OCD behaviour in toddlers
Discussion
Our toddler (3 in March) has developed some rather serious OCD tendencies. He is utterly obsessed with bins. Kitchen bins, waste bins, wheelie bins, it's just bins bins bins. If you go shopping he heads straight to the bin aisle and has to look in every one. At the self checkout he has to look in all the bins that are placed near the tills. When the wheelie bins are out he has to check if ours has been emptied and it's even got to the point where he wants to look in the neighbours bins. We live on a corner and our bin day is different to the street to the side of us so we get this twice a week. Usually the bins are emptied in the morning, if they're not he starts panicking like crazy, especially if we can't put our bin back in its rightful place. Now on bin days he stands at the front door every morning whinging to go and look at them and if we don't take him he'll either throw a tantrum or start balling. The lengths he will go to to look at them knows no bounds, this morning he picked a crumpled up receipt off my desk, held it aloft and pointed to the bins out the window. It's madness, the neighbours must think we're nuts.
My understanding is that this sort of behaviour is quite normal, that at this age they seek order and everything has to be in its rightful place and they'll often act in a repetitive manner, etc. The question is, is there any way to reduce this behaviour or do you just suck it up until he gets bored of it himself?
My understanding is that this sort of behaviour is quite normal, that at this age they seek order and everything has to be in its rightful place and they'll often act in a repetitive manner, etc. The question is, is there any way to reduce this behaviour or do you just suck it up until he gets bored of it himself?
Each and every thing they discover, they will want to do over and over and over again. Until the next one.
You could try thinking faster than he does and avoiding the triggers - like the crumpled receipt - but that is quite tiring. If you just grin and bear it it will soon be something else.
ETA - anyway, at 3 years old he'll surely have nursery soon. The new things come thick and fast and it wears them out.
You could try thinking faster than he does and avoiding the triggers - like the crumpled receipt - but that is quite tiring. If you just grin and bear it it will soon be something else.
ETA - anyway, at 3 years old he'll surely have nursery soon. The new things come thick and fast and it wears them out.
Edited by grumbledoak on Wednesday 9th November 18:37
I hate the word "tantrums". I just tried always to remember that they've only just got here and their basic state is "afraid of that". Everything single thing is scary, so you introduce them one at a time and once they get used to something they want it to stay that way. You manage their comfort zone.
Just because you know their comfort zone is tiny is of no help to them.
Just because you know their comfort zone is tiny is of no help to them.
What pains me is the distraught look on his face when we refuse to take him out to look at them. In hindsight, had I known about the details of this behaviour sooner, we should never have let him look to begin with because then it becomes part of the routine; Are the bins out? Yes! Have they been emptied? I need to check them! It's empty, they need putting back! / It's not empty, panic!
Oh, he likes keys as well. And windmills. And lights, especially lights. Street lights, car lights, ceiling lights. And the moon
Oh, he likes keys as well. And windmills. And lights, especially lights. Street lights, car lights, ceiling lights. And the moon
Oakey said:
What pains me is the distraught look on his face when we refuse to take him out to look at them.
Try to remember that he is genuinely upset.I don't understand why some parents don't get this - adults are exactly the same: when they are stressed they get irrational and when they get frightened they lash out. If a stressed looking Mike Tyson squared up to you, you would recognise it immediately and do something different. When it is a toddler people ignore it until it is too late then call it a tantrum when they "cannot be reasoned with".
I never had a tantrum with mine. The "ex" had plenty, and still does.
If your child attends a nursery then I would definitely suggest talking through this with them. They should be highly trained in things such as behaviour management which could really help you. Repetitive behavioural traits could also be an indicator of other things so might be worth talking to your GP for better advice than I could go into on here. Whatever you do, please investigate further just in case professional help is needed to get you all back on track. Good luck!
I was obsessed with tractors as a kid. Then gearsticks - would have to look at the gearstick in a car. Then automatic carwashes - not going through them, just having to check if a garage had one. I remember going to Germany and seeing a version where you drove in, then reversed out once it had finished. I was amazed. Oh and looking at yellow pages to look at the pictures of JCBs and road rollers.
I grew out of it at 21
I grew out of it at 21
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