Children with a severe phobia of dogs
Discussion
(hope I've got the right forum for this, as it could equally be posted in the pets one)
Hi all, wondering if anyone can advise here?
I've got three kids, two of which are 7yr old twin boys. For reasons I'm not completely sure, they're developed a severe phobia of dogs. They're quite anxious kids generally, and it's possible they're carrying a mild anxiety issue.
Their phobia is genuine. Their reactions to any dog, whether it's on or off a lead and behaving well or not are extreme. You can feel their hearts pounding, their hands clamp your hands, they scream, shriek and try to run away. They'll run into the road if we don't grab them first.
The problem is getting worse, not better. For the first couple of years of their lives, one set of their grandparents had a dog - a border collie who could probably be described as the perfect pet, who would be absolutely brilliant for them right about now, but who sadly died when they were three. When they were four or five, and becoming more aware of their surroundings, the border terrier who lives/lived next door ran out one day and tried to play with them out on the field outside our house. It jumped up, they freaked out, and my wife reckons this was the turning point. I wasn't there and my memory of events is always pretty s
t, but I suspect she's probably right.
We're going to contact the GP today, as it's become too serious to hope it will sort itself out. We can't walk them anywhere now, and it even affects them when they're doing football training at the local rec. They can't go to friends' houses if they have a dog, they can't go to other members of the family's houses if they have a dog....it's restricting their lives and putting a bigger and bigger strain on my wife and I's.
There are dogs in the family and I have friends with dogs, but none of them are the right sort of dogs to help with this. They're all yappy and will jump up and down. They need an older, calmer dog and one that they see regularly. I'm not really a dog person, but we've talked about getting one ourselves, though personally I'm concerned it would be unfair on the dog, as neither me or my wife really want a dog (although I've never had one, and it would be nice to tick a box and experience something new). But it wouldn't be fair on the dog also because we both work. It'd be on its own every day from around 9am until 4pm. Life is also very busy and there's a chance we'd start neglecting it by not having time to walk it once or twice a day (though walking it would be something I'd enjoy, personally).
The GP is bound to refer us to the local centre for CBT, and that's something I'm happy to try, but apparently the waiting time to get into it is months and months. In the meantime, I'm looking to try and find other means of professional/semi-professional help. I'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem, and what they tried. Or, does anyone know of any charities or centres where they introduce people to trained dogs in a controlled environment?
I've asked around friends before on places like Facebook, and some well-meaning ones will say something along the lines of "My dog's brilliant, you're welcome to bring them round" and while that's lovely in sentiment, the reality is owners see their dog with rose-tinted specs (I suppose in the way parents see their kids in rose-tined specs), and as soon as you go round their house, you've got loud barking and scratching the second to press the doorbell. I think my kids need trained dogs and trained people.
Can anyone offer any suggestions or advice?
Thanks
Hi all, wondering if anyone can advise here?
I've got three kids, two of which are 7yr old twin boys. For reasons I'm not completely sure, they're developed a severe phobia of dogs. They're quite anxious kids generally, and it's possible they're carrying a mild anxiety issue.
Their phobia is genuine. Their reactions to any dog, whether it's on or off a lead and behaving well or not are extreme. You can feel their hearts pounding, their hands clamp your hands, they scream, shriek and try to run away. They'll run into the road if we don't grab them first.
The problem is getting worse, not better. For the first couple of years of their lives, one set of their grandparents had a dog - a border collie who could probably be described as the perfect pet, who would be absolutely brilliant for them right about now, but who sadly died when they were three. When they were four or five, and becoming more aware of their surroundings, the border terrier who lives/lived next door ran out one day and tried to play with them out on the field outside our house. It jumped up, they freaked out, and my wife reckons this was the turning point. I wasn't there and my memory of events is always pretty s
t, but I suspect she's probably right.We're going to contact the GP today, as it's become too serious to hope it will sort itself out. We can't walk them anywhere now, and it even affects them when they're doing football training at the local rec. They can't go to friends' houses if they have a dog, they can't go to other members of the family's houses if they have a dog....it's restricting their lives and putting a bigger and bigger strain on my wife and I's.
There are dogs in the family and I have friends with dogs, but none of them are the right sort of dogs to help with this. They're all yappy and will jump up and down. They need an older, calmer dog and one that they see regularly. I'm not really a dog person, but we've talked about getting one ourselves, though personally I'm concerned it would be unfair on the dog, as neither me or my wife really want a dog (although I've never had one, and it would be nice to tick a box and experience something new). But it wouldn't be fair on the dog also because we both work. It'd be on its own every day from around 9am until 4pm. Life is also very busy and there's a chance we'd start neglecting it by not having time to walk it once or twice a day (though walking it would be something I'd enjoy, personally).
The GP is bound to refer us to the local centre for CBT, and that's something I'm happy to try, but apparently the waiting time to get into it is months and months. In the meantime, I'm looking to try and find other means of professional/semi-professional help. I'm wondering if anyone else has had this problem, and what they tried. Or, does anyone know of any charities or centres where they introduce people to trained dogs in a controlled environment?
I've asked around friends before on places like Facebook, and some well-meaning ones will say something along the lines of "My dog's brilliant, you're welcome to bring them round" and while that's lovely in sentiment, the reality is owners see their dog with rose-tinted specs (I suppose in the way parents see their kids in rose-tined specs), and as soon as you go round their house, you've got loud barking and scratching the second to press the doorbell. I think my kids need trained dogs and trained people.
Can anyone offer any suggestions or advice?
Thanks
Befriend a blind person their dogs are trained and are very placid. The only way is through contact with dogs I can't see the GP being much help. Your kids need to understand that not all dogs are going to jump up and bark you can help if they see you stroking the dog without getting bitten they might be encouraged to do the same but you need to find a dog that 100% won't get excited.
There are organisations which take (obviously well-behaved) dogs into places like old peoples' homes, because the olds get a lot of positive benefit from seeing them, stroking them, etc. Those dogs are selected for suitability in that environment, so I would think they would be equally good for yours. I'm not sure exactly what they call them - some sort of "pet therapy" thing. Might be worth seeking similar. Possibly even going to an OPH when they're doing this, your kids would then see the dogs interacting calmly with other humans? You could offer a small donation to the home in return for letting you in? (And your kid like Werthers, right? 
)
)Kitchski said:
They're quite anxious kids generally, and it's possible they're carrying a mild anxiety issue.
It would be an idea to address this first, then later deal with the dog issue with desensitisation therapy (ie gradually introduce them to dogs and doglike things. Start with toys/ videos and then very small dogs etc).Kitchski said:
I've got three kids, two of which are 7yr old twin boys. For reasons I'm not completely sure, they're developed a severe phobia of dogs. They're quite anxious kids generally, and it's possible they're carrying a mild anxiety issue.
Their phobia is genuine. Their reactions to any dog, whether it's on or off a lead and behaving well or not are extreme. You can feel their hearts pounding, their hands clamp your hands, they scream, shriek and try to run away. They'll run into the road if we don't grab them first.
Are they getting each other worked up into a frenzy? What are they like individually?Their phobia is genuine. Their reactions to any dog, whether it's on or off a lead and behaving well or not are extreme. You can feel their hearts pounding, their hands clamp your hands, they scream, shriek and try to run away. They'll run into the road if we don't grab them first.
I was a bit like this as a child and then at about 11 I got introduced to someone's big, soppy golden labrador in their back garden which was just a really silly, soppy soft dog. It simply overwhelmed me with silliness and wanting its tummy tickled and in the end I just wanted to play with it, which it was of course happy to oblige with. This seemed to sort the whole problem in an instant. Dogs, particularly labradors, are very clever creatures and to this day I believe that dog instantly recognised the problem and knew how to deal with it.
I'm still wary around dogs and wouldn't approach one where I didn't know the dog and/or its owner, but that labrador sorted it for me and I am generally fine with dogs now.
I'm still wary around dogs and wouldn't approach one where I didn't know the dog and/or its owner, but that labrador sorted it for me and I am generally fine with dogs now.
Probably a bit too far away but if you are ever near Bath you would be more than welcome to introduce them to Archie............the sweetest, kindest, most relaxed and chilled out dog your children could ever meet, in fact we are in the process of registering him as a Therapy Dog.
All the best.
All the best.
this may not be the proper way, but we have friends who's 2 girls would scream and cry if they even saw our dog, let alone one they didn't know.
we simply slowly introduced the dog for a few minutes more each time and after a few years the girls would ask to take the dog for a walk. which was amazing as our dog was truly mental and manic.
they were very upset when she was put down a couple of years back.
they even have their own dog now.
this was all at the request of their parents.
we simply slowly introduced the dog for a few minutes more each time and after a few years the girls would ask to take the dog for a walk. which was amazing as our dog was truly mental and manic.
they were very upset when she was put down a couple of years back.
they even have their own dog now.
this was all at the request of their parents.
I'm one of those friends who's offered the use of dogs, as we have 3. I appreciate they can be a bit yappy, but they are fine with kids. If you change your mind then bring them over one day, we can go out into the forest with Chewie who won't be that interested in the kids, plus they will be able to see Theo play with him. Alternatively we could take him for a walk down to the play park. He is in a harness and walks to heal. They won't even notice him when walking on the lead.
BoRED S2upid said:
Befriend a blind person their dogs are trained and are very placid. The only way is through contact with dogs I can't see the GP being much help. Your kids need to understand that not all dogs are going to jump up and bark you can help if they see you stroking the dog without getting bitten they might be encouraged to do the same but you need to find a dog that 100% won't get excited.
Appreciate the input, but it's not that easy to find a blind person and 'befriend' them! I know guide dogs are probably one of the best dogs for this issue though, but saying they need to understand dogs etc is missing the point a bit - rationality goes out of the window. They'll jump into the road, where they could easily be killed, to avoid a dog, which is unlikely to kill them. I've often bent down to stroke a dog in front of them, and we even got my 5yr old to try racing my brother's dog, but the 7yr old's weren't having it, and their fear is now rubbing off on the 5yr old as a learnt fear.CAPP0 said:
There are organisations which take (obviously well-behaved) dogs into places like old peoples' homes, because the olds get a lot of positive benefit from seeing them, stroking them, etc. Those dogs are selected for suitability in that environment, so I would think they would be equally good for yours. I'm not sure exactly what they call them - some sort of "pet therapy" thing. Might be worth seeking similar. Possibly even going to an OPH when they're doing this, your kids would then see the dogs interacting calmly with other humans? You could offer a small donation to the home in return for letting you in? (And your kid like Werthers, right? )
This is the sort of thing I'm trying to pursue at the moment. Have fired a couple of emails off. My wife works in a school and knows of therapy dogs that visit poorly kids to boast their morale, so that's a potentially ideal avenue. )popeyewhite said:
It would be an idea to address this first, then later deal with the dog issue with desensitisation therapy (ie gradually introduce them to dogs and doglike things. Start with toys/ videos and then very small dogs etc).
Quite possibly, as it's likely this is what's triggering the dog issue, but the dog issue is significantly more of a problem than any of their other anxieties. To be honest, other than fear of sudden unexpected noises (like car horns, or air-brakes on a passing bus) they're just generally anxious. I am to be fair, they probably get it from me (something else to feel st about with all this 
) But that's why the GP's being contacted.Sheepshanks said:
Are they getting each other worked up into a frenzy? What are they like individually?
Yes, to an extent. They'd both get worked up if out on their own, and one does get worse than the other at the moment, but together they feed off each other, and as I replied to a guy higher up, it's beginning to rub off on their 5yr old brother, who's not anxious at all, just really shy. He never used to care about dogs, but he's getting worse because he's paying more attention to them as he grows up.zarjaz1991 said:
I was a bit like this as a child and then at about 11 I got introduced to someone's big, soppy golden labrador in their back garden which was just a really silly, soppy soft dog. It simply overwhelmed me with silliness and wanting its tummy tickled and in the end I just wanted to play with it, which it was of course happy to oblige with. This seemed to sort the whole problem in an instant. Dogs, particularly labradors, are very clever creatures and to this day I believe that dog instantly recognised the problem and knew how to deal with it.
I'm still wary around dogs and wouldn't approach one where I didn't know the dog and/or its owner, but that labrador sorted it for me and I am generally fine with dogs now.
I'm not a massive dog person, but Labradors are probably my favourite dog. I know exactly where you're coming from. When I was a kid, I was awkward around dogs until I started hanging around them more by going around friends' houses etc. I believe familiarity with dogs would dramatically improve the situation, but there aren't any dogs I know of that are suitable for them, either in temperament, or the frequency in which they'd see them. It's one of the reasons I started to think we should get one, and put our personal feelings about it to one side in order to help them. My concern is that it wouldn't be fair on the dog.I'm still wary around dogs and wouldn't approach one where I didn't know the dog and/or its owner, but that labrador sorted it for me and I am generally fine with dogs now.
alfie2244 said:
Probably a bit too far away but if you are ever near Bath you would be more than welcome to introduce them to Archie............the sweetest, kindest, most relaxed and chilled out dog your children could ever meet, in fact we are in the process of registering him as a Therapy Dog.
All the best.
Appreciate the thought and offer. I've had offers already, the problem is that even if the dog's the right dog to help, they'd need to be seeing it often, like 2 or 3 times a week. There just aren't any round here that I know of.All the best.
jesta1865 said:
this may not be the proper way, but we have friends who's 2 girls would scream and cry if they even saw our dog, let alone one they didn't know.
we simply slowly introduced the dog for a few minutes more each time and after a few years the girls would ask to take the dog for a walk. which was amazing as our dog was truly mental and manic.
they were very upset when she was put down a couple of years back.
they even have their own dog now.
this was all at the request of their parents.
That sounds ideal, but my only worry would be that the two girls you speak of may of just had a general fear of dogs, whereas I think there's a possible chance mine are scared as a result of anxiety, and may not respond in the same way. we simply slowly introduced the dog for a few minutes more each time and after a few years the girls would ask to take the dog for a walk. which was amazing as our dog was truly mental and manic.
they were very upset when she was put down a couple of years back.
they even have their own dog now.
this was all at the request of their parents.
S10GTA said:
I'm one of those friends who's offered the use of dogs, as we have 3. I appreciate they can be a bit yappy, but they are fine with kids. If you change your mind then bring them over one day, we can go out into the forest with Chewie who won't be that interested in the kids, plus they will be able to see Theo play with him. Alternatively we could take him for a walk down to the play park. He is in a harness and walks to heal. They won't even notice him when walking on the lead.
I know mate, but even the yapping in the first 30secs would mean a game-over scenario. I've never met your new one, but he's the same breed as the one that jumped up at them a few years back, so that's probably not a good idea either. It's not as simple as just taking one for a walk, as we've tried that (although it was my brother's dog, which is way too hyper and yappy for me, let alone them!)S10GTA said:
and its actually a thing btw, its called cynophobia.
If it's dog-based, and not anxiety based, then yeah. Had some prick laugh at them yesterday at Highcliffe Castle, said more about him than them. Had a woman get funny once too, like it was an insult to her dog. Next time that happens, I'll tell her she has a spider on her coat and see her reaction, then point out a spider is much, much more harmless than her little rat-sized dog. bh.I appreciate the behaviour of your children may be 'extreme' in some circumstances, but not all dogs like kids so it's good to be wary.
My German Shepherd is not good with small children, we don't know the history as he was a rescue dog, but the number of kids that randomly wander up to him and start poking him on the nose or pulling his ears is worrying at times. The snarl and the growl normally gives away his feelings, but we are actively careful with kids around.
Personally, I would look not for a dog that likes to be cuddled etc., but get the kids used to being around a dog without the need to necessarily interact with it. If the dog wants attention, it will ask for it. This teaches them to be comfortable around dogs without getting the (wrong) impression) that every dog they see will be completely docile.
My German Shepherd is not good with small children, we don't know the history as he was a rescue dog, but the number of kids that randomly wander up to him and start poking him on the nose or pulling his ears is worrying at times. The snarl and the growl normally gives away his feelings, but we are actively careful with kids around.
Personally, I would look not for a dog that likes to be cuddled etc., but get the kids used to being around a dog without the need to necessarily interact with it. If the dog wants attention, it will ask for it. This teaches them to be comfortable around dogs without getting the (wrong) impression) that every dog they see will be completely docile.
BoRED S2upid said:
Befriend a blind person
PH advice at it's finest!!! 
On a serious note - some of the dog charities might be able to offer useful advice, looks like The Dogs Trust do workshops for example...
https://www.dogstrust.org.uk/news-events/news/is-y...
Jefferson Steelflex said:
I appreciate the behaviour of your children may be 'extreme' in some circumstances, but not all dogs like kids so it's good to be wary.
My German Shepherd is not good with small children, we don't know the history as he was a rescue dog, but the number of kids that randomly wander up to him and start poking him on the nose or pulling his ears is worrying at times. The snarl and the growl normally gives away his feelings, but we are actively careful with kids around.
Personally, I would look not for a dog that likes to be cuddled etc., but get the kids used to being around a dog without the need to necessarily interact with it. If the dog wants attention, it will ask for it. This teaches them to be comfortable around dogs without getting the (wrong) impression) that every dog they see will be completely docile.
Good shout. Dog that will totally ignore them probably a very good first step. Big, elderly, asleep and won't even look up when they come in would be a good starting point. Nothing that will try to greet them (even if it can be stopped by the owner) or bark. My German Shepherd is not good with small children, we don't know the history as he was a rescue dog, but the number of kids that randomly wander up to him and start poking him on the nose or pulling his ears is worrying at times. The snarl and the growl normally gives away his feelings, but we are actively careful with kids around.
Personally, I would look not for a dog that likes to be cuddled etc., but get the kids used to being around a dog without the need to necessarily interact with it. If the dog wants attention, it will ask for it. This teaches them to be comfortable around dogs without getting the (wrong) impression) that every dog they see will be completely docile.
What area are you in, I have a couple of mates with assistance dogs who may be able to help, or who might know someone that can.
An interesting topic.
We went camping with someone (an adult though) with a dog phobia last summer. We had no dog sitter sorted so ended up taking our Dalmation. Her daughter has also fed off her fear.
Our Dog is on the face of it a grumpy mardy growly stbag. In reality he just likes using his voice, and his talk is a little screwed up. He is not the ideal dog for someone scared of dogs.
She did however end up stroking him, and being relatively comfortable. Her daughter took awhile but at the end of the weekend joined the gang of kids all desperate to hold his lead....
Labrador/Retriever both seem like good breeds who are dopey enough to just roll on their backs for a cuddle, when the kids are ready to go that far.
We went camping with someone (an adult though) with a dog phobia last summer. We had no dog sitter sorted so ended up taking our Dalmation. Her daughter has also fed off her fear.
Our Dog is on the face of it a grumpy mardy growly s
tbag. In reality he just likes using his voice, and his talk is a little screwed up. He is not the ideal dog for someone scared of dogs.She did however end up stroking him, and being relatively comfortable. Her daughter took awhile but at the end of the weekend joined the gang of kids all desperate to hold his lead....
Labrador/Retriever both seem like good breeds who are dopey enough to just roll on their backs for a cuddle, when the kids are ready to go that far.
My two boys lose their st if a dog off the lead strays near them in the park. Jumping off their bikes, running always clinging to me, trying to climb me! They're getting better with dogs on leads. But cats also pose a problem when we're walking to school.
I'm not overly fussed, im sure they'll grow out of it in time and it stops me ever having to worry about being pestered for a pet dog.
It is funny how every dog owner seems to believe their dog will be the one to cure their fear.
t if a dog off the lead strays near them in the park. Jumping off their bikes, running always clinging to me, trying to climb me! They're getting better with dogs on leads. But cats also pose a problem when we're walking to school.I'm not overly fussed, im sure they'll grow out of it in time and it stops me ever having to worry about being pestered for a pet dog.
It is funny how every dog owner seems to believe their dog will be the one to cure their fear.
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