What's wrong with my mate?
Discussion
Hi all,
I have a mate I met through work. He recently lost his job & doesn't have any close Family or friends so I've kept in touch with him & pop out for a pint every now & again just to get him out the house.
Over the years I've known him I've noticed he occasionally has these 'turns' where he will be talking normally to you but then will suddenly stop mid sentence & be totally un-responsive as though someone has put him on pause. He will sit there & rub his finger & thumb together for about 20 seconds, still not reacting to anything you say & then all of a sudden come back to life. If you ask him what happened he has no recollection at all.
The reason it's become a concern (or even more so) is he had a minor bump in his car the other day & he says he doesn't know what happened. I am thinking he had one of these 'turns'. I have convinced him to go to the Doctor this week & explain about the 'turns' but as he's not really the full ticket & he doesn't recall what happens I'm not sure the message will get through to the Doc properly. I've told him he has to mention the accident in the car as, to be honest, I hope he's told he shouldn't be driving...or this is at least looked into.
A bit more info on him, he's 56 & is taking 100mg of Lithium every day. He's also had depression in the past but is now not on any medication for this.
Thanks for any ideas!
Cheers, Ben
I have a mate I met through work. He recently lost his job & doesn't have any close Family or friends so I've kept in touch with him & pop out for a pint every now & again just to get him out the house.
Over the years I've known him I've noticed he occasionally has these 'turns' where he will be talking normally to you but then will suddenly stop mid sentence & be totally un-responsive as though someone has put him on pause. He will sit there & rub his finger & thumb together for about 20 seconds, still not reacting to anything you say & then all of a sudden come back to life. If you ask him what happened he has no recollection at all.
The reason it's become a concern (or even more so) is he had a minor bump in his car the other day & he says he doesn't know what happened. I am thinking he had one of these 'turns'. I have convinced him to go to the Doctor this week & explain about the 'turns' but as he's not really the full ticket & he doesn't recall what happens I'm not sure the message will get through to the Doc properly. I've told him he has to mention the accident in the car as, to be honest, I hope he's told he shouldn't be driving...or this is at least looked into.
A bit more info on him, he's 56 & is taking 100mg of Lithium every day. He's also had depression in the past but is now not on any medication for this.
Thanks for any ideas!
Cheers, Ben
OscarIndia said:
Possibly Epileptic, Petit Mal.
I have a friend with this, if you didn't know he had it you would just think he was being a bit odd.
Certainly worth getting checked.
I was just about to post this. As a child I suffered from Petit Mal seizures. Basically, just felt like I had been daydreaming. They stopped when I hit my teens.I have a friend with this, if you didn't know he had it you would just think he was being a bit odd.
Certainly worth getting checked.
Nothing to panic about, I would think, but worth getting checked out.
ETA: Yeah, don't drive!
Edited by Timsta on Monday 17th August 12:03
I think that may well be it. I've Googled it & symptoms below are virtually spot on.
Temporal lobe complex focal seizures may include:
picking up objects for no reason or fiddling with clothing
chewing or lip-smacking movements
muttering or repeating words that don't make sense
wandering around in a confused way.
I guess the Doctor will pick up on this (if my mate manages to explain the symptoms correctly).
Does anyone know if/how this affects driving? I presume if the above happens when he is driving it can't be good. I'm sure I'm not qualified or have any right to tell him myself not to drive but I'd never forgive myself if I let him carry on as normal & he caused any accident so feel I've got to try & look into it.
Thanks for the replies.
Ben
Temporal lobe complex focal seizures may include:
picking up objects for no reason or fiddling with clothing
chewing or lip-smacking movements
muttering or repeating words that don't make sense
wandering around in a confused way.
I guess the Doctor will pick up on this (if my mate manages to explain the symptoms correctly).
Does anyone know if/how this affects driving? I presume if the above happens when he is driving it can't be good. I'm sure I'm not qualified or have any right to tell him myself not to drive but I'd never forgive myself if I let him carry on as normal & he caused any accident so feel I've got to try & look into it.
Thanks for the replies.
Ben
Sounds like it could be an epileptic absence seizure, someone I knows suffers from them and they were unaware they had a problem to begin with and having met people with severe forms of it they can often come across as a bit simple, I don't know if this from the epilepsy or just coincidental.
For an idea of what they look like (absence seizures) there was a good program on epilepsy on bbc three the other night that will still be on iplayer.
For an idea of what they look like (absence seizures) there was a good program on epilepsy on bbc three the other night that will still be on iplayer.
For anyone interested, this is a fantastic article - http://www.wired.com/2015/07/medical-marijuana-epi...
TheJimi said:
For anyone interested, this is a fantastic article - http://www.wired.com/2015/07/medical-marijuana-epi...
Thank you for that; fascinating article. Amazing to see individuals driving the progress and development of treatment. OP - hope your mate can get appropriate treatment to get it under control.
Edited by Stuart70 on Wednesday 19th August 02:13
Just a small update....
I phoned him & told him about info I had found (thanks to you guys) but he's against the idea that it is any form of epilepsy for some reason putting up various excuses such as "It's never been mentioned before" etc etc.
I tried to explain to him that it probably wouldn't have been diagnosed before as he's never reported the symptoms as he's not fully aware himself!
I can also tell he's very much against the idea of giving up driving or being told he shouldn't drive as, in his eyes, he's only had the one accident (make that 2 as I'm now sure this was the cause of another minor bump 4 or 5 years back) & he's not convinced there's something 'wrong' with him that caused it.
The fact that he's just had an accident & "doesn't know what happened" doesn't seem to sink in. Neither does me telling him he could injure someone if it happened again.
Anyway, he's going to the Doctor's today. How much he will actually tell the Doctor I don't know so will just have to wait & see.
Cheers,
Ben
I phoned him & told him about info I had found (thanks to you guys) but he's against the idea that it is any form of epilepsy for some reason putting up various excuses such as "It's never been mentioned before" etc etc.
I tried to explain to him that it probably wouldn't have been diagnosed before as he's never reported the symptoms as he's not fully aware himself!
I can also tell he's very much against the idea of giving up driving or being told he shouldn't drive as, in his eyes, he's only had the one accident (make that 2 as I'm now sure this was the cause of another minor bump 4 or 5 years back) & he's not convinced there's something 'wrong' with him that caused it.
The fact that he's just had an accident & "doesn't know what happened" doesn't seem to sink in. Neither does me telling him he could injure someone if it happened again.
Anyway, he's going to the Doctor's today. How much he will actually tell the Doctor I don't know so will just have to wait & see.
Cheers,
Ben
benm3evo said:
Just a small update....
I phoned him & told him about info I had found (thanks to you guys) but he's against the idea that it is any form of epilepsy for some reason putting up various excuses such as "It's never been mentioned before" etc etc.
I tried to explain to him that it probably wouldn't have been diagnosed before as he's never reported the symptoms as he's not fully aware himself!
I can also tell he's very much against the idea of giving up driving or being told he shouldn't drive as, in his eyes, he's only had the one accident (make that 2 as I'm now sure this was the cause of another minor bump 4 or 5 years back) & he's not convinced there's something 'wrong' with him that caused it.
The fact that he's just had an accident & "doesn't know what happened" doesn't seem to sink in. Neither does me telling him he could injure someone if it happened again.
Anyway, he's going to the Doctor's today. How much he will actually tell the Doctor I don't know so will just have to wait & see.
Cheers,
Ben
In this case I would not hesitate to act on MY SOCIAL DUTY and go to this site ASAP. Harsh for him, but it IS NOT about him is it ?I phoned him & told him about info I had found (thanks to you guys) but he's against the idea that it is any form of epilepsy for some reason putting up various excuses such as "It's never been mentioned before" etc etc.
I tried to explain to him that it probably wouldn't have been diagnosed before as he's never reported the symptoms as he's not fully aware himself!
I can also tell he's very much against the idea of giving up driving or being told he shouldn't drive as, in his eyes, he's only had the one accident (make that 2 as I'm now sure this was the cause of another minor bump 4 or 5 years back) & he's not convinced there's something 'wrong' with him that caused it.
The fact that he's just had an accident & "doesn't know what happened" doesn't seem to sink in. Neither does me telling him he could injure someone if it happened again.
Anyway, he's going to the Doctor's today. How much he will actually tell the Doctor I don't know so will just have to wait & see.
Cheers,
Ben
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andy-xr said:
I'm going back to the lithium, you know what that's prescribed for, right? So telling him he has epilepsy on top of that, might not go down too well.
A bump in a car is kind of as interesting as making a jam sandwich for dinner for him
Um, not really, no! I know, I should get more clued up on it now I've involved myself & am trying to help him.A bump in a car is kind of as interesting as making a jam sandwich for dinner for him
Your second comment could not be more accurate!
As for reporting him to DVLA, that has crossed my mind but I'm hoping the Doctor will take care of this for me....if they can do obviously, not sure how these things work.
I should probably add that when he had the other accident a few years back (with no obvious cause) someone did anonymously report his driving (probably the same way suggested here).
From what I recall he may have had some sort of assessment & then has to be assessed some way every 3 years?? I know this is very vague but I can't remember the details & you never get the full version of events from him him either.
This is definitely something I'll (have to) look into but I'll see what comes back from the trip to the Doctor's first.
Thanks for the replies, much appreciated.
Ben
benm3evo said:
Um, not really, no! I know, I should get more clued up on it now I've involved myself & am trying to help him.
Your second comment could not be more accurate!
As for reporting him to DVLA, that has crossed my mind but I'm hoping the Doctor will take care of this for me....if they can do obviously, not sure how these things work.
I should probably add that when he had the other accident a few years back (with no obvious cause) someone did anonymously report his driving (probably the same way suggested here).
From what I recall he may have had some sort of assessment & then has to be assessed some way every 3 years?? I know this is very vague but I can't remember the details & you never get the full version of events from him him either.
This is definitely something I'll (have to) look into but I'll see what comes back from the trip to the Doctor's first.
Thanks for the replies, much appreciated.
Ben
I would be mindful of the amount of help you think he needs from you vs the amount of help he wants from you. You might find that the more involved and interested you become in certain aspects of his life, the more he'll pull away. Some friendships work at 50:50, some still at 70:30, but 80:20 can be overbearing Your second comment could not be more accurate!
As for reporting him to DVLA, that has crossed my mind but I'm hoping the Doctor will take care of this for me....if they can do obviously, not sure how these things work.
I should probably add that when he had the other accident a few years back (with no obvious cause) someone did anonymously report his driving (probably the same way suggested here).
From what I recall he may have had some sort of assessment & then has to be assessed some way every 3 years?? I know this is very vague but I can't remember the details & you never get the full version of events from him him either.
This is definitely something I'll (have to) look into but I'll see what comes back from the trip to the Doctor's first.
Thanks for the replies, much appreciated.
Ben
andy-xr said:
I would be mindful of the amount of help you think he needs from you vs the amount of help he wants from you. You might find that the more involved and interested you become in certain aspects of his life, the more he'll pull away. Some friendships work at 50:50, some still at 70:30, but 80:20 can be overbearing
Yeah I take your point, this has already happened a bit. Very, very long story short, he got sacked in October last year & has literally no idea when it comes to managing his money (or lack of it). I had to sort out 'payment plans' for his mortgage, bills, food etc. Had to arrange him claiming job seekers & taking his pension early so he could hold onto his house but he would still blow what little money he had on model helicopters, 100's of CD's, watches & garden tools he never uses.It was so frustrating & we did have 'words' a few times so I had to step back & remind myself he's a 56 year old adult, not a kid & I've got no right to tell him what to do & I'm not always necessarily right!
We've got more of an understanding now, we don't talk about money! I know it's only a matter of time until he's completely skint again though & has letters threatening Court through the door.
Cheers,
Ben
Spangles said:
Those 2 sentences, as has been alluded to, don't go together.
Ah fair enough, I guess that means Lithium is used to treat depression? I know, I still haven't looked it up!He was on Lithium as well as anti-depressants (not sure what exactly) but then he cut out the anti-depressants himself which the Doctor said was OK....& he has been fine since, or no worse then anyway.
Cheers,
Ben
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