The Woes of 'Social' Media
Discussion
Mrs B has been on Facebook & Instagram for some 5 years. The only type of internet stuff I have is PH & a couple other petrol fora.
Since Xmas, she has been increasingly on Facebook, even though she claims she has deleted her account. She nearly got scammed by various fake celebrities.
She now goes to bed early, then wakes up around 5am & starts communicating with lord knows who. Our sleep patters used to be regular as clockwork: 11pm to 6.30am. Despite numerous arguments, things seem to be getting worse.
I have looked up the perimenopause, & all the other behaviour she is exhibiting, appears to tie in with this.
If this is indeed the issue, any pointers? Grin & bear it?? At what stage does one just walk away?
Since Xmas, she has been increasingly on Facebook, even though she claims she has deleted her account. She nearly got scammed by various fake celebrities.
She now goes to bed early, then wakes up around 5am & starts communicating with lord knows who. Our sleep patters used to be regular as clockwork: 11pm to 6.30am. Despite numerous arguments, things seem to be getting worse.
I have looked up the perimenopause, & all the other behaviour she is exhibiting, appears to tie in with this.
If this is indeed the issue, any pointers? Grin & bear it?? At what stage does one just walk away?
Biker 1 said:
Mrs B has been on Facebook & Instagram for some 5 years. The only type of internet stuff I have is PH & a couple other petrol fora.
Since Xmas, she has been increasingly on Facebook, even though she claims she has deleted her account. She nearly got scammed by various fake celebrities.
She now goes to bed early, then wakes up around 5am & starts communicating with lord knows who. Our sleep patters used to be regular as clockwork: 11pm to 6.30am. Despite numerous arguments, things seem to be getting worse.
I have looked up the perimenopause, & all the other behaviour she is exhibiting, appears to tie in with this.
If this is indeed the issue, any pointers? Grin & bear it?? At what stage does one just walk away?
She's got another bloke on the go. Does she get defensive when you ask who she's talking to or pulls the screen away from you when lean over to have a look? Always on her phone and exhibiting the same behaviour?Since Xmas, she has been increasingly on Facebook, even though she claims she has deleted her account. She nearly got scammed by various fake celebrities.
She now goes to bed early, then wakes up around 5am & starts communicating with lord knows who. Our sleep patters used to be regular as clockwork: 11pm to 6.30am. Despite numerous arguments, things seem to be getting worse.
I have looked up the perimenopause, & all the other behaviour she is exhibiting, appears to tie in with this.
If this is indeed the issue, any pointers? Grin & bear it?? At what stage does one just walk away?
Lemming Train said:
She's got another bloke on the go. Does she get defensive when you ask who she's talking to or pulls the screen away from you when lean over to have a look? Always on her phone and exhibiting the same behaviour?
Behaviour similar to what you describe. However, she works regular hours with a boss who would fire her on the spot if she was late or bunked off. Gets back from work on time etc. so I'm 99.999% sure there's no actual physical affair. My hunch is the perimenopause, i.e. the emotional effects leading up to the menopause. Mrs B is 48.Lots of info out there, all fairly depressing: https://www.webmd.com/menopause/guide/emotional-ro...
I guess the question is aimed at anybody in a similar situation as me....
Must be s
te being a woman sometimes!Biker 1 said:
Lemming Train said:
She's got another bloke on the go. Does she get defensive when you ask who she's talking to or pulls the screen away from you when lean over to have a look? Always on her phone and exhibiting the same behaviour?
Behaviour similar to what you describe. However, she works regular hours with a boss who would fire her on the spot if she was late or bunked off. Gets back from work on time etc. so I'm 99.999% sure there's no actual physical affair. My hunch is the perimenopause, i.e. the emotional effects leading up to the menopause. Mrs B is 48.Lots of info out there, all fairly depressing: https://www.webmd.com/menopause/guide/emotional-ro...
I guess the question is aimed at anybody in a similar situation as me....
Must be s
te being a woman sometimes!Biker 1 said:
Lemming Train said:
She's got another bloke on the go. Does she get defensive when you ask who she's talking to or pulls the screen away from you when lean over to have a look? Always on her phone and exhibiting the same behaviour?
Behaviour similar to what you describe. However, she works regular hours with a boss who would fire her on the spot if she was late or bunked off. Gets back from work on time etc. so I'm 99.999% sure there's no actual physical affair.
Spending loads of time on social media or staring at a device screen?
Aren’t you just describing most of the world’s population?
Just because she’s just got into it doesn’t mean anything untrustworthy. The fact that you’re not into any of it perhaps makes her feel that she doesn’t want to talk to you about it.
Aren’t you just describing most of the world’s population?
Just because she’s just got into it doesn’t mean anything untrustworthy. The fact that you’re not into any of it perhaps makes her feel that she doesn’t want to talk to you about it.
Lemming Train said:
Does that sound like normal behaviour in a stable relationship to you?
I would suggest that a lot of Women don't do what we'd think of as normal behaviour a lot of the time.I was in trouble for about half an hour the other day for asking if the OH wanted to use the bathroom for a shower, before I stank the place out with a curry/beer s
t. In doing this I was apparently criticising her time keeping ability.When hormones kick in/out, some element of rational behaviour can, sometimes, but not always, go out the window.
OP: Communication is the key. We're not the people you should be talking to.
Munter said:
Lemming Train said:
Does that sound like normal behaviour in a stable relationship to you?
I would suggest that a lot of Women don't do what we'd think of as normal behaviour a lot of the time.I was in trouble for about half an hour the other day for asking if the OH wanted to use the bathroom for a shower, before I stank the place out with a curry/beer s
t. In doing this I was apparently criticising her time keeping ability.When hormones kick in/out, some element of rational behaviour can, sometimes, but not always, go out the window.
OP: Communication is the key. We're not the people you should be talking to.
El stovey said:
Spending loads of time on social media or staring at a device screen?
Aren’t you just describing most of the world’s population?
Just because she’s just got into it doesn’t mean anything untrustworthy. The fact that you’re not into any of it perhaps makes her feel that she doesn’t want to talk to you about it.
This in itself would be relatively normal I agree. What’s not normal is to be heading to bed early and getting up early specifically to go online. Nor is lying about having deleted her account. Aren’t you just describing most of the world’s population?
Just because she’s just got into it doesn’t mean anything untrustworthy. The fact that you’re not into any of it perhaps makes her feel that she doesn’t want to talk to you about it.
I could forgive my other half being online but I would hope that she wouldn’t lie to my face about deleting accounts unless she had something to hide.
Either way there’s an issue if she’s lying about stuff.
El stovey said:
Spending loads of time on social media or staring at a device screen?
Aren’t you just describing most of the world’s population?
Just because she’s just got into it doesn’t mean anything untrustworthy.
Nah.Aren’t you just describing most of the world’s population?
Just because she’s just got into it doesn’t mean anything untrustworthy.
> Suddenly changes to spending all her time on social media after claiming she'd deleted her accounts
> Slinks off to bed earlier than normal to spend time "chatting with lord knows who"
> Wakes up every day 1.5 hours(!) earlier than normal and is straight on her social media again "chatting with lord knows who"
> Arguments erupt when OH enquires who she's talking to
> Won't let OH see who she's talking to and hides screen/pulls it away
Come on guys, seriously? Does it really need to be spelled out? Hint : it isn't her menopause, perimenopause nor any other variant of menopause
.Biker 1 said:
Lemming Train said:
She's got another bloke on the go. Does she get defensive when you ask who she's talking to or pulls the screen away from you when lean over to have a look? Always on her phone and exhibiting the same behaviour?
Behaviour similar to what you describe. However, she works regular hours with a boss who would fire her on the spot if she was late or bunked off. Gets back from work on time etc. so I'm 99.999% sure there's no actual physical affair. My hunch is the perimenopause, i.e. the emotional effects leading up to the menopause. Mrs B is 48.Lots of info out there, all fairly depressing: https://www.webmd.com/menopause/guide/emotional-ro...
I guess the question is aimed at anybody in a similar situation as me....
Must be s
te being a woman sometimes!
I know everyone is saying its an affair but only you will really know.
what it could be is a sense of escapism, maybe life isn't great for her, stuck in a rut, routine or work not great - so not being able to sleep properly hence waking early etc.
maybe she doesn't want to face her issues, or talk about, and would rather escape into a world of make believe (facebook etc)
perhaps instead of forcing the issue and stressing how you want her to stop doing it - focus your energies on understanding why she can do it and support/distract her.
what it could be is a sense of escapism, maybe life isn't great for her, stuck in a rut, routine or work not great - so not being able to sleep properly hence waking early etc.
maybe she doesn't want to face her issues, or talk about, and would rather escape into a world of make believe (facebook etc)
perhaps instead of forcing the issue and stressing how you want her to stop doing it - focus your energies on understanding why she can do it and support/distract her.
I'm finding myself waking up early at the moment and struggle to get back to sleep so I find ways of occupying myself until it's time to get up. I think it might be stress at work, when I wake I find my mind spinning with ideas and scenarios that may or may not play out, these distract me from getting back to sleep again. I'm a bloke, so it's not the menopause. I know I'm not having an affair. I do need more sleep, I nod off in front of the TV in the evening because I'm tired, but almost like jet-lag I'm seemingly getting locked into a different timezone. This wife has my sympathies if she has the same form of insomnia. I think 'escaping' into the virtual chat world of social media could be just that, an escape from her thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I can get back to sleep if I absorb myself in watching a cycling/car video which distracts me from whatever was stressing me out.
idiotgap said:
I'm finding myself waking up early at the moment and struggle to get back to sleep so I find ways of occupying myself until it's time to get up. I think it might be stress at work, when I wake I find my mind spinning with ideas and scenarios that may or may not play out, these distract me from getting back to sleep again. I'm a bloke, so it's not the menopause. I know I'm not having an affair. I do need more sleep, I nod off in front of the TV in the evening because I'm tired, but almost like jet-lag I'm seemingly getting locked into a different timezone. This wife has my sympathies if she has the same form of insomnia. I think 'escaping' into the virtual chat world of social media could be just that, an escape from her thoughts and feelings. Sometimes I can get back to sleep if I absorb myself in watching a cycling/car video which distracts me from whatever was stressing me out.
But if you had a mrs you'd talk to her about the issue if she asked and also you wouldn't be hiding your phone and laptop/tablet screen out of sight of her when she innocently just wanted to have a look-see at what you were watching/doing on the internet - you know, normal stuff that normal couples do if you're sat/laid next to each other.Gassing Station | Health Matters | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff