Persuading someone to get a hearing aid
Discussion
All,
My dad has struggled for a few years with different sound pitches but he’s adamant he doesn’t need hearing aids. Things is he misses out on conversation and I noticed recently that it appears he’s getting forgetful as he asks the same questions in short succession - I think this is because he’s struggling so much to hear that he isn’t listening to the answers.
Even my young kids have commented on it to him but he won’t listen - pardon the pun.
Any ideas how I can persuade him - he’s driving my mum mad!
My dad has struggled for a few years with different sound pitches but he’s adamant he doesn’t need hearing aids. Things is he misses out on conversation and I noticed recently that it appears he’s getting forgetful as he asks the same questions in short succession - I think this is because he’s struggling so much to hear that he isn’t listening to the answers.
Even my young kids have commented on it to him but he won’t listen - pardon the pun.
Any ideas how I can persuade him - he’s driving my mum mad!
Very difficult. People can get very defensive when their frailties are brought up.
Has he got a friend whose view he respects? If so then see if you can get them to speak to him.
Had this with my mum and it was her best friend getting a hearing aid and chatting about it that finally got my mum to have a hearing test.
Has he got a friend whose view he respects? If so then see if you can get them to speak to him.
Had this with my mum and it was her best friend getting a hearing aid and chatting about it that finally got my mum to have a hearing test.
Speaking from personal experience as a hearing aid user and being married to a wife who needs and has an aid but doesn't use it I can only say it has to come from the sufferer.
I managed my poor hearing for years I thought well but clearly not as once I had an aid it was a revelation and I have embraced hearing aids fully and use mine all day every day.
My wife has never given hers a decent chance and is in the same boat as your Dad.
Somehow you have to get them to want to hear better. How loud is the TV? Get the grandkids to say it's way too loud and turn it down to a good level for them which he won't be able to use I dare say.
It's hard. NHS tests and aids are free though so he could just try them to 'put your mind at rest'?
I managed my poor hearing for years I thought well but clearly not as once I had an aid it was a revelation and I have embraced hearing aids fully and use mine all day every day.
My wife has never given hers a decent chance and is in the same boat as your Dad.
Somehow you have to get them to want to hear better. How loud is the TV? Get the grandkids to say it's way too loud and turn it down to a good level for them which he won't be able to use I dare say.
It's hard. NHS tests and aids are free though so he could just try them to 'put your mind at rest'?
There are a number of online hearing tests available now that whilst not 100% will give a good indication and may at least start a conversation about the need to do something.
Another route could be to download a AB word list and read them out one at a time at a normal conversational volume whilst your Dad has his eyes closed and ask him to repeat the word back to you. See how many he gets right. He might be surprised at the results.
https://www.soundbytesolutions.co.uk/word-lists/ab...
Low frequencies generally remain ok so volume not the issue, high frequencies are the ones lost. Hence loss of clarity, repeating etc....It is quite common to not feel there is a problem as they can hear cars pull up, dogs barking etc but not appreciating the lack of clarity so blame others for mumbling etc. It's not me it's you....
Technology available is great these days but the first step (and the hardest) is to understand the issue is real, (unlikely) to go away on its own and the sooner help sought the better the outcome.
Another route could be to download a AB word list and read them out one at a time at a normal conversational volume whilst your Dad has his eyes closed and ask him to repeat the word back to you. See how many he gets right. He might be surprised at the results.
https://www.soundbytesolutions.co.uk/word-lists/ab...
Low frequencies generally remain ok so volume not the issue, high frequencies are the ones lost. Hence loss of clarity, repeating etc....It is quite common to not feel there is a problem as they can hear cars pull up, dogs barking etc but not appreciating the lack of clarity so blame others for mumbling etc. It's not me it's you....
Technology available is great these days but the first step (and the hardest) is to understand the issue is real, (unlikely) to go away on its own and the sooner help sought the better the outcome.
I've got a duff ear. The other one's not too good. My hearing is reduced normally and when there's lots of background noise, I'm all but deaf to conversation.
I tell people I have a hearing problem. They can either speak up or keep being asked to repeat what they said. The choice is theirs.
I've tried hearing aids, one internal and a couple around the ear. I found them all uncomfortable, but that's to be expected. Worse, though, is that they did not help my hearing with regards conversations when there was background noise, or at least enough for them to be worthwhile. Away from such situations, they were a hindrance.
One significant advantage of an external hearing aid, at least according to an uncle of mine who had similar problems to me - it's a family trait - is that people noticed the hearing aid then spoke clearly and loudly. He did not bother to switch it on in the main. Further, and a slight dig at the poster under the OP, is that people don't take the mickey.
TV subtitles have revolutionised my enjoyment.
I'll eventually have to admit defeat and plug myself in. But until that day, just speak up.
I would also point out, for those who converse with the HoH that most people follow lips to a greater or lesser extent. It helps me no end. If you want to help, keep facing the person when speaking.
I tell people I have a hearing problem. They can either speak up or keep being asked to repeat what they said. The choice is theirs.
I've tried hearing aids, one internal and a couple around the ear. I found them all uncomfortable, but that's to be expected. Worse, though, is that they did not help my hearing with regards conversations when there was background noise, or at least enough for them to be worthwhile. Away from such situations, they were a hindrance.
One significant advantage of an external hearing aid, at least according to an uncle of mine who had similar problems to me - it's a family trait - is that people noticed the hearing aid then spoke clearly and loudly. He did not bother to switch it on in the main. Further, and a slight dig at the poster under the OP, is that people don't take the mickey.
TV subtitles have revolutionised my enjoyment.
I'll eventually have to admit defeat and plug myself in. But until that day, just speak up.
I would also point out, for those who converse with the HoH that most people follow lips to a greater or lesser extent. It helps me no end. If you want to help, keep facing the person when speaking.
Derek Smith said:
I've got a duff ear. The other one's not too good. My hearing is reduced normally and when there's lots of background noise, I'm all but deaf to conversation.
I tell people I have a hearing problem. They can either speak up or keep being asked to repeat what they said. The choice is theirs.
I've tried hearing aids, one internal and a couple around the ear. I found them all uncomfortable, but that's to be expected. Worse, though, is that they did not help my hearing with regards conversations when there was background noise, or at least enough for them to be worthwhile. Away from such situations, they were a hindrance.
One significant advantage of an external hearing aid, at least according to an uncle of mine who had similar problems to me - it's a family trait - is that people noticed the hearing aid then spoke clearly and loudly. He did not bother to switch it on in the main. Further, and a slight dig at the poster under the OP, is that people don't take the mickey.
TV subtitles have revolutionised my enjoyment.
I'll eventually have to admit defeat and plug myself in. But until that day, just speak up.
I would also point out, for those who converse with the HoH that most people follow lips to a greater or lesser extent. It helps me no end. If you want to help, keep facing the person when speaking.
Bit selfish really. You're the one with the problem, but everyone else has to speak up to accommodate you? I tell people I have a hearing problem. They can either speak up or keep being asked to repeat what they said. The choice is theirs.
I've tried hearing aids, one internal and a couple around the ear. I found them all uncomfortable, but that's to be expected. Worse, though, is that they did not help my hearing with regards conversations when there was background noise, or at least enough for them to be worthwhile. Away from such situations, they were a hindrance.
One significant advantage of an external hearing aid, at least according to an uncle of mine who had similar problems to me - it's a family trait - is that people noticed the hearing aid then spoke clearly and loudly. He did not bother to switch it on in the main. Further, and a slight dig at the poster under the OP, is that people don't take the mickey.
TV subtitles have revolutionised my enjoyment.
I'll eventually have to admit defeat and plug myself in. But until that day, just speak up.
I would also point out, for those who converse with the HoH that most people follow lips to a greater or lesser extent. It helps me no end. If you want to help, keep facing the person when speaking.
My mum was the same and never bothered to wear her hearing aids. I refuse to shout at people, especially when out for a meal for example and she's eventually relented. Nobody can even see them under her hair and life is much more pleasant now.
Riley Blue said:
Does he wear glasses to help his vision? If so, tell him that a hearing aid is no different - 'glasses for his ears'.
He does and I have already tried that tack!My daughter has suffered from glue ear since she was a baby and she has had to occasionally wear them when it’s got bad, we’ve even used that to try and get him to get some. He’s really missing out on life and it is very upsetting as sometimes the kids are chatting away to him and he is oblivious and you can see their excitement dropping g away as they think he is ignoring them.
W12GT said:
All,
My dad has struggled for a few years with different sound pitches but he’s adamant he doesn’t need hearing aids. Things is he misses out on conversation and I noticed recently that it appears he’s getting forgetful as he asks the same questions in short succession - I think this is because he’s struggling so much to hear that he isn’t listening to the answers.
Even my young kids have commented on it to him but he won’t listen - pardon the pun.
Any ideas how I can persuade him - he’s driving my mum mad!
One thing that might persuade him, people with uncorrected hearing loss are more prone to dementiaMy dad has struggled for a few years with different sound pitches but he’s adamant he doesn’t need hearing aids. Things is he misses out on conversation and I noticed recently that it appears he’s getting forgetful as he asks the same questions in short succession - I think this is because he’s struggling so much to hear that he isn’t listening to the answers.
Even my young kids have commented on it to him but he won’t listen - pardon the pun.
Any ideas how I can persuade him - he’s driving my mum mad!
https://www.actiononhearingloss.org.uk/live-well/o...
There's quite a few articles about on the subject.
Is he frequently tired? Uncorrected hearing loss is tiring as you have to concentrate to interact with the world.
I'd say the best way to persuade him is to find something he enjoys that is impacted by his hearing loss and use that to persuade him that it'll improve things for him.
They're free on the NHS, he can try it and see how he gets on. He'll definitely find TV far easier, once you reach a certain stage of deafness you spend all your time concentrating on what's being said rather than the plot.
I've got one (no bones in one ear) and I love it, I can interact with the world much more easily when I wear it.
Downsides?
They can be a bit sweaty if you have a mould, easily solved with a smear of vaseline.
Windrush is a b
h! I treat mine just like my specs, sometimes I use it, sometimes it's sat in my pocket. He doesn't have to wear it 100% of the time, it's up to him.
W12GT said:
HTP99 said:
Sorry, say again I didn't quite catch that!
Seriously? You are an idiot.OP, get your Dad to see his GP who will refer him to his local hospital for a full hearing test. Hopefully they will be able to convince him that a hearing aid will help him. My local hospital is brilliant,been looking after me for over 20 years. Regular tests,upgraded aids,good service.
Don`t think if you go private and spend £0000 you will get something special, I`ve been there done that. The good old NHS can supply top of the range aids prescribed to suite your particular hearing loss.
JamesD74 said:
Low frequencies generally remain ok so volume not the issue, high frequencies are the ones lost. Hence loss of clarity, repeating etc....It is quite common to not feel there is a problem as they can hear cars pull up, dogs barking etc but not appreciating the lack of clarity so blame others for mumbling etc. It's not me it's you....
Technology available is great these days but the first step (and the hardest) is to understand the issue is real, (unlikely) to go away on its own and the sooner help sought the better the outcome.
That was exactly the issue with my Dad. His take was 'it's just the high frequencies I have trouble with, it isn't that I can't hear people just that I can't always tell what they're saying'.Technology available is great these days but the first step (and the hardest) is to understand the issue is real, (unlikely) to go away on its own and the sooner help sought the better the outcome.
W12GT said:
Riley Blue said:
Does he wear glasses to help his vision? If so, tell him that a hearing aid is no different - 'glasses for his ears'.
He does and I have already tried that tack!Riley Blue said:
Does he wear glasses to help his vision? If so, tell him that a hearing aid is no different - 'glasses for his ears'.
But they are different, or perceived to be, for the following reasons:1. The are associated with old age and general decline. Glasses are not.
2. Deaf people are perceived by many to be stupid. Deaf and dumb as people say. Dumb used too mean unable to speak, it now means thick. Glasses are associated with intelligence. Of course, neither is true.
3. Hearing aids are much rarer than glasses. You might as well say wheelchairs are glasses for the legs for all it actually means.
4. Glasses work brilliantly. Put them on, and you can see as well as anyone. Hearing aids will never do that for your hearing. They can improve, but not fix.
These are some of the reasons why there is so much resistance towards people wearing them.
The NHS do brilliant hearing aids. Unfortunately, they don't always do brilliant audiologists. And you need both to get anything out of them. Setting up a hearing aid to suit the user is a complex and time consuming process. NHS audiologists just don't have the time.
Halfway house, get an NHS hearing aid and pay for a private audiologist.
Sympathise with the OP.
I have a relative who soldiered on for years missing things. He had a belief that the little bit of hearing he had left would be lost sooner if he started wearing hearing aids - not the case and actually some data that there may be benefits (apart from actually being able to hear what was going on).
His life (and our lives!) far better after he was reassured this wasn't defeat and wearing them wouldn't make a bit of difference to how it was progressing. Worth checking whether there is a specific reason he doesn't want them (I'm not an audiologist but as a doctor it often takes pretty direct questioning to uncover why patients doesn't want something that at first glance seems sensible). Good luck.
I have a relative who soldiered on for years missing things. He had a belief that the little bit of hearing he had left would be lost sooner if he started wearing hearing aids - not the case and actually some data that there may be benefits (apart from actually being able to hear what was going on).
His life (and our lives!) far better after he was reassured this wasn't defeat and wearing them wouldn't make a bit of difference to how it was progressing. Worth checking whether there is a specific reason he doesn't want them (I'm not an audiologist but as a doctor it often takes pretty direct questioning to uncover why patients doesn't want something that at first glance seems sensible). Good luck.
rossub said:
Derek Smith said:
I've got a duff ear. The other one's not too good. My hearing is reduced normally and when there's lots of background noise, I'm all but deaf to conversation.
I tell people I have a hearing problem. They can either speak up or keep being asked to repeat what they said. The choice is theirs.
I've tried hearing aids, one internal and a couple around the ear. I found them all uncomfortable, but that's to be expected. Worse, though, is that they did not help my hearing with regards conversations when there was background noise, or at least enough for them to be worthwhile. Away from such situations, they were a hindrance.
One significant advantage of an external hearing aid, at least according to an uncle of mine who had similar problems to me - it's a family trait - is that people noticed the hearing aid then spoke clearly and loudly. He did not bother to switch it on in the main. Further, and a slight dig at the poster under the OP, is that people don't take the mickey.
TV subtitles have revolutionised my enjoyment.
I'll eventually have to admit defeat and plug myself in. But until that day, just speak up.
I would also point out, for those who converse with the HoH that most people follow lips to a greater or lesser extent. It helps me no end. If you want to help, keep facing the person when speaking.
Bit selfish really. You're the one with the problem, but everyone else has to speak up to accommodate you? I tell people I have a hearing problem. They can either speak up or keep being asked to repeat what they said. The choice is theirs.
I've tried hearing aids, one internal and a couple around the ear. I found them all uncomfortable, but that's to be expected. Worse, though, is that they did not help my hearing with regards conversations when there was background noise, or at least enough for them to be worthwhile. Away from such situations, they were a hindrance.
One significant advantage of an external hearing aid, at least according to an uncle of mine who had similar problems to me - it's a family trait - is that people noticed the hearing aid then spoke clearly and loudly. He did not bother to switch it on in the main. Further, and a slight dig at the poster under the OP, is that people don't take the mickey.
TV subtitles have revolutionised my enjoyment.
I'll eventually have to admit defeat and plug myself in. But until that day, just speak up.
I would also point out, for those who converse with the HoH that most people follow lips to a greater or lesser extent. It helps me no end. If you want to help, keep facing the person when speaking.
My mum was the same and never bothered to wear her hearing aids. I refuse to shout at people, especially when out for a meal for example and she's eventually relented. Nobody can even see them under her hair and life is much more pleasant now.
I have difficulty in situations where there is a lot of background noise. I've tried a hearing aid in my rugby club's bar. It was great. It made the background noise louder. I took it out and the blokes I was with talked a little louder and faced me. They weren't selfish.
Derek Smith said:
I'm not sure that selfishness applies to me. It is more appropriate to apply to those who want me to spend time and money, and experience discomfort, just because they can't be bothered to speak up. It's not asking for much. Face me and I'm not deaf. Speak clearly and a little louder and I'm not deaf. But, it seems, too much to ask. Refuse away, and feel proud of the fact that you can't be bothered to facilitate someone with a problem.
I have difficulty in situations where there is a lot of background noise. I've tried a hearing aid in my rugby club's bar. It was great. It made the background noise louder. I took it out and the blokes I was with talked a little louder and faced me. They weren't selfish.
But all too many people with poor hearing (not saying this applies to you) think others aren't 'speaking up' when the others are actually talking loudly but not actually shouting. It is very difficult to hold a conversation when every comment has to be yelled three times and things take a surreal turn when it turns out they still couldn't hear but were using guesswork to fill in the gaps.I have difficulty in situations where there is a lot of background noise. I've tried a hearing aid in my rugby club's bar. It was great. It made the background noise louder. I took it out and the blokes I was with talked a little louder and faced me. They weren't selfish.
A friend of mine was trying to organise a function with the aid of a fairly young chap who had a hearing problem. The meeting seemed to be going OK until my friend said something like 'did you ask about the wine?' and got the reply 'Magnus Magnusson'.
Dr Jekyll said:
But all too many people with poor hearing (not saying this applies to you) think others aren't 'speaking up' when the others are actually talking loudly but not actually shouting. It is very difficult to hold a conversation when every comment has to be yelled three times and things take a surreal turn when it turns out they still couldn't hear but were using guesswork to fill in the gaps.
A friend of mine was trying to organise a function with the aid of a fairly young chap who had a hearing problem. The meeting seemed to be going OK until my friend said something like 'did you ask about the wine?' and got the reply 'Magnus Magnusson'.
Most people have problems hearing conversations in areas where there is a lot of background noise. This gives rise to the phenomenon of different groups raising their voices and increasing the problem.Sit back as watch it happen in a crowded Neros. A friend of mine was trying to organise a function with the aid of a fairly young chap who had a hearing problem. The meeting seemed to be going OK until my friend said something like 'did you ask about the wine?' and got the reply 'Magnus Magnusson'.
I'm all but deaf in one ear, and what sound I receive conflicts with that in my other ear. In a pub/club/Neros I am forced to cup my 'good' ear to hear conversation and this ensures that people talking to me raise their voice. A hearing aid doesn't help much. I went to see a doctor, about my bad ear, and mentioned the problems it caused with my good one. His advice was ask people to talk slower and clearer. It works for me. When the noise gets really loud, there no way, even with a hearing aid, I could make any sense of what I'm hearing.
An aid would be helpful in doors but my wife and kids speak up for me, without resentment it seems, One of my kids has a 'dead ear', so hearing problems are not unusual in my family. My father was a gunner during the war, so his ears were well worn. I was in firearms in the police and reckon that the trouble I have with my right ear is down to the poor protection we were given.
A blind person I knew casually refuses to wear dark glasses. She reckoned she'd been asked to wear them as her eyes, which seemed to wander around under no guidance at all, and certainly didn't seem connected, could be distracting. As she said, the one advantage of going blind is that you'll never have to wear glasses, and even that the sighted are trying to take away. The one advantage of having hearing problems - few people are deaf - is that you can ignore the bore.
The blind woman's husband/partner used to bring her to an occasional rugby match and would tell her what was going on. He reckoned it made him see a lot more.
If you knew someone who'd lost a foot and his prosthetic made him walk slowly, would it be reasonable to criticise them for not rollerblading?
I used to live near St Dunstans, as was, the blind school. My house was on the route from the nearest pubs, in Rottingdean, to the school. At kicking out time, groups would come along my road and shout at one another as they had no idea how far away they were. A neighbour moaned and said he'd contact the school. I don't know if he ever did. Who was selfish?
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