Post expedition blues or something else?

[vinnie01]

I rarely mention health least not on a public forum but, seeing as a great deal of you have more worldly experience than I, I need to see what peoples take on it is. The advantage of not knowing me is you wont be judging based on what you know of me.

Ive recently returned from a Science research Expedition in Indonesia, I was there for a short time of six weeks. Things at home werent exactly great before i left so the six week break was very much appreciated.

Upon returning i feel really unsettled, paranoid, and untrusting of my surroundings. If im honest i feel like i resent having to come back

what are your thoughts?

[Hoofy]

I think we need more info eg why things weren't great at home, are you living with your parents or your partner or flatmates?

[vinnie01]

Living with partner, we had a massive argument before i left about our future, been in a longterm (relative to my age) relationship, she's happy with the status quo i feel like im just idling instead of going anywhere. 6 weeks away and nothings changed its making me resent being back

[AndrewEH1]

vinnie01 said:

Living with partner, we had a massive argument before i left about our future, been in a longterm (relative to my age) relationship, she's happy with the status quo i feel like im just idling instead of going anywhere. 6 weeks away and nothings changed its making me resent being back

How long-term in years? How old are you?

If deep down you're not happy with the relationship it might be time to end it.

[Hoofy]

Or time to spice things up. Problem is that we can end up getting lazy. She might be "happy" but she might feel happier if things happened.

[vinnie01]

AndrewEH1 said:

How long-term in years? How old are you?

If deep down you're not happy with the relationship it might be time to end it.

im 29 ive been with the lass for 9 years its dawning on me that we want different things and yet psychologically she makes me feel like the unreasonable one for wanting something different

[AndrewEH1]

Hoofy said:

Or time to spice things up. Problem is that we can end up getting lazy. She might be "happy" but she might feel happier if things happened.

That too!

But if OP is only 20ish and has been in a relationship for 2-5 years it might be worth moving on perhaps. (I've just going from my perspective of course!)

[Hoofy]

vinnie01 said:

AndrewEH1 said:

How long-term in years? How old are you?

If deep down you're not happy with the relationship it might be time to end it.

im 29 ive been with the lass for 9 years its dawning on me that we want different things and yet psychologically she makes me feel like the unreasonable one for wanting something different

Certainly, if you definitely want different things, you're wasting each other's time being together.

[carinatauk]

vinnie01 said:

I rarely mention health least not on a public forum but, seeing as a great deal of you have more worldly experience than I, I need to see what peoples take on it is. The advantage of not knowing me is you wont be judging based on what you know of me.

Ive recently returned from a Science research Expedition in Indonesia, I was there for a short time of six weeks. Things at home werent exactly great before i left so the six week break was very much appreciated.

Upon returning i feel really unsettled, paranoid, and untrusting of my surroundings. If im honest i feel like i resent having to come back

what are your thoughts?

Some time ago, I spent several weeks in the Amazon trekking; when I got back into "civilization", I hated it. We landed at a pier with a TV blaring out and so much background noise, I just wanted to get back into the boat. I didn't have the issues regarding relationships but I did notice that I struggled to be inclusive into "normal" society and it's strangeness for a number of weeks. Mind you it took a while before I stopped ponging, which kept the natives away :-). So your not the only one; a lot of around the world motorcyclists end up in a similar position.

Edited by carinatauk on Thursday 13th August 00:09

[Biggles111]

A slightly random idea, from someone who has spent a lot of time in the tropics; what anti malarial were you on? Did you have any such issues whilst away? Larium used to be known for some interesting effects in some people...

[mark.c]

vinnie01 said:

I rarely mention health least not on a public forum but, seeing as a great deal of you have more worldly experience than I, I need to see what peoples take on it is. The advantage of not knowing me is you wont be judging based on what you know of me.

Ive recently returned from a Science research Expedition in Indonesia, I was there for a short time of six weeks. Things at home werent exactly great before i left so the six week break was very much appreciated.

Upon returning i feel really unsettled, paranoid, and untrusting of my surroundings. If im honest i feel like i resent having to come back

what are your thoughts?

Relationship issues aside, what you are experiencing is perfectly normal. I deploy often through work ranging from long periods at sea to land based detachments. The timeframe for these is usually anything from 3 to 6 months. I find, depending on the tempo and surroundings, it takes a good few weeks to settle back into normal life. Some lads find it very difficult whilst others don't bat an eye. Best advice, give yourself some time and take each day as it comes, if you are no better in a couple of weeks then talk to someone.