Deliriously happen one minute... almost in tears the next.
Discussion
Is this normal?
Split up with the Mrs back in April. My choice, we had been together for about 11 years, but she had not had a proper (ie: anything more than a short term contract) for at least a couple of years. When she did get a job, she could not hold on to it for long (sometimes less than a day) consequently this had a big impact on us financially, she had no money, so just spent mine, which will take me a good few years to recover from.
Anyway, when I found out the true extent of the cr4p she had got me into, (Experian check) I showed her the door. Should have done it years ago.
Which brings me on to my post. I now live on my own, and spend a lot of time in my office alone, and find my moods run at huge extremes. One minute I almost feel like shouting from the rooftops I am so happy, then 5 minutes later, I can be almost in tears because I am so sad and lonely.
I am trying to re-kindle a relationship with an ex, who also has had some issues, which I sure is not helping.
Am I "depressed" or is this just the "grieving" process for relationship?
Should I a) speak to me GP? or b) MTFU and get on with it?
Split up with the Mrs back in April. My choice, we had been together for about 11 years, but she had not had a proper (ie: anything more than a short term contract) for at least a couple of years. When she did get a job, she could not hold on to it for long (sometimes less than a day) consequently this had a big impact on us financially, she had no money, so just spent mine, which will take me a good few years to recover from.
Anyway, when I found out the true extent of the cr4p she had got me into, (Experian check) I showed her the door. Should have done it years ago.
Which brings me on to my post. I now live on my own, and spend a lot of time in my office alone, and find my moods run at huge extremes. One minute I almost feel like shouting from the rooftops I am so happy, then 5 minutes later, I can be almost in tears because I am so sad and lonely.
I am trying to re-kindle a relationship with an ex, who also has had some issues, which I sure is not helping.
Am I "depressed" or is this just the "grieving" process for relationship?
Should I a) speak to me GP? or b) MTFU and get on with it?
Only skimmed your post - and no offence intended.... particularly when you're feeling a bit low. But the description of your ex is almost entirely financially based - is that a good way of looking at a relationship?
If you're head over heels with a partner I'd imagine their spending habits can be controlled and ultimately forgiven. If you dislike a partner, then their spending habits come into focus a bit more quickly maybe.
Only a random thought!
If you're head over heels with a partner I'd imagine their spending habits can be controlled and ultimately forgiven. If you dislike a partner, then their spending habits come into focus a bit more quickly maybe.
Only a random thought!
NDA said:
Only skimmed your post - and no offence intended.... particularly when you're feeling a bit low. But the description of your ex is almost entirely financially based - is that a good way of looking at a relationship?
If you're head over heels with a partner I'd imagine their spending habits can be controlled and ultimately forgiven. If you dislike a partner, then their spending habits come into focus a bit more quickly maybe.
Only a random thought!
None taken. The financial was the final straw, and is therefore the most recent / relevant thing in my eyes.If you're head over heels with a partner I'd imagine their spending habits can be controlled and ultimately forgiven. If you dislike a partner, then their spending habits come into focus a bit more quickly maybe.
Only a random thought!
There was a lot more wrong than that, this was just the "straw that broke the camels back" so to speak.
Mood swings like that sound a bit like depression, are you taking on loads of new projects and schemes and hobbies and then abandoning them? That's what one of my friends does who suffers a bit from depression.
As others have said exercise makes a big difference.
I'm not sure getting together with your ex (another scheme soon to be abandoned) is a very good idea.
I think the NHS has a basic depression checklist, might be worth checking it out and speaking to a GP. Obviously nobody on here can properly diagnose any potential issues from your post though.
Hope it all works out anyway.
As others have said exercise makes a big difference.
I'm not sure getting together with your ex (another scheme soon to be abandoned) is a very good idea.
I think the NHS has a basic depression checklist, might be worth checking it out and speaking to a GP. Obviously nobody on here can properly diagnose any potential issues from your post though.
Hope it all works out anyway.
I'm not given to giving non car related advice but what I would say is this......give yourself some time, these things take time to process and your brain is catching up. Smash in some exercise, be kind to yourself and don't be too hasty to jump into another issue tarnished relationship anytime soon. Take some time to heal and when you're ready for whatever comes you'll know it.
chiswick67 said:
Is this normal?
Split up with the Mrs back in April. My choice, we had been together for about 11 years, but she had not had a proper (ie: anything more than a short term contract) for at least a couple of years. When she did get a job, she could not hold on to it for long (sometimes less than a day) consequently this had a big impact on us financially, she had no money, so just spent mine, which will take me a good few years to recover from.
Anyway, when I found out the true extent of the cr4p she had got me into, (Experian check) I showed her the door. Should have done it years ago.
Which brings me on to my post. I now live on my own, and spend a lot of time in my office alone, and find my moods run at huge extremes. One minute I almost feel like shouting from the rooftops I am so happy, then 5 minutes later, I can be almost in tears because I am so sad and lonely.
I am trying to re-kindle a relationship with an ex, who also has had some issues, which I sure is not helping.
Am I "depressed" or is this just the "grieving" process for relationship?
Should I a) speak to me GP? or b) MTFU and get on with it?
11 years is a long time. It will take a while to adjust back into being single for a start. But as you have stated it is better all round to have moved on. Split up with the Mrs back in April. My choice, we had been together for about 11 years, but she had not had a proper (ie: anything more than a short term contract) for at least a couple of years. When she did get a job, she could not hold on to it for long (sometimes less than a day) consequently this had a big impact on us financially, she had no money, so just spent mine, which will take me a good few years to recover from.
Anyway, when I found out the true extent of the cr4p she had got me into, (Experian check) I showed her the door. Should have done it years ago.
Which brings me on to my post. I now live on my own, and spend a lot of time in my office alone, and find my moods run at huge extremes. One minute I almost feel like shouting from the rooftops I am so happy, then 5 minutes later, I can be almost in tears because I am so sad and lonely.
I am trying to re-kindle a relationship with an ex, who also has had some issues, which I sure is not helping.
Am I "depressed" or is this just the "grieving" process for relationship?
Should I a) speak to me GP? or b) MTFU and get on with it?
Regarding moving on I think it would be better for you to have some time out of being in a relationship. Trying to get another ex back will only land in tears unless you have a break. I think this is rose tinted glasses about past experiences but I could be off the mark.
What I would suggest is put yourself out there for a fresh start. Perhaps put yourself on Tinder or join a new activity you many have an interest in. Meet new people and perhaps a new partner. The gym is a great start. This will help body and mind.
I don't think you are depressed. Going to the gym will be much better than seeing the GP as he/she will only put you on antidepressants. You don't need these.
Question. Do you need to be in a relationship to feel wanted? Anything in the past that may make the thought of being by yourself scary?
Just a quick update.
I think I am just struggling to adjust to the "single life"
I'm on a couple of dating sites, and spending a lot of times socialising with friends. I've found the answer is, to plan ahead, plus I have a lodger moving in next month. This is more about the financials than the company, but it'll help, none-the-less/
A couple of single friends have told me that the answer is to plan ahead, and keep busy, and this seems to be helping.
I think I am just struggling to adjust to the "single life"
I'm on a couple of dating sites, and spending a lot of times socialising with friends. I've found the answer is, to plan ahead, plus I have a lodger moving in next month. This is more about the financials than the company, but it'll help, none-the-less/
A couple of single friends have told me that the answer is to plan ahead, and keep busy, and this seems to be helping.
The lodger is probably a great start. Be very picky about who it is, as you have to live with them, but they may end up being mates and you may end up going out and doing stuff together.
I wouldn't worry about planning about things to do per se, that's a lot of pressure! But try and keep busy, even if it's Videogames that you sink hours into.
You will adjust eventually. Not everyone is set for the "Tinder/shag apps" (I'm certainly not) and wouldn't know where to start on there!
Just keep going through the motions and you'll be fiiiine.
Did you start going to the gym as well?
I wouldn't worry about planning about things to do per se, that's a lot of pressure! But try and keep busy, even if it's Videogames that you sink hours into.
You will adjust eventually. Not everyone is set for the "Tinder/shag apps" (I'm certainly not) and wouldn't know where to start on there!
Just keep going through the motions and you'll be fiiiine.
Did you start going to the gym as well?
xjay1337 said:
Did you start going to the gym as well?
Yes, I joined, had my induction, but have yet to venture back.I was not in the right frame of mind the weekend before last, and had a stomach virus weekend just gone ( these sounds like "excuses", but I promise they're genuine.
Will be there soon though!
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