by OldBuoy on Wednesday 6th August 07:29
un1corn said:
I have limited family support. My parents know of the ongoings but I don't want to fully disclose the way I feel because they will get upset and worry. I've put a brave face on it for them.
I would look at this aspect of your situation and bare all to them first. They are likely to provide you far greater support, comfort and encouragement than you'll get elsewhere.Not wanting to worry them is honourable but speaking as a parent myself, 'worry the parents" is in the job description of every child, regardless of age, so it is sort of expected. Plus, I guarantee that at some point in the future, they'll say.."why didn't you talk to us?" to which you'll reply.."I didn't want to worry you"...to which they'll say..."don't be daft...." Etc.
Go talk to them bud.
Well, I went to the doctor.
He's someone i've never seen before and he was quality. Only a young lad but proper down to earth. I was expecting some stuffy person who might look down on me but he was really good.
I went into work and told them. I said i'd stay in work if they wanted but they refused, on the basis that they cant go against a doctors order.
So im off for a few weeks. When I go back, they've agreed in principle to look at my current work load.
He's someone i've never seen before and he was quality. Only a young lad but proper down to earth. I was expecting some stuffy person who might look down on me but he was really good.
I went into work and told them. I said i'd stay in work if they wanted but they refused, on the basis that they cant go against a doctors order.
So im off for a few weeks. When I go back, they've agreed in principle to look at my current work load.
un1corn said:
Well, I went to the doctor.
He's someone i've never seen before and he was quality. Only a young lad but proper down to earth. I was expecting some stuffy person who might look down on me but he was really good.
I went into work and told them. I said i'd stay in work if they wanted but they refused, on the basis that they cant go against a doctors order.
So im off for a few weeks. When I go back, they've agreed in principle to look at my current work load.
That's GREAT NEWS; and is at the very least a little weight off the shoulders. Did the doc prescribe you with Fluoxetine or similar? I was prescribed that last year; and was very apprehensive in taking it due to the addictive nature of it. The reality for me was that it worked a treat and I stopped when I was OK.He's someone i've never seen before and he was quality. Only a young lad but proper down to earth. I was expecting some stuffy person who might look down on me but he was really good.
I went into work and told them. I said i'd stay in work if they wanted but they refused, on the basis that they cant go against a doctors order.
So im off for a few weeks. When I go back, they've agreed in principle to look at my current work load.
I bet, in hindsight, that you wished you'd gone earlier?
Also sounds good that work appear to be making all the right noises at least.
Well done
Always happy to talk if needed. Only a PM away.
You need to quit your job ASAP and do something else.
By the sounds of it, staying where you are is just madness.
It's only a job and if it's upsetting you that much you need to pack it in. It's not worth it.
I did a fairly high stress job for around 6 years, I didn't enjoy it, but it was ok, but then things started just getting much harder and more stressful. I was not sleeping properly, was getting headaches, utterly dreaded going into work and felt sick in the mornings at the thought of going in and sitting down at my desk.
I decided enough was enough and handed my notice in, and in all honestly, it was the greatest feeling ever, like a massive weight had been lifted off me. Despite having a month to go I just didn't give a fk anymore, and didn't let a single thing stress me out. I suddenly became a much happier person, sleeping well, socializing more, feeling better. Everything really.
I ended up doing a different job for a different company, and now 10 months on I'm in a better position from both an enjoyment and a salary point of view than I ever was.
Hand in that notice and get away from it.
By the sounds of it, staying where you are is just madness.
It's only a job and if it's upsetting you that much you need to pack it in. It's not worth it.
I did a fairly high stress job for around 6 years, I didn't enjoy it, but it was ok, but then things started just getting much harder and more stressful. I was not sleeping properly, was getting headaches, utterly dreaded going into work and felt sick in the mornings at the thought of going in and sitting down at my desk.
I decided enough was enough and handed my notice in, and in all honestly, it was the greatest feeling ever, like a massive weight had been lifted off me. Despite having a month to go I just didn't give a f
k anymore, and didn't let a single thing stress me out. I suddenly became a much happier person, sleeping well, socializing more, feeling better. Everything really.I ended up doing a different job for a different company, and now 10 months on I'm in a better position from both an enjoyment and a salary point of view than I ever was.
Hand in that notice and get away from it.
Well done OP for going to see your GP.
We live in a hectic and stressful World that our bodies aren't designed for so it is perfectly reasonable for it to overwhelm us sometimes and if you ask around, you will be amazed how many other people have been there too.
I had literally years of feeling like you do and not wanting to seek help but in the end I did and it was the best decision I have ever made.
It takes a few weeks for the pills to kick in fully but they are very good at taking the sharp corners off of life and enabling you to take control of your thoughts and think more rationally.
Hopefully in time things at work will get back to where they were and you can start to enjoy your job again.
One thing my GP told me, which I stupidly ignored, is not to make any big decisions while you feel like you do.
There'll be plently of time in the future for that.
We live in a hectic and stressful World that our bodies aren't designed for so it is perfectly reasonable for it to overwhelm us sometimes and if you ask around, you will be amazed how many other people have been there too.
I had literally years of feeling like you do and not wanting to seek help but in the end I did and it was the best decision I have ever made.
It takes a few weeks for the pills to kick in fully but they are very good at taking the sharp corners off of life and enabling you to take control of your thoughts and think more rationally.
Hopefully in time things at work will get back to where they were and you can start to enjoy your job again.
One thing my GP told me, which I stupidly ignored, is not to make any big decisions while you feel like you do.
There'll be plently of time in the future for that.
Edited by longshot on Friday 8th August 00:54
Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff