Life & the rise of mental health issues
Discussion
I suffer from anxiety and have done for many years even though I've not been aware of it. Luckily I've been able to talk with the GP, friends, councillors and it's really helped me understand myself. It took me to breaking point to actually face my fears.
Having the courage to talk about my feelings has enabled me to unpick my life and understand the root causes of my illness which I feel stems from childhood, a parental marriage breakdown, and an inability to trust which has prevented me from opening up. Both my parents worked extremely hard in order to provide a decent standard of living which eventually was the our family downfall and eventual breakup amongst other things.
Dragged through the courts, fought over like a piece of meat and unconsciously held up by the victor wasn't my view as a child, but that's how I feel now. At the time the only people I could trust were my childhood friends, so inevitably I chose the parent who live closest to them. They didn't know that at the time, but they do now and neither like it obviously. Each time I see these people they view my life and opinions as expressions of the other parent and they can't hide their anger. It's meant that I can no longer have a relationship with either and brotherly relationship is strained as the choices become more apparent.
The pressures that my parents felt are no different than the pressure of today's parents. Capitalism is in each end every one of us whether we know it or not and we want to provide the best opportunity for the ones we love and care about as well as having a sense of self worth through work. However the constant pressure to strive to earn now means both parents have to work. Sure it's still a decision that we can make, but even the Gov point us in the direction of both parents working.
Levels of mental stress are different for everyone, but family units have less flex in today's society then previous generations due to both wanting to work in order to buy a family house. Could this be the reason why mental heath issues are increasing? Or is it that humans are driven to accumulate more and more at the expense of our health? Perhaps it really is nature over nurture and some people are more prone to suffer, either way it's too late for me to know now, although I'd like to help prevent it passing down to my children.
It's not really a bloke thing to do but I've started to write in a diary now. Just thoughts, a journey through my life and found it really helps. The app Headspace is fantastic and allows me to mentally take a break.(shame it's not free after the intro sessions) Finally the website Moodjuice helped me understand a bit more about my condition.
Back to work next week....bricking it, although I do feel able to talk about it with colleagues. I'll probably f
king bore them with it now, ha!
Hope this helps others with the similar issues - as it's helping me talk about it.
Having the courage to talk about my feelings has enabled me to unpick my life and understand the root causes of my illness which I feel stems from childhood, a parental marriage breakdown, and an inability to trust which has prevented me from opening up. Both my parents worked extremely hard in order to provide a decent standard of living which eventually was the our family downfall and eventual breakup amongst other things.
Dragged through the courts, fought over like a piece of meat and unconsciously held up by the victor wasn't my view as a child, but that's how I feel now. At the time the only people I could trust were my childhood friends, so inevitably I chose the parent who live closest to them. They didn't know that at the time, but they do now and neither like it obviously. Each time I see these people they view my life and opinions as expressions of the other parent and they can't hide their anger. It's meant that I can no longer have a relationship with either and brotherly relationship is strained as the choices become more apparent.
The pressures that my parents felt are no different than the pressure of today's parents. Capitalism is in each end every one of us whether we know it or not and we want to provide the best opportunity for the ones we love and care about as well as having a sense of self worth through work. However the constant pressure to strive to earn now means both parents have to work. Sure it's still a decision that we can make, but even the Gov point us in the direction of both parents working.
Levels of mental stress are different for everyone, but family units have less flex in today's society then previous generations due to both wanting to work in order to buy a family house. Could this be the reason why mental heath issues are increasing? Or is it that humans are driven to accumulate more and more at the expense of our health? Perhaps it really is nature over nurture and some people are more prone to suffer, either way it's too late for me to know now, although I'd like to help prevent it passing down to my children.
It's not really a bloke thing to do but I've started to write in a diary now. Just thoughts, a journey through my life and found it really helps. The app Headspace is fantastic and allows me to mentally take a break.(shame it's not free after the intro sessions) Finally the website Moodjuice helped me understand a bit more about my condition.
Back to work next week....bricking it, although I do feel able to talk about it with colleagues. I'll probably f
king bore them with it now, ha!Hope this helps others with the similar issues - as it's helping me talk about it.
There is a thread here you might be interested in: https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Someone else on there does a blog too.
Good luck
Someone else on there does a blog too.
Good luck
Thanks for the link, I'll have a look although I'm not sure it's depression. I have good days and bad days depending on the people I'm with and my mood can change within greatly within the day. People are my trigger! I have a suspicion it's Borderline Personality Disorder but won't know for sure until I see the GP again.
from your description it won't be borderline. the "borderline" bit refers to the individual's inability, at times of emotional arousal, to distinguish reality from illusion (for want of a better word), the best example of a "borderline" symptom is the pseudo hallucinations experienced by sufferers; known to be a misinterpretation of their own thoughts but, for them, experienced as perceptual abnormality - usually auditory hallucinations
you do relate some of what may be the essential features of (all) the personality disorders but the presence or absence of an alternative disorder to which your symptoms could be better attributed has not been established.
most, if not all, of us have some personality traits which would satisfy the criteria. see what the GP says but i suspect you'll be moving out of his/her comfort zone and a specialist referral may ensue.
paul
you do relate some of what may be the essential features of (all) the personality disorders but the presence or absence of an alternative disorder to which your symptoms could be better attributed has not been established.
most, if not all, of us have some personality traits which would satisfy the criteria. see what the GP says but i suspect you'll be moving out of his/her comfort zone and a specialist referral may ensue.
paul
It's not just you pal you'd be amazed at the amount of men who struggle.
I think this is a good thing to know as you see other blokes and think it's just me.
I know of a plasterer a bricky and an electrian all who do bloke on building site mans man if you will type stuff.
But get them on own and if your the sort of person who can listen without being a knob ( I fall into that category). They are willing to open up and tell you so not only is it interesting that these bloke have it but also they are not assahmed to talk about it.
I think this is a good thing to know as you see other blokes and think it's just me.
I know of a plasterer a bricky and an electrian all who do bloke on building site mans man if you will type stuff.
But get them on own and if your the sort of person who can listen without being a knob ( I fall into that category). They are willing to open up and tell you so not only is it interesting that these bloke have it but also they are not assahmed to talk about it.
AuBull said:
I suffer from anxiety and have done for many years even though I've not been aware of it. Luckily I've been able to talk with the GP, friends, councillors and it's really helped me understand myself. It took me to breaking point to actually face my fears.
Having the courage to talk about my feelings has enabled me to unpick my life and understand the root causes of my illness which I feel stems from childhood, a parental marriage breakdown, and an inability to trust which has prevented me from opening up. Both my parents worked extremely hard in order to provide a decent standard of living which eventually was the our family downfall and eventual breakup amongst other things.
Dragged through the courts, fought over like a piece of meat and unconsciously held up by the victor wasn't my view as a child, but that's how I feel now. At the time the only people I could trust were my childhood friends, so inevitably I chose the parent who live closest to them. They didn't know that at the time, but they do now and neither like it obviously. Each time I see these people they view my life and opinions as expressions of the other parent and they can't hide their anger. It's meant that I can no longer have a relationship with either and brotherly relationship is strained as the choices become more apparent.
The pressures that my parents felt are no different than the pressure of today's parents. Capitalism is in each end every one of us whether we know it or not and we want to provide the best opportunity for the ones we love and care about as well as having a sense of self worth through work. However the constant pressure to strive to earn now means both parents have to work. Sure it's still a decision that we can make, but even the Gov point us in the direction of both parents working.
Levels of mental stress are different for everyone, but family units have less flex in today's society then previous generations due to both wanting to work in order to buy a family house. Could this be the reason why mental heath issues are increasing? Or is it that humans are driven to accumulate more and more at the expense of our health? Perhaps it really is nature over nurture and some people are more prone to suffer, either way it's too late for me to know now, although I'd like to help prevent it passing down to my children.
It's not really a bloke thing to do but I've started to write in a diary now. Just thoughts, a journey through my life and found it really helps. The app Headspace is fantastic and allows me to mentally take a break.(shame it's not free after the intro sessions) Finally the website Moodjuice helped me understand a bit more about my condition.
Back to work next week....bricking it, although I do feel able to talk about it with colleagues. I'll probably fking bore them with it now, ha!
Hope this helps others with the similar issues - as it's helping me talk about it.
As I'm getting older I think I can relate to this ,Having the courage to talk about my feelings has enabled me to unpick my life and understand the root causes of my illness which I feel stems from childhood, a parental marriage breakdown, and an inability to trust which has prevented me from opening up. Both my parents worked extremely hard in order to provide a decent standard of living which eventually was the our family downfall and eventual breakup amongst other things.
Dragged through the courts, fought over like a piece of meat and unconsciously held up by the victor wasn't my view as a child, but that's how I feel now. At the time the only people I could trust were my childhood friends, so inevitably I chose the parent who live closest to them. They didn't know that at the time, but they do now and neither like it obviously. Each time I see these people they view my life and opinions as expressions of the other parent and they can't hide their anger. It's meant that I can no longer have a relationship with either and brotherly relationship is strained as the choices become more apparent.
The pressures that my parents felt are no different than the pressure of today's parents. Capitalism is in each end every one of us whether we know it or not and we want to provide the best opportunity for the ones we love and care about as well as having a sense of self worth through work. However the constant pressure to strive to earn now means both parents have to work. Sure it's still a decision that we can make, but even the Gov point us in the direction of both parents working.
Levels of mental stress are different for everyone, but family units have less flex in today's society then previous generations due to both wanting to work in order to buy a family house. Could this be the reason why mental heath issues are increasing? Or is it that humans are driven to accumulate more and more at the expense of our health? Perhaps it really is nature over nurture and some people are more prone to suffer, either way it's too late for me to know now, although I'd like to help prevent it passing down to my children.
It's not really a bloke thing to do but I've started to write in a diary now. Just thoughts, a journey through my life and found it really helps. The app Headspace is fantastic and allows me to mentally take a break.(shame it's not free after the intro sessions) Finally the website Moodjuice helped me understand a bit more about my condition.
Back to work next week....bricking it, although I do feel able to talk about it with colleagues. I'll probably f
king bore them with it now, ha!Hope this helps others with the similar issues - as it's helping me talk about it.
My confidence has taken a real kicking in recent times and I have no faith in myself at work .
My family life couldn't be better so it's no like it's awful everywhere I turn although I'm starting to want to walk away from issues with friends that are awkward and feel I just want to be left alone.
Problem is if I sat down to chat with someone I'm not sure I know of the root cause but I do know I'm not the Person I used to be .
Can I ask what happens when you feel anxious in terms of your confidence etc ? Tks
AuBull said:
Thanks for the link, I'll have a look although I'm not sure it's depression. I have good days and bad days depending on the people I'm with and my mood can change within greatly within the day. People are my trigger! I have a suspicion it's Borderline Personality Disorder but won't know for sure until I see the GP again.
Yes sorry if I was wrong, in my head the two are closely linked and often require the same treatment, but if you identify with one and not the other that's fine. At least my post has bumped your thread up and got some replies!paulmakin said:
from your description it won't be borderline. the "borderline" bit refers to the individual's inability, at times of emotional arousal, to distinguish reality from illusion (for want of a better word), the best example of a "borderline" symptom is the pseudo hallucinations experienced by sufferers; known to be a misinterpretation of their own thoughts but, for them, experienced as perceptual abnormality - usually auditory hallucinations
you do relate some of what may be the essential features of (all) the personality disorders but the presence or absence of an alternative disorder to which your symptoms could be better attributed has not been established.
most, if not all, of us have some personality traits which would satisfy the criteria. see what the GP says but i suspect you'll be moving out of his/her comfort zone and a specialist referral may ensue.
paul
Thanks Paul,I'll push for a referral.you do relate some of what may be the essential features of (all) the personality disorders but the presence or absence of an alternative disorder to which your symptoms could be better attributed has not been established.
most, if not all, of us have some personality traits which would satisfy the criteria. see what the GP says but i suspect you'll be moving out of his/her comfort zone and a specialist referral may ensue.
paul
I found this on the Mind website:
You might be given a diagnosis of BPD if you experience at least five of the following things, and they've lasted for a long time or have a big impact on your daily life:
You feel very worried about people abandoning you, and would do anything to stop that happening. Check
You have very intense emotions that last from a few hours to a few days and can change quickly (for example, from feeling very happy and confident in the morning to feeling low and sad in the afternoon). Check
You don't have a strong sense of who you are, and it can change depending on who you're with. I might change my point of view depending on who I'm with - stems from childhood unfortunately. I've tended just to not express any view at work and maintain a professional outlook. Only when provoked, friends may someone get an emotional bite. Usually if it's control related! - Stems from parents
You find it very hard to make and keep stable relationships. Long suffering wife of 20 year plus - completely happy and the one person in my life I can completely rely on. Friends or colleagues, very difficult to maintain for the reason above - which also stems from lack of trust.
You act impulsively and do things that could harm you (such as binge eating, using drugs or driving dangerously). yep, motorcycles, driving, racing bikes completely on a path to self destruction and an unconscious form of self harm. It was a release for the anger I suppose. I'd push as hard as I dare and even enjoyed punishing myself on the bicycle. It's been explained that this was my outlet and I had stopped cycling prior to the meltdown.
You have suicidal thoughts or self-harming behaviour. Once at 15, an argument with friends who were the only people I could trust. Glad it didn't turn out for the worse. Never again even thought about it. Self harming behaviour, see above.
You feel empty and lonely a lot of the time. Check
You get very angry, and struggle to control your anger. Check
When very stressed, sometimes you might :
feel paranoid. Check
have psychotic experiences, such as seeing or hearing things other people don't. No, don't think so.
feel numb or 'checked out' and not remember things properly after they've happened. Yep
FocusRS3 said:
As I'm getting older I think I can relate to this ,
My confidence has taken a real kicking in recent times and I have no faith in myself at work .
My family life couldn't be better so it's no like it's awful everywhere I turn although I'm starting to want to walk away from issues with friends that are awkward and feel I just want to be left alone.
Problem is if I sat down to chat with someone I'm not sure I know of the root cause but I do know I'm not the Person I used to be .
Can I ask what happens when you feel anxious in terms of your confidence etc ? Tks
Yeah confidence tanks when anxiety strikes.My confidence has taken a real kicking in recent times and I have no faith in myself at work .
My family life couldn't be better so it's no like it's awful everywhere I turn although I'm starting to want to walk away from issues with friends that are awkward and feel I just want to be left alone.
Problem is if I sat down to chat with someone I'm not sure I know of the root cause but I do know I'm not the Person I used to be .
Can I ask what happens when you feel anxious in terms of your confidence etc ? Tks
Low level anxiety might be feeling tight/tense and clenched on waking in the morning or a sense of dread, which depending on what's planned for the day might subside or get worse. Job role plays a big part on how I've felt over the years and as I've steadily move into positions of responsibility, when you feel the eyes on you it can be incredibly overwhelming. It's now inhibiting me from fulfilling my ambition which is frustrating.
High level anxiety has in the past resulted in tightness of chest a feeling that the heart is about to leap out. Inability to concentrate, muddled thoughts. crushing headache with a high level of fear. The day of the meltdown I almost called an ambulance, I believe this was a panic attack and the first I've ever had. Previous to this event I had everything listed, bar the headache and fear.
My average state of flux is somewhere between these two extremes. The only time I get any respite is on holiday with my immediate family.
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