Genital Herpes
Discussion
I've been seeing a girl over the past few weeks. It's been a slow burner but she's really nice, seems to like me and I her. She's in her late 40s, I'm in my 50s.
We've had dinner at each other's houses but never stayed over, just the odd kiss and cuddle.
She told me that there were a few things she had to talk about if we were to take it any further.
So the other day after dinner at her house I asked and she told me straight out that she has Herpes.
I was shocked but we talked about it, she said it was from a previous partner 2 years before and that she had the original breakout but nothing since but has been tested positive.
We did sleep together later but were careful, yet on doing some reading yesterday it would seem no matter how careful, one is pretty likely to catch it if you are to spend a lot of time together as sexual partners.
Also it would seem although Herpes is for life, in most cases it is a minor inconvenience.
So what I am asking here is: Are any of you in relationships where Herpes is a factor and just accepted.
I suppose if you are together forever that is fine but it's the fact that the relationship has less chance of surviving long term than the virus and trying to start dating all over again knowing one has to tell the truth before anything intimate occurs, is going to make, what I find, a nerve wracking experience even harder.
US figures have it that 1 in 5 are infected, a lot unknowingly, and even puritan me has had unprotected sex since splitting from my wife 8 years ago.
She has asked me to get checked, which of course is the sensible thing to do.
I know many won't want to, understandably, but thanks for sharing if you do.
We've had dinner at each other's houses but never stayed over, just the odd kiss and cuddle.
She told me that there were a few things she had to talk about if we were to take it any further.
So the other day after dinner at her house I asked and she told me straight out that she has Herpes.
I was shocked but we talked about it, she said it was from a previous partner 2 years before and that she had the original breakout but nothing since but has been tested positive.
We did sleep together later but were careful, yet on doing some reading yesterday it would seem no matter how careful, one is pretty likely to catch it if you are to spend a lot of time together as sexual partners.
Also it would seem although Herpes is for life, in most cases it is a minor inconvenience.
So what I am asking here is: Are any of you in relationships where Herpes is a factor and just accepted.
I suppose if you are together forever that is fine but it's the fact that the relationship has less chance of surviving long term than the virus and trying to start dating all over again knowing one has to tell the truth before anything intimate occurs, is going to make, what I find, a nerve wracking experience even harder.
US figures have it that 1 in 5 are infected, a lot unknowingly, and even puritan me has had unprotected sex since splitting from my wife 8 years ago.
She has asked me to get checked, which of course is the sensible thing to do.
I know many won't want to, understandably, but thanks for sharing if you do.
Mastodon2 said:
I wouldn't go near it again.
"it" ?That is a really tough situation, the poor lady has an incurable condition and it doesn't mean she is in some way subhuman, I can understand the concern but you need to look after yourself, if you do back out, do it delicately and cite some other reason that is perhaps more to do with you as stuff like that can really cause some bad stuff, she has been upfront so you need to be but perhaps try and protect her feelings and dignity a little.
Having had a little problem back when I was much younger with warts in that area it isnt nice being rejected due to your knob looking like a Cauliflower, and that isnt a permanent situation.
This is an interesting read: http://www.happy-with-herpes.com/dating-someone-wi...
Sadly I'm not sure that I would stay as with all the protection methods etc that site still says 3% chance of getting it which is quite high.
Sadly I'm not sure that I would stay as with all the protection methods etc that site still says 3% chance of getting it which is quite high.
a lot will depend where she gets her breakouts surely? Internal or external.
Its basically cold sores, would you not date someone who occasionally had break outs of these???
From what i know about it she will know when a breakout will occur so just dont have sex during this time.
Has she spoken to her gp about it? If she has she will likely have medication to control a breakout.
Just be adult about it all.
Its basically cold sores, would you not date someone who occasionally had break outs of these???
From what i know about it she will know when a breakout will occur so just dont have sex during this time.
Has she spoken to her gp about it? If she has she will likely have medication to control a breakout.
Just be adult about it all.
She is being very adult about it all and has the correct anti viral when she thinks it's about to flare up.
She's beautiful and a lovely person in an important job and has just been dealt a bad hand in that one respect.
Has had me deep thinking for days but to reject her on that one point seems very sad for her and for me too.
She's beautiful and a lovely person in an important job and has just been dealt a bad hand in that one respect.
Has had me deep thinking for days but to reject her on that one point seems very sad for her and for me too.
croyde said:
She is being very adult about it all and has the correct anti viral when she thinks it's about to flare up.
She's beautiful and a lovely person in an important job and has just been dealt a bad hand in that one respect.
Has had me deep thinking for days but to reject her on that one point seems very sad for her and for me too.
I think you've pretty much summed up the whole situation in your post.She's beautiful and a lovely person in an important job and has just been dealt a bad hand in that one respect.
Has had me deep thinking for days but to reject her on that one point seems very sad for her and for me too.
Go for it.
croyde said:
She is being very adult about it all and has the correct anti viral when she thinks it's about to flare up.
She's beautiful and a lovely person in an important job and has just been dealt a bad hand in that one respect.
Has had me deep thinking for days but to reject her on that one point seems very sad for her and for me too.
Could be worse, I used to get cold sores as a kid, now when I'm run down I get them on my eyeball! She's beautiful and a lovely person in an important job and has just been dealt a bad hand in that one respect.
Has had me deep thinking for days but to reject her on that one point seems very sad for her and for me too.
And yes, it hurts like f
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