Struggling To Settle Back in The UK
Discussion
Wasn't really sure where to put this, so mods please feel free to move it if it better suited elsewhere.
So in 2013 I moved to and lived in Norway, absolutely loved it there and everything about it. One of the main things it changed was my life style, I drunk less booze (because it was so expensive and ate less crap also because it was so expensive) I've always been an outdoors kind of person but this exploded when I moved there. Hiking, boating, camping, mountain biking, kayaking, climbing, fishing, star gazing during the summer and skiing every weekend,northern lights, snow, sub zero temperatures and cabin weekends away during the winter. Following the breakdown of a relationship out there I kind of lost everything, panicked and moved back to the UK quite hastily.
I'm now in a new relationship with a fantastic person, I love her and do see it going somewhere and she feels the same. I just feel that I'm really struggling the re-settle back in the UK and with the impending Brexit debacle it adds to my unsettledness. I constantly find reasons to complain and compare it to former places I've lived and I know I must sound like a right miserable sod but I genuinely feel aside from my family I have no connection with this country anymore, my nationality means nothing to me. I work in an industry where it's very easy to find work and it's unlikely that getting work will ever be an issue as I also have huge amounts of experience within it.
The worst thing that is getting me down is the attitude of people in the UK. Almost everyone is so negative and gloomy and can only see the bad side of pretty much everything. I have literally fallen out with long term friends over this as they were so negative I didn't want to be around them. I see the free healthcare, the opportunity for every child to have a free education, the personal freedoms enjoyed by everyone here and the relatively easy to live with climate.
I've always fancied Canada as it seems to fit in with everything I want in terms of lifestyle and having visited a few times it would be a dream move. My only major concern is that I'm not really that sure how open to something like this the misses would be and she's also in the midst of her career as a csi forensic investigator for the police in this country, so not even sure how she'd go about a job or if she'd even be able to be a part of the police in Canada (even though she's hugely qualified in her job).
The thought of living here long term just fills me with dread and I currently feel like I'm waiting around for something to happen because I just can't settle.
So in 2013 I moved to and lived in Norway, absolutely loved it there and everything about it. One of the main things it changed was my life style, I drunk less booze (because it was so expensive and ate less crap also because it was so expensive) I've always been an outdoors kind of person but this exploded when I moved there. Hiking, boating, camping, mountain biking, kayaking, climbing, fishing, star gazing during the summer and skiing every weekend,northern lights, snow, sub zero temperatures and cabin weekends away during the winter. Following the breakdown of a relationship out there I kind of lost everything, panicked and moved back to the UK quite hastily.
I'm now in a new relationship with a fantastic person, I love her and do see it going somewhere and she feels the same. I just feel that I'm really struggling the re-settle back in the UK and with the impending Brexit debacle it adds to my unsettledness. I constantly find reasons to complain and compare it to former places I've lived and I know I must sound like a right miserable sod but I genuinely feel aside from my family I have no connection with this country anymore, my nationality means nothing to me. I work in an industry where it's very easy to find work and it's unlikely that getting work will ever be an issue as I also have huge amounts of experience within it.
The worst thing that is getting me down is the attitude of people in the UK. Almost everyone is so negative and gloomy and can only see the bad side of pretty much everything. I have literally fallen out with long term friends over this as they were so negative I didn't want to be around them. I see the free healthcare, the opportunity for every child to have a free education, the personal freedoms enjoyed by everyone here and the relatively easy to live with climate.
I've always fancied Canada as it seems to fit in with everything I want in terms of lifestyle and having visited a few times it would be a dream move. My only major concern is that I'm not really that sure how open to something like this the misses would be and she's also in the midst of her career as a csi forensic investigator for the police in this country, so not even sure how she'd go about a job or if she'd even be able to be a part of the police in Canada (even though she's hugely qualified in her job).
The thought of living here long term just fills me with dread and I currently feel like I'm waiting around for something to happen because I just can't settle.
Edited by NordicCrankShaft on Friday 14th September 10:49
Edited by NordicCrankShaft on Friday 14th September 11:37
NordicCrankShaft said:
I constantly find reasons to complain and compare it to former places I've lived and I know I must sound like a right miserable sod but I genuinely feel aside from my family I have no connection with this country anymore
<snip>NordicCrankShaft said:
The worst thing that is getting me down is the attitude of people in the UK. Almost everyone is so negative and gloomy and can only see the bad side of pretty much everything.
Err... they are moaning AND you are moaning? You have me confused. They hate it and are negative and in your own words... so do you? Not an attack but maybe something to think about ?These things are not free. "I see the free healthcare, the opportunity for every child to have a free education"
We pay for them. Then we don't get as good versions as them as we could for the same money in a different system. Yay. We should not point out the issues here. We should be happy about it without question.
We pay for them. Then we don't get as good versions as them as we could for the same money in a different system. Yay. We should not point out the issues here. We should be happy about it without question.
Taaaaang said:
The obvious answer is to just leave then, if you dislike the place too much.
Life's too short to be miserable?
This.Life's too short to be miserable?
If your current girlfriend doesn't want to join you then it's not meant to me.
Although you should be discussing it with her first, she might want to the same thing.
Edited by AndrewEH1 on Friday 14th September 13:29
Munter said:
These things are not free. "I see the free healthcare, the opportunity for every child to have a free education"
We pay for them. Then we don't get as good versions as them as we could for the same money in a different system. Yay. We should not point out the issues here. We should be happy about it without question.
I pay €350/month for health insurance in a country with 52% higher rate tax. Yes the nhs could be more efficient, but it's way better than a lot of countries have. We pay for them. Then we don't get as good versions as them as we could for the same money in a different system. Yay. We should not point out the issues here. We should be happy about it without question.
NordicCrankShaft said:
The worst thing that is getting me down is the attitude of people in the UK. Almost everyone is so negative and gloomy and can only see the bad side of pretty much everything. I have literally fallen out with long term friends over this as they were so negative I didn't want to be around them. [/footnote]
It's called being British. Misery is the glue that binds our nation together. I returned in 2008 after 16 years away and totally understand where you are coming from although I imagine the reverse culture shock is even worse now given the toxic and polarised political and social climate.
In my case the main motivation for moving back was to provide a richer environment for children. If that’s not an issue for you then by all means keep travelling – you wouldn’t regret it and the UK will always be here if you eventually want to come back at a different life stage.
Your support network and where you live makes a difference. London gets bashed a lot on this forum and of course it’s ridiculously expensive, but having lived in a number of different countries we needed to live somewhere international and cosmopolitan where we could mix with people from lots of backgrounds. When we first moved back we were in a small-ish town which didn’t work for us as it just felt so narrow - we couldn't relate to people and they couldn't relate to us. We realised we needed to meet more people from different cultures, as well as Brits who have travelled extensively. When you've spent considerable time overseas you can find yourself on a different wavelength compared with folks who haven't.
London isn’t the only place though where you can experience a more cosmopolitan environment – we really like Edinburgh and Cambridge for example.
Canada has a lot to offer but unless you’re in Vancouver you have to be able to put up with the brutal winters, which I’m guessing may not be an issue if you’ve lived in Norway. However it’s worth bearing in mind the UK still has a number of advantages over Canada, Australia and other popular emigration destinations. E.g.
- Access to other places – in Canada you’re a long way from anywhere – obvs there is all of North America to explore but IMO that’s not comparable to having all of Europe within a short flight. Also there a huge amount to see in the UK itself all easily accessible with short journey distances.
- Driving culture (as you’re on PH I presume this is important to you) – yes the traffic density is bad and attitudes to speeding are hardening but the UK is still a far better place to be a petrolhead than Canada (I had my car and my licence confiscated on the spot in Ontario in 2014 for making progress on a perfectly well-sighted, empty and dry country road).
- The richness and quality of discourse – yes it’s declined massively in this country but Canadian politics is just so dry and boring, not to mention the s
tshow that’s going on in Australia and the US.
- Work opportunities – again depending on where you live and your aspirations but few places in the world provide the same access to opportunity as London/SE.
- Entertainment/media – not as much of an issues as it was now that you can pretty much watch anything from anywhere when you know what to look, but nobody does news or sports like the British. Trying to watch F1 for example in NA is a nightmare.
In my case the main motivation for moving back was to provide a richer environment for children. If that’s not an issue for you then by all means keep travelling – you wouldn’t regret it and the UK will always be here if you eventually want to come back at a different life stage.
Your support network and where you live makes a difference. London gets bashed a lot on this forum and of course it’s ridiculously expensive, but having lived in a number of different countries we needed to live somewhere international and cosmopolitan where we could mix with people from lots of backgrounds. When we first moved back we were in a small-ish town which didn’t work for us as it just felt so narrow - we couldn't relate to people and they couldn't relate to us. We realised we needed to meet more people from different cultures, as well as Brits who have travelled extensively. When you've spent considerable time overseas you can find yourself on a different wavelength compared with folks who haven't.
London isn’t the only place though where you can experience a more cosmopolitan environment – we really like Edinburgh and Cambridge for example.
Canada has a lot to offer but unless you’re in Vancouver you have to be able to put up with the brutal winters, which I’m guessing may not be an issue if you’ve lived in Norway. However it’s worth bearing in mind the UK still has a number of advantages over Canada, Australia and other popular emigration destinations. E.g.
- Access to other places – in Canada you’re a long way from anywhere – obvs there is all of North America to explore but IMO that’s not comparable to having all of Europe within a short flight. Also there a huge amount to see in the UK itself all easily accessible with short journey distances.
- Driving culture (as you’re on PH I presume this is important to you) – yes the traffic density is bad and attitudes to speeding are hardening but the UK is still a far better place to be a petrolhead than Canada (I had my car and my licence confiscated on the spot in Ontario in 2014 for making progress on a perfectly well-sighted, empty and dry country road).
- The richness and quality of discourse – yes it’s declined massively in this country but Canadian politics is just so dry and boring, not to mention the s
tshow that’s going on in Australia and the US.- Work opportunities – again depending on where you live and your aspirations but few places in the world provide the same access to opportunity as London/SE.
- Entertainment/media – not as much of an issues as it was now that you can pretty much watch anything from anywhere when you know what to look, but nobody does news or sports like the British. Trying to watch F1 for example in NA is a nightmare.
AndrewEH1 said:
Perhaps a move to Scotland if your industry is there. Lots of outdoor activities, not as 'busy', I feel people of generally happier too.
I was going to say something similar, this is a very scotland centric post, because I live in Edinburgh city centre, but the following close by:cycling- the city has amazing cycle paths/ lanes that take me all over the city, out to the coast, in to the pentlands
mountain biking- the pentlands on the door, 45-60mins you have glentress/ the borders trail centres
hill walking- its scotland we have hills everywhere...... take your pick!
climbing- ratho indoor centre just on outskirts of edinburgh, alien rock in leith
surfing- pease bay within an hour, thurso up north/ west cost a nice weekend trip away
skiing- easy to day trip to any of the scottish centres they are all less than 3 hrs drive. can do day trips or weekends away/ motorhome/ glamping huts/ camping/ b&b's.......
canoeing- loads of rivers, lochs and even a small artificial white water course in glasgow now
driving- some great roads/ scenery all over the country
Now granted some of these activities/ hobbies take a bit of effort/ travel, but the outdoor lifestyle is there if you want it. I can do all of these things in day trips/ afterwork with a bit of effort whilst living in the city. If I chose to live somewhere more central/ rural (say stirling way) I'd have this and more......
So if this is the sort of thing you want in life, its there for the taking, you just have to choose to find it!
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