Smoking- can some people never be scared out of it?
Discussion
A lifetime of smoking has ruined my dad's lungs (he's 67), he suffers from COPD (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) and has had bad spells here and there due to being so susceptible to chest infections. He's seen this before, his mum had the same but was in her late seventies/early eighties before it was ever anything more than just being a bit breathless.
Last Sunday morning he was rushed to the hospital, me in the back of the ambulance with him, watching him gasp desperately for every breath he could, conscious but unresponsive, not knowing if he was going to make it. Talking to the doctor later revealed he was a gnat's whisker away from cardiac arrest in the ambulance, a 20 minute journey.
He got discharged today, I've just taken him home and on the way back as we're coming up to the local co-op, he asks me if we can stop in and get a 'last couple packs of fags'. I was almost about to until I actually registered what he said.
I feel helpless here, what on earth can I do if all that ends up in still wanting to smoke? Seeing a parent in the back of an ambulance like that is horrific and all I can think about is preparing for it happening again at some point in the near-ish future.
Last Sunday morning he was rushed to the hospital, me in the back of the ambulance with him, watching him gasp desperately for every breath he could, conscious but unresponsive, not knowing if he was going to make it. Talking to the doctor later revealed he was a gnat's whisker away from cardiac arrest in the ambulance, a 20 minute journey.
He got discharged today, I've just taken him home and on the way back as we're coming up to the local co-op, he asks me if we can stop in and get a 'last couple packs of fags'. I was almost about to until I actually registered what he said.
I feel helpless here, what on earth can I do if all that ends up in still wanting to smoke? Seeing a parent in the back of an ambulance like that is horrific and all I can think about is preparing for it happening again at some point in the near-ish future.
I'm in a similar situation with my Dad op. It's extremely irritating/distressing/exasperating!
I suggest offering him a decent e cig and a selection of liquids, If he will use that then that's an improvement. Mine does but then something happens and he find an excuse to start smoking again.
If your Dad can't drive then you have control of what he can buy, this is a big bonus in the battle to get him to stop.
Mine is prone to finding any excuse, however ridiculous, to smoke. On one occasion he was taken to hospital and I had a Dr tell me he probably wouldn't make the night, but fortunately he did. If I thought it would work I would punch him on the nose to make him stop!
If you can get your Dad to see his Dr about quitting.
I suggest offering him a decent e cig and a selection of liquids, If he will use that then that's an improvement. Mine does but then something happens and he find an excuse to start smoking again.
If your Dad can't drive then you have control of what he can buy, this is a big bonus in the battle to get him to stop.
Mine is prone to finding any excuse, however ridiculous, to smoke. On one occasion he was taken to hospital and I had a Dr tell me he probably wouldn't make the night, but fortunately he did. If I thought it would work I would punch him on the nose to make him stop!
If you can get your Dad to see his Dr about quitting.
Can't offer any advice but can only sympathise with you - it must be awful to watch.
My parents, now in their 80s, quit smoking when they were in their 40s as they realised it was not a good thing to keep doing.
Unfortunately they are adults and the smoking addiction is one that many cannot break.
All the best!
My parents, now in their 80s, quit smoking when they were in their 40s as they realised it was not a good thing to keep doing.
Unfortunately they are adults and the smoking addiction is one that many cannot break.
All the best!
Sadly, for some, they just don't make the connection with their early death or are too stubborn to change.
When I worked in a care home, a lady there was on her last couple of weeks with lung cancer. She still smoked (had to sit in the garden to smoke) and told me that they said her cancer was due to her smoking but she was having none of it.
Then about a week before she died, she had a stroke and was bed bound. The day after her stroke, she told me that she had decided to quit. Bit late, I thought.
When I worked in a care home, a lady there was on her last couple of weeks with lung cancer. She still smoked (had to sit in the garden to smoke) and told me that they said her cancer was due to her smoking but she was having none of it.
Then about a week before she died, she had a stroke and was bed bound. The day after her stroke, she told me that she had decided to quit. Bit late, I thought.
Sit outside the front entrance of any hospital in the land for an hour and you will see an oxygen dependant patient out there puffing away on their cigs.
For many, once they get to a point where their lungs are completely ruined, they don't see the point in trying to do anything about it. COPD never gets better - the damage is done - so might as well enjoy themselves as much as possible.
For many, once they get to a point where their lungs are completely ruined, they don't see the point in trying to do anything about it. COPD never gets better - the damage is done - so might as well enjoy themselves as much as possible.
Think they should make all young smokers spend a day on a heart and lung ward. I had the misfortune to visit one a couple of years back for biopsy, several on that ward who had essentially destroyed their lungs through smoking and were in right states. Problem is that I'd happily bet that most of them will be back on the fags as soon as they've been patched up and allowed out again.
I appreciate that it is hard to break the habit, I used to smoke myself probably classing myself as a "social" smoker as it was probably no more than 50 a week at the worst. Usually any efforts to quit were hampered by going to the pub with mates who all smoked back in the days when you could smoke inside. I suspect the ban had made quite a difference in that respect. I quit when I met my partner as she didn't smoke, didn't want to date someone who did and I was ready to. Not sure I would have though were it not for her.
Positively shat myself in the health scare leading up to the biopsy I had, persistent cough I couldn't shift followed by a dodgy chest X-Ray and I convinced myself I had cancer. Massive regret about ever smoking. Luckily for me it was something else.
I appreciate that it is hard to break the habit, I used to smoke myself probably classing myself as a "social" smoker as it was probably no more than 50 a week at the worst. Usually any efforts to quit were hampered by going to the pub with mates who all smoked back in the days when you could smoke inside. I suspect the ban had made quite a difference in that respect. I quit when I met my partner as she didn't smoke, didn't want to date someone who did and I was ready to. Not sure I would have though were it not for her.
Positively shat myself in the health scare leading up to the biopsy I had, persistent cough I couldn't shift followed by a dodgy chest X-Ray and I convinced myself I had cancer. Massive regret about ever smoking. Luckily for me it was something else.
It's a terrible addiction to have. My mum was a smoker for 40 years and although she tried many times to quit it was only watching a close friend (and smoking buddy) die very slowly from lung cancer that scared her into stopping.
Maybe your dad needs to be reminded that he wouldn't just be stopping for himself but for the people around him? The main reason why my mum stopped was because she didn't want the rest of her family to deal with a devastating disease like lung cancer because she fancied a fag.
Maybe your dad needs to be reminded that he wouldn't just be stopping for himself but for the people around him? The main reason why my mum stopped was because she didn't want the rest of her family to deal with a devastating disease like lung cancer because she fancied a fag.
My mother in law is the same, late fifties, has smoked since her teens and suffers from COPD. She has an inhaler etc, but still smokes. I keep asking her to stop as I know how devastated my wife would be if anything happened to her, but she's having none of it, I may as well tell my cat to stop shedding fur for all the good it does.
My in laws live next door, and whenever I'm in the garden I can hear her constantly coughing away. Unbelievable really, but there's no helping some people. My father in law has never smoked, but I guess he must smoke ten a day passively!
My in laws live next door, and whenever I'm in the garden I can hear her constantly coughing away. Unbelievable really, but there's no helping some people. My father in law has never smoked, but I guess he must smoke ten a day passively!
Patrick Bateman said:
A lifetime of smoking has ruined my dad's lungs (he's 67), he suffers from COPD (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) and has had bad spells here and there due to being so susceptible to chest infections. He's seen this before, his mum had the same but was in her late seventies/early eighties before it was ever anything more than just being a bit breathless.
Last Sunday morning he was rushed to the hospital, me in the back of the ambulance with him, watching him gasp desperately for every breath he could, conscious but unresponsive, not knowing if he was going to make it. Talking to the doctor later revealed he was a gnat's whisker away from cardiac arrest in the ambulance, a 20 minute journey.
He got discharged today, I've just taken him home and on the way back as we're coming up to the local co-op, he asks me if we can stop in and get a 'last couple packs of fags'. I was almost about to until I actually registered what he said.
I feel helpless here, what on earth can I do if all that ends up in still wanting to smoke? Seeing a parent in the back of an ambulance like that is horrific and all I can think about is preparing for it happening again at some point in the near-ish future.
He's an adult and fully aware of the consequences, the only thing that might help is getting him on an e-cig. They're not perfect but they're loads better than the fags...Last Sunday morning he was rushed to the hospital, me in the back of the ambulance with him, watching him gasp desperately for every breath he could, conscious but unresponsive, not knowing if he was going to make it. Talking to the doctor later revealed he was a gnat's whisker away from cardiac arrest in the ambulance, a 20 minute journey.
He got discharged today, I've just taken him home and on the way back as we're coming up to the local co-op, he asks me if we can stop in and get a 'last couple packs of fags'. I was almost about to until I actually registered what he said.
I feel helpless here, what on earth can I do if all that ends up in still wanting to smoke? Seeing a parent in the back of an ambulance like that is horrific and all I can think about is preparing for it happening again at some point in the near-ish future.
If he doesn't want to stop himself, I don't see how you've got any chance of making him short of locking him up somewhere to make him.
If you can at least get him to the point where he's willing to give it a try, you'll need to keep him away from his habitual smoking triggers. The first few times I tried to give up, it was leaving uni lectures or work with other smokers that did it, so I ended up consciously avoiding doing that so that I wouldn't subconsciously take a cigarette off someone else and get started again.
Some people, though, just seem destined to fail.
When my wife was in hospital about to have our eldest, the woman in the next cubicle was being induced because her baby was almost three weeks overdue (but still only under 6lbs, iirc) and starting to show signs of distress. After the midwife had done whatever icky thing it is they do to start the process, she asked the woman if she had any questions. Her response was "have I got time to pop out for a fag before anything happens!"
A colleague of mine, on the other hand, did the right thing and gave up smoking when she found out she was pregnant... On three separate occasions! She started smoking again on the day that each one was born, and as far as I know still smokes now.
If you can at least get him to the point where he's willing to give it a try, you'll need to keep him away from his habitual smoking triggers. The first few times I tried to give up, it was leaving uni lectures or work with other smokers that did it, so I ended up consciously avoiding doing that so that I wouldn't subconsciously take a cigarette off someone else and get started again.
Some people, though, just seem destined to fail.
When my wife was in hospital about to have our eldest, the woman in the next cubicle was being induced because her baby was almost three weeks overdue (but still only under 6lbs, iirc) and starting to show signs of distress. After the midwife had done whatever icky thing it is they do to start the process, she asked the woman if she had any questions. Her response was "have I got time to pop out for a fag before anything happens!"
A colleague of mine, on the other hand, did the right thing and gave up smoking when she found out she was pregnant... On three separate occasions! She started smoking again on the day that each one was born, and as far as I know still smokes now.
My mum, a lifelong smoker died seven years ago from lung cancer. It was painful to watch. My dad, a lifelong pipe smoker still to this day blames her working one morning a week in the 70's at a school which during recent conversion to apartments, they discovered asbestos in the roof. He still smokes his pipe.
Sometimes, OP, there is literally nothing that you can do. If your dad has been smoking all his life, and he is still giving into the incredibly strong craving for nicotine after the weekend's events then he is going to kill himself with cigarettes.
Unfortunately you are going to have to witness this, and help in to deal with the slow and inevitable conclusion. You have my utmost sympathy, you really do.
My son, who was six when his granny died will never go near any smoking materials, ever. He doesn't need convincing, he saw his granny deteriorate over nine months. He won't even tolerate vaping.
Sometimes, OP, there is literally nothing that you can do. If your dad has been smoking all his life, and he is still giving into the incredibly strong craving for nicotine after the weekend's events then he is going to kill himself with cigarettes.
Unfortunately you are going to have to witness this, and help in to deal with the slow and inevitable conclusion. You have my utmost sympathy, you really do.
My son, who was six when his granny died will never go near any smoking materials, ever. He doesn't need convincing, he saw his granny deteriorate over nine months. He won't even tolerate vaping.
Tyre Smoke said:
My mum, a lifelong smoker died seven years ago from lung cancer. It was painful to watch. My dad, a lifelong pipe smoker still to this day blames her working one morning a week in the 70's at a school which during recent conversion to apartments, they discovered asbestos in the roof. He still smokes his pipe.
Sometimes, OP, there is literally nothing that you can do. If your dad has been smoking all his life, and he is still giving into the incredibly strong craving for nicotine after the weekend's events then he is going to kill himself with cigarettes.
Unfortunately you are going to have to witness this, and help in to deal with the slow and inevitable conclusion. You have my utmost sympathy, you really do.
My son, who was six when his granny died will never go near any smoking materials, ever. He doesn't need convincing, he saw his granny deteriorate over nine months. He won't even tolerate vaping.
I don't suppose saying, "I love you, dad, but I can't believe how incredibly weak-minded you are to not be able to quit!" would help? What about, "My son feels a bit sad that you will probably be dead before he grows up."? #passiveaggressive Sometimes, OP, there is literally nothing that you can do. If your dad has been smoking all his life, and he is still giving into the incredibly strong craving for nicotine after the weekend's events then he is going to kill himself with cigarettes.
Unfortunately you are going to have to witness this, and help in to deal with the slow and inevitable conclusion. You have my utmost sympathy, you really do.
My son, who was six when his granny died will never go near any smoking materials, ever. He doesn't need convincing, he saw his granny deteriorate over nine months. He won't even tolerate vaping.
I think for some people it is too difficult to quit. My mum thought she had COPD for 5 years, still smoked 20 a day the whole time. We found out over christmas that the COPD had been mis-diagnosed, she actually has a slow moving form of lung cancer. Still smoking, albeit less. She wont stop.
A close friend of mine is mid-30s, has smoked for over a decade, drinks 'socially' (way too much) and is slightly overweight, not active at all.
She's pretty well educated and is convinced that it's all about genetic susceptibility and she will be fine.
Her mother died of a huuuuge heart attack at 51, 2 of her grandparents dies of lung cancer.
Educated but blind I think, a ticking cancer / cardiac timebomb.
She's pretty well educated and is convinced that it's all about genetic susceptibility and she will be fine.
Her mother died of a huuuuge heart attack at 51, 2 of her grandparents dies of lung cancer.
Educated but blind I think, a ticking cancer / cardiac timebomb.
Having that first cigarette at age 11 and smoking daily from mid teens, not a once has the possible health issues played on my mind. Even an aunt's death by emphysema give no concerns. I totally accept the consequences of my actions. I have reduced over time from 40 a day to 10 or so a day as copd and something called raynaud's disease (swollen fingers shooting pains) symptoms are quite noticeable by others, although not worrying enough to quit.
The recent changes to tobacco sales, namely banning anything less than 20 cigarettes in a pack and removing all small sized rolling tobacco pouches with a 30g minimum infuriated me at first, but the positive effects of the changes are welcomed!
(I'd love to see the figures regarding food addiction vs tobacco addiction)
:-)
The recent changes to tobacco sales, namely banning anything less than 20 cigarettes in a pack and removing all small sized rolling tobacco pouches with a 30g minimum infuriated me at first, but the positive effects of the changes are welcomed!
(I'd love to see the figures regarding food addiction vs tobacco addiction)
:-)
Didn't realise I hadn't replied to this at the time, I had read everyone's messages though, thank you.
Fast forward to now and he's in the hospital again. Phoned an ambulance for himself last Saturday while I was in Aviemore. Long story short, the doctors more or less said they expected him to deteriorate and die but he's actually managed to improve a lot although it's taken longer this time round. Not sure exactly how he's going to be though and what this will have ultimately taken out of him.
Since my original post I've never known for sure if he still smokes, had never seen any packets or smelt smoke in the house. When I first went to the house while he was in hospital though I found two open packets on the kitchen work top and one butt at the sink. He's obviously tried to keep this from me so I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he'd gone and had one last fag before calling the ambulance knowing he'd not get one again for a while.
What should I do with these packets? I've pretty much accepted that this is how he's going to die and I'm going to have to witness it. I want to bin them but it's not going to change anything and it's his decision at the end of the day.
Then again, he had the brass neck to try and get me to stop for fags the last time on the way back from hospital, knowing exactly what I'd had to witness.
Any thoughts?
Fast forward to now and he's in the hospital again. Phoned an ambulance for himself last Saturday while I was in Aviemore. Long story short, the doctors more or less said they expected him to deteriorate and die but he's actually managed to improve a lot although it's taken longer this time round. Not sure exactly how he's going to be though and what this will have ultimately taken out of him.
Since my original post I've never known for sure if he still smokes, had never seen any packets or smelt smoke in the house. When I first went to the house while he was in hospital though I found two open packets on the kitchen work top and one butt at the sink. He's obviously tried to keep this from me so I honestly wouldn't be surprised if he'd gone and had one last fag before calling the ambulance knowing he'd not get one again for a while.
What should I do with these packets? I've pretty much accepted that this is how he's going to die and I'm going to have to witness it. I want to bin them but it's not going to change anything and it's his decision at the end of the day.
Then again, he had the brass neck to try and get me to stop for fags the last time on the way back from hospital, knowing exactly what I'd had to witness.
Any thoughts?
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