Anyone just tired?
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Discussion

Pistonheader101

Original Poster:

2,206 posts

136 months

Wednesday 20th March 2019
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Anyone just tired?

C0ffin D0dger

3,440 posts

174 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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Two kids, decent job (so put in the hours), don't sleep enough, running 16 miles this week and increasing over the next few, lots of DIY to do at home. Yep, permanently tired.

RTB

8,273 posts

287 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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Yep, stressful job, weight training 4 times a week, 2 children to run around after and I'm a terrible sleeper. I never seem to have time to rest, it's just a constant treadmill. I think I feel alright, but i may just have gotten used to it.

Currently it's a race between retirement and premature death, either way, at least I'll get chance to rest...... smile


hkz286

149 posts

113 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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there is a worldwide epidemic of people depriving themselves of sleep,

listen to this and change your behaviour smile

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwaWilO_Pig

its pretty terrifying.

There is also a culture of believing that "sleep when your dead" and "I'm too busy to sleep" means your somehow more in control of your life and achieving what others aren't/can't.

It is difficult to get the required 7-8 hours sleep a night but the consequences of not doing are pretty horrendous. Not short term (not really anyways) but long term its pretty awful frown

Robmarriott

2,969 posts

187 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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I am. It’s a combination of trying to lose weight so not getting enough calories, not enough staff at work so I’m working harder than I should be, depression from living on my own and anxiety from constantly worrying about everything, particularly money. I also don’t get enough natural light and I think that’s a massive part of it.

boxst

3,806 posts

174 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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Yep. Tired of life, tired of struggling. Outwardly everything is good, but inwardly can't really cope anymore.

Occasionally I do think all those inner demons will become too much and then that'll be it.

vwsam_

75 posts

106 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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Constantly. At 23 years of age I should have bundles of energy, but working a decent full time job, commuting 60+miles a day and working out 6 times a week does take its toll sometimes. Nonetheless, I enjoy it.. hard work never hurt anyone, right? wobble

HarryFlatters

4,203 posts

241 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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boxst said:
Yep. Tired of life, tired of struggling. Outwardly everything is good, but inwardly can't really cope anymore.

Occasionally I do think all those inner demons will become too much and then that'll be it.
Please talk to someone about that. DM me and talk to me if you like, but please talk.

Munter

31,331 posts

270 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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Robmarriott said:
depression from living on my own
Don't worry. You can get the same from being attached.

Trophy Husband

3,924 posts

136 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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Same here. Tiredness is a modern plague!

I get a maximum of 4 hours unbroken sleep a night and then ruminate on problems. Running my own business is a constant pressure. My wife doesn't understand that effectively I am working every hour that I'm not sleeping, at least mentally. Even when I take my two young sons for a walk or a bike ride my mind is constantly at it. I'm looking forward to the Spring/Summer so we can get out more and do more fun things to distract me. I'm lucky that I live in the middle of a National Park and am surrounded by nature. If I lived in a town or city I think I'd have gone mad by now.

I've been using Sleep with Me podcasts by Drew Ackerman which has helped a lot recently although they are a bit mental at first.

Over over under steer

804 posts

152 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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RTB said:
Yep, stressful job, weight training 4 times a week, 2 children to run around after and I'm a terrible sleeper. I never seem to have time to rest, it's just a constant treadmill. I think I feel alright, but i may just have gotten used to it.

Currently it's a race between retirement and premature death, either way, at least I'll get chance to rest...... smile
It's comments like this that make me fear if my soon to be wife and I have kids that it cements in my requirement to continue to work full time in the city to support us until I'm past 50.

We keep talking over and over about just selling up now, buying somewhere small and cosy abroad, living off an income of the assets we have and looking to set up a small local biz or work locally and just drop the priority of money in our lives.

It's both an exciting but also potentially lonely option.

PS I'm sure you're a great Dad and have a lovely life, but we are at a stage where kids are <3 years away and we are debating if that's the route we want to go down....

tomw2000

2,508 posts

224 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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HarryFlatters said:
boxst said:
Yep. Tired of life, tired of struggling. Outwardly everything is good, but inwardly can't really cope anymore.

Occasionally I do think all those inner demons will become too much and then that'll be it.
Please talk to someone about that. DM me and talk to me if you like, but please talk.
Boxst as Harry says please talk to someone. Being tired doesn't help at all when the rest of life feels overwhelming. There's always a way through to work stuff out. Message Harry, you can DM me too if it helps. But do speak to someone. A couple of years ago I saw a counsellor once a week for about 8months and it made a massive (positive) difference.

Back to the OP - yes tired....in fact deeply fatigued at times - literally dead on my feet. Long commute and work hours, at times a v stressful job. Trying to shoehorn in at least some exercise and balance getting some social time in too so I don't feel like I am just working and sleeping and doing nothing else. Diet not woeful, but could be better. I reckon I've averaged <6hrs sleep a night for YEARS.

I'm 47 this year and figure this is it now from here on in smile

(not really, I'm gonna try and figure it out).

Robmarriott

2,969 posts

187 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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Munter said:
Robmarriott said:
depression from living on my own
Don't worry. You can get the same from being attached.
Oh I know, it's not worn off from during my failed marriage yet... hehe

LeighW

5,353 posts

217 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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Trophy Husband said:
...Running my own business is a constant pressure. My wife doesn't understand that effectively I am working every hour that I'm not sleeping, at least mentally...
Same here, I miss the days when I was employed and could pretty much switch off from work at 5pm. I've been seeing a psychotherapist once a week for a while, and it's certainly helping me to try and destress. I've also learnt some pretty bullet proof techniques to get me back to sleep if I do wake up and start thinking about work etc.

Shuvi McTupya

24,460 posts

276 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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Robmarriott said:
I am. It’s a combination of trying to lose weight so not getting enough calories, not enough staff at work so I’m working harder than I should be, depression from living on my own and anxiety from constantly worrying about everything, particularly money. I also don’t get enough natural light and I think that’s a massive part of it.
Apart from being broke, malnourished, depressed and overworked, How's things?

Sorry smile



markiii

4,289 posts

223 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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permanently, doesn't matter how much sleep i get either. Brain is just dog tired

Piersman2

6,676 posts

228 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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anonymous said:
[redacted]
^This. I find having something on the go that I'm doing for me helps to give the mind a distraction from the ste that worrying about work brings... especially when you wake up 3 hours early! For me I find having a car/bike/DIY 'project' helps as it gives me something to focus on as I'm drifting back to sleep, planning out the next job, etc...

The difference is that because you're doing it for yourself, there's no time pressures or relying on others, it's all under your own control/standards/timelines. Thinking about work just winds you up as you think about all the whatifs, buts and maybes and the stress of it just keeps your mind wide awake and going full pelt.

I often look around my colleagues on a project and wonder how many of them get any sleep considering the position their deliverables are in. I can only assume they don't give a st. I try to adopt the same attitude myself, but my brain/personality just won't let me. It's tiring on projects which is why I've just taken 6 months out to find another contract as I needed some time out to re-charge and then looking for the right kind of role for me.

RTB

8,273 posts

287 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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Over over under steer said:
It's comments like this that make me fear if my soon to be wife and I have kids that it cements in my requirement to continue to work full time in the city to support us until I'm past 50.

We keep talking over and over about just selling up now, buying somewhere small and cosy abroad, living off an income of the assets we have and looking to set up a small local biz or work locally and just drop the priority of money in our lives.

It's both an exciting but also potentially lonely option.

PS I'm sure you're a great Dad and have a lovely life, but we are at a stage where kids are <3 years away and we are debating if that's the route we want to go down....
There are no right decisions, but it is easy to end up trapped in a particular rut. Kids are great, but they do make the ruts deeper.

We're actively talking about cashing in (mortgage free on our house and most of the way through a second mortgage), but it's difficult to imagine what life would look like without the ever flowing corporate teat to suckle on. smile

I sometimes think it would be better if I had nothing to lose




Robmarriott

2,969 posts

187 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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Shuvi McTupya said:
Apart from being broke, malnourished, depressed and overworked, How's things?

Sorry smile
laugh tolerable smile

Electronicpants

3,116 posts

217 months

Thursday 21st March 2019
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So tired that I could close my eyes right now at my desk and fall asleep within seconds.