PMS problems inrelationship
Discussion
Hi
looking for a little advice.
Really struggling in a relationship (not married).
We all have our irritable times, all have our faults, etc.
But, every month, 2 days before my girlfriend has her period, we have huge arguments.
My girlfriend becomes aggressive (not physically), argumentative and generally a real pain.
She won`t let things drop and pushes and pushes until we eventually have a huge argument.
It happens with me, it happens in front of my 10 year old.
I have to ask her to leave the room when my daughter is present.
When things eventually blow over i have tried to discuss this with her.
I suggest we try and make a note of her cycle and try and be ready for it.
But she just insists that it is all me and that basically i am horrible when she has her period.
These are the symptoms i have found on the intenet -
anxiety
mood swings
tiredness
irritability, anger or aggression
depression
a loss in confidence
clumsiness
difficulty sleeping
Pretty spot on.
Has anyone any practical advice?
(i may get a lot of micky taking replies...but it is a serious question...this has been going on for years)
Thank you.
looking for a little advice.
Really struggling in a relationship (not married).
We all have our irritable times, all have our faults, etc.
But, every month, 2 days before my girlfriend has her period, we have huge arguments.
My girlfriend becomes aggressive (not physically), argumentative and generally a real pain.
She won`t let things drop and pushes and pushes until we eventually have a huge argument.
It happens with me, it happens in front of my 10 year old.
I have to ask her to leave the room when my daughter is present.
When things eventually blow over i have tried to discuss this with her.
I suggest we try and make a note of her cycle and try and be ready for it.
But she just insists that it is all me and that basically i am horrible when she has her period.
These are the symptoms i have found on the intenet -
anxiety
mood swings
tiredness
irritability, anger or aggression
depression
a loss in confidence
clumsiness
difficulty sleeping
Pretty spot on.
Has anyone any practical advice?
(i may get a lot of micky taking replies...but it is a serious question...this has been going on for years)
Thank you.
Edited by philv on Wednesday 16th March 12:00
I think many men experience this issue and live with it. You know they are acting irrationally but they don't see it at the time. Best course of action is not to rise to the argument. It can be very wearing but try not to punish her as this could further erode your relationship. Tell yourself she can't help it (which she can't) and try and smooth the passage as much as you can.
philv said:
But she just insists that it is all me and that basically i am horrible when she has her period.
This is the worrying bit. Even afterwards, when she should be sane, she's still convinced he's the problem.If you're not looking to conceive she could try one of the contraceptive pills that can also suppress the symptoms. But if she's unwilling to accept responsibility for her actions, getting her to do something like talk to her GP about it might be tricky...
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Premenstrual-syndrome...
Oral contraceptive pills
As well as preventing pregnancy, the combined contraceptive pill may help improve symptoms of PMS in some women by preventing ovulation (when an egg is released from your ovaries).
In particular, newer types of contraceptive pill containing certain versions of the hormone progestogen, such as the Yasmin pill, have been shown to be effective for treating some PMS symptoms, and may even be effective for improving symptoms of PMDD.
However, contraceptive pills don't help all women and they can have side effects similar to the symptoms of PMS, such as breast pain or a depressed mood.
philv said:
But she just insists that it is all me and that basically i am horrible when she has her period.
I used to be very slow to catch on as to why my Mrs turned mental, would take a few days before the penny dropped. Try and get her to see her GP, her changing pill has curiously made me magically not turn into an ogre once a month.
Thank you for the replies.
I will try talking about this again tonight.
But not hopeful.
Yes...it is worrying that even after the event she will not remember her behaviour as anything other than perfect.
This makes it very difficult to accept the behaviour. My normal feeling now when this happens is to want her to leave.
How can i get her to see a doctor or look into changing her pill, etc if she won`t accept any part of what has happened might be down to her as well.
I will try talking about this again tonight.
But not hopeful.
Yes...it is worrying that even after the event she will not remember her behaviour as anything other than perfect.
This makes it very difficult to accept the behaviour. My normal feeling now when this happens is to want her to leave.
How can i get her to see a doctor or look into changing her pill, etc if she won`t accept any part of what has happened might be down to her as well.
Edited by philv on Wednesday 16th March 16:34
C0ffin D0dger said:
It's always your fault whatever it is 
Just develop a thick skin / ignore it especially if you know that time is approaching.
Either that or split up
We split nearly every month!Just develop a thick skin / ignore it especially if you know that time is approaching.
Either that or split up
I actually gave her signed letter asking her to leave last night.
Edited by philv on Wednesday 16th March 16:35
philv said:
How can i get her to see a doctor or look into changing her pill, etc if she won`t accept any part of what has happened might be down to her as well.
FWIW I tried the angle of just asking her to try it, saying maybe it won't make any difference, tell the doctor you think I'm a nutter by all means, but what's the harm in trying?philv said:
How can i get her to see a doctor or look into changing her pill, etc if she won`t accept any part of what has happened might be down to her as well.
You can but ask. Offer to go as a couple to the GP and discuss it. I'd probably preface the conversation with something about wanting to make your relationship stronger.And frankly if she refuses to even entertain the idea of going for a 5 min chat with her GP in order to try and save your relationship. I'd think you can draw your own conclusions...
philv said:
Thank you for the replies.
I will try talking about this again tonight.
But not hopeful.
Yes...it is worrying that even after the event she will not remember her behaviour as anything other than perfect.
This makes it very difficult to accept the behaviour. My normal feeling now when this happens is to want her to leave.
How can i get her to see a doctor or look into changing her pill, etc if she won`t accept any part of what has happened might be down to her as well.
Could you discretely record/video her during her 'issues' and if she denies her actions, play it back?I will try talking about this again tonight.
But not hopeful.
Yes...it is worrying that even after the event she will not remember her behaviour as anything other than perfect.
This makes it very difficult to accept the behaviour. My normal feeling now when this happens is to want her to leave.
How can i get her to see a doctor or look into changing her pill, etc if she won`t accept any part of what has happened might be down to her as well.
Edited by philv on Wednesday 16th March 16:34
It would be a sharp shock and she may get upset but if it saves the relationship, it'll be worth it.
FYI, I used to have a girlfriend that would be affected heavily. She'd get incredibly depressed, suicidal almost, and go nuts at any perceived slight. I still remember vividly going to Argos to get her a new landline phone. I suggested a couple of models and she went nuts! "I know your game! You are trying to control my life!", and stormed out crying. You could have heard a pin drop and everyone was looking at me.
Made much better by coming off the pill completely.
philv said:
C0ffin D0dger said:
It's always your fault whatever it is
Just develop a thick skin / ignore it especially if you know that time is approaching.
Either that or split up
We split nearly every month!Just develop a thick skin / ignore it especially if you know that time is approaching.
Either that or split up
I actually gave her signed letter asking her to leave last night.
Edited by philv on Wednesday 16th March 16:35
She's just a girl, girls have hormone problems all the time, it's a simple chemical imbalance. Ask her to see a doctor, if she refuses, ask yourself if you want to put up with it.
If both answers are no, there's only one course of action.
SHutchinson said:
You gave her a signed letter? That sounds weird.
She's just a girl, girls have hormone problems all the time, it's a simple chemical imbalance. Ask her to see a doctor, if she refuses, ask yourself if you want to put up with it.
If both answers are no, there's only one course of action.
We splt often and then it calms down and she doesn't move out.She's just a girl, girls have hormone problems all the time, it's a simple chemical imbalance. Ask her to see a doctor, if she refuses, ask yourself if you want to put up with it.
If both answers are no, there's only one course of action.
Last night i was so pissed off i wanted her to realise i was serious in asking her to leave.
If we stay together, next time i'll have to hire a plane to write it in tne sky.
There are some trust issues now as well, which provoked that as well.
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